Don't Fear The Filter: Finding Your Tribe and Self-Worth

Have you ever awoken from a dream so vivid, it felt like a message for your waking life? That's precisely what unfolded for me, and it served as the inspiration for our latest soul-stirring conversation. We navigated the significance of filtering in our daily existence, starting with an intimate recount of a cafeteria dream that symbolized our search for nourishment in life's common spaces. This allegory brought to light the bravery required to seek new environments that truly align with our hunger for growth. Throughout the episode, we unravel how this quest for the right spaces and communities has the power to transform our path.

Joined by the insightful Robb D. Thompson, author of "The Ten Critical Laws of Relationship," we examined the influence of relationships on our self-worth and life’s direction. This is one of my top five favorite books for a reason! What profound insight on how to identify and deal with unhealthy relationships. As the dialogue unfolded, we discussed how the people we surround ourselves with can either uplift us toward our dreams or act like crabs in a bucket, pulling us down into the depths of stagnation. We also sought spiritual guidance, urging listeners to pray for revelation when faced with the confines of a metaph

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:50

Thank you, what's up everybody? Welcome back to the all-purpose pod for an all-purpose life. Wherever you are and however, you're hearing me, call me mr you, the podcast. We thank you again for making us a part of your morning, your day and your we are Weekly Mirror Check before you change the world, baby. Thanks again for joining us. We appreciate all the love and support coming through our social media platforms and they call me Mr you. The podcast is on all the socials now at theycallmemryou, so pretty excited about that. The YouTube channel is progressively growing.

Speaker 1: 1:25

We're hearing a lot more from you guys on our content, what you like, what you're getting from it, questions and topic ideas you have for our show. We love it. We aspire to be the all-purpose pod for an all-purpose life. You hear us talking about that every single week and that's for a reason because, whether it's spiritually, financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, we definitely are addressing the entire person on all of the content we have through our podcast. They Call Me Mr you, so I hope you guys are enjoying the process and are growing and please, of course, we definitely need your support always. Thank you for those that are giving us financial support through Buzzsprout. We definitely appreciate that. Let me know if you'd like to support us in that way as well. We definitely appreciate the monthly support and also if you're supporting us by subscribing to our audio only podcast at Spotify, iheartradio, pandora, apple Podcasts, et cetera, or a full episodes audio and video at YouTube and they call me Mr you. So if you are supporting us, please continue to do so. Please continue to hit the subscribe button and like and share us. Definitely appreciate it. Excuse me, so I want to share with you guys something real quick. Hopefully it is quick. Anyways, it's been on my heart lately.

Speaker 1: 2:43

I had a wild dream. I won't go into the dream in detail, but I'll say that I had a dream about a cafeteria. It's not because I love to eat, but I had a dream about a cafeteria and obviously, if you've been in the cafeteria before, you understand the environment. It is the epitome of the commonplace. As a matter of fact, there's a restaurant that does buffet, probably in your local area. It's basically a large cafeteria. That's what it is. I'm not sure they're trying to go for anything different than that. It's just a big, large cafeteria, big buffet table. A cafeteria is known to be the common area for people who want something to eat. That was probably the biggest clear indicator in this dream. It was a common area.

Speaker 1: 3:33

What I heard in that process of having this dream was the word filtering. I don't share many dreams here. I'm not sure if I shared any in almost four years of doing this podcast but I think this is significant. I really hope that you're hearing me with hearing ears. Today I heard the word filtering. What does filtering mean? It means something that works like a filter, as by removing, blocking or separating out certain elements, a process used to strain an item. So in this dream, I was in a common area where people were eating. But every time I tried to get on the line to get food from this common area, like all the rest of the masses were doing, I found out that either they didn't have my food, they didn't have what I needed to eat, or they gave my food to somebody else, or or I had to get off of the line because of an emergency that required my assistance. So in three different settings, three different instances, I was not able to eat where everybody else was eating, and that was significant to me.

Speaker 1: 4:39

I believe, if you're listening, it could be significant for you as well. Are you in a place in your life right now where you're feeling as though you're surrounded by people friends, family connections, relationships but you don't feel as though you can glean from where they glean. You can't do what they're doing. You can't cohabitate where they cohabitate. It's something to think about. It's not something for you to go and get psychiatric help about. It's a lot simpler than that. It could just mean that that is not an area of influence for you, that's not a place where you can grow and produce the kind of fruits that you may aspire to produce in your life. It could simply mean that it's just not the right place for you, and perhaps not even the right timing as well. It's pretty much that simple.

Speaker 1: 5:29

I think filtering is a big deal, even in the time that we're in right now. So I think filtering is significant in a lot of ways. I think filtering is significant because we are surrounded by so much information. We're surrounded by so much noise coming through our social media channels and even the media in general coming through our TV sets, radios and articles that we read books and things of that nature. We have so much information coming at us, so many things that require or even demand our attention everywhere all the time Nearly 24 hours in a day. Most of them are spent time. Nearly 24 hours in a day. Most of them are spent dealing with all of this information, all of these obligations, all of these so-called responsibilities and emergencies that pop up, usually somebody else's emergency. Could you agree that we need to have a filter to push out the junk that we don't need to have in our life, the elements we don't need in our life? I think filtering is significant for a time such as now. I thank the Lord for even speaking that word to me about filtering. But I also heard during that time was that and this was very significant it rocked my world, because I feel as though it was a perfect example of where I was and what I needed to understand.

Speaker 1: 6:47

What I was going through at the time of the dream was that I was being challenged with changing my environment. Now, that might be easy for some folks, but it really isn't. Throughout the course of about probably six months, maybe even more, I've met so many people that come from different areas of the world geographically, especially in the nation, and they're moving down here. A lot of the Southern folks can't take that. They don't want Northerners and Yankees, like they may call me from time to time. They don't want us coming down here living in their good old South. Yeah, okay, but that's what's happening.

Speaker 1: 7:25

People are coming down here from different places and they're looking for a lot of different things. Not any one thing, it's different things. Some of it is an escape from where they come from. It could be an escape from the snow. It could be an escape from the hustle and bustle and just the kind of frenzy of the city life or a metropolitan life. It could be coming down here for a place to retire and bring their families and kind of just round their lives out on a more peaceful note. There's a lot of different reasons that we've heard. I've met so many people who fall in that category and they all have different stories which are really compelling to listen to. But the bottom line is that they're realizing that where they are, where they've become accustomed to, where they've known most of their life, they're unable to stay there.

Speaker 1: 8:10

And, honestly, I'm a born and raised New Yorker. I'm not ashamed of it, I'll tell you straight. I'm proud and blessed to have been born and raised in that city. I went through some hell, I was I was. I'm just so grateful that I was in that place to grow and develop into the man that I am today. Had I not been there, had I not gone through those struggles, I don't think I would have the kind of mindset, the capacity, even the bandwidth, I have to do what I'm doing right now, had it not been for the things that I've gone through while living in a city that they call the concrete jungle. They call that for a reason. It's not a cute catchphrase. Real hard life stuff happens. If you care enough about some of that, I'll be happy to share some stories with you guys about what that looks like. Matter of fact, a lot of us on the podcast, especially in season one and two, I've a lot of my heart about some of those times. I didn't tell every story, but I've told quite a bit in regards to that. So check out season one and season two of the call me, mr U the podcast. Of course, wherever you get your audio listening, that will not be on YouTube, but Spotify, Alhart Radio, pandora, apple Podcast. You can find those episodes there.

Speaker 1: 9:21

You hear a lot, but what I'm hearing from people who are coming down from up north is that they just can't stay in that life anymore. They don't even know why exactly it happened, just like it wasn't a job change per se. It wasn't a job change per se, it wasn't even a family change, it's just something just changed inside of them. A switch got flipped inside of them, and so you know, I can't stay here anymore. It's time for me to move on, and those are the kind of things that happen to people.

Speaker 1: 9:47

As a matter of fact, if you are a scribe to the Bible at all, look at the story of Abraham. He was locked in and settled with his family. Yeah, they were in idol worship, but he was locked in and settled. I don't see any indication that he had any problems with his being in that environment. He just. But he was there, his family was there, he had comfort in being there with his family. And god told him to move and unsettled everything. God didn't even tell him where to go. He just said move to a place where I'll tell you where you're going to go and why. So that Abram can become Abraham, so that he can become a father of many nations, so that you will be here. So he went to a place that had uncertainty, a place that was unknown to him, a place he didn't have any familiarity with, and it caused massive changes to take place throughout generations in history. History and you are here because of his decision. So think about that.

Speaker 1: 10:39

All the folks I've been hearing it's been coming down here. They all have different reasons for why, but the result is the same they need something different. They need to be away from the thing that had been a strain in their life, elements that were part of their life that they were good for them. It needed to be filtered out. That's what that change did.

Speaker 1: 10:57

When I moved to the South from New York, I was in need of a filter. I had so many things in my life, attached to my life, that just weren't good for me. They were destroying me. To be quite frank, they were bringing me down to a place where I was having some real bad thoughts and thinking about doing some really bad things to myself and to others. I needed to get out of my environment and that changed my entire life. I'm in a place where I can't even thank the Lord enough for the blessings that I have, because I moved by faith out of the place where I was into where he wants me to be. I talk to folks all the time. Usually it's in the area of some kind of mentoring, private coaching or just private discussions with friends or people who I'm connected with and a lot of them have the same struggle, but very few of them are willing to move from where they are.

Speaker 1: 11:54

The Lord told me through that dream you can't eat what they eat. You can't eat where they eat. It is for the masses, meaning the cafeteria is for the masses, but I'm going to feed you. That kind of word can be scary to some people. It was startling to me. I'm not the kind of person that wants to eat out of a cafeteria or a buffet. Anyway. 2020 fixed that for me. If it was ever partially broken, it's been totally fixed for me. I haven't done it since. Don't intend to Cafeterias and buffets. That's for the birds, that's not for me. No offense to anybody who likes cafeterias and buffets. Keep doing what you do, but for me I'm not going to do that. So to hear this word that says you can't eat what they eat, you can't eat where they eat it's for the masses, but I'm going to feed you that's a startling word. It requires a lot of faith because it's something that you can't see and you don't fully comprehend, but you got to trust it.

Speaker 1: 13:00

People move down here on faith From places like Ohio, seattle, washington, new York State, chicago, illinois. They moved down here on faith. I've met them. They only have to look in their eyes and tell you they're not even sure what's going to happen. Their plans are still not fully developed, even in their own minds, and they already live down here and they already moved their stuff down here. They moved their families down here. They're not even sure what's going to happen next. They moved down here on faith whether they knew it or not, and God's calling for that at this time.

Speaker 1: 13:36

Some of you guys and I can hear it through the conversation that we've had, things that I hear from you, even things that I see on your social media. I ain't stalking you guys, but I went into some stuff. Sometimes it sounds to me and it looks to me this is my personal opinion, I'm not an expert it looks to me like people are going through a filter right now. Things are being strained out, they're being separated from certain elements in their life and it's hard, it's causing a strain, there's a pull. Things are being moved, things are being blocked, that's because you're in the filter.

Speaker 1: 14:12

I want to encourage you today Don't fear the filter. Don't fear the filter. It's good for you. The thing that would normally stick with you and stay attached aren't good for you. They're to your detriment. Strain them through the filter. Go through the filter. Go through the process. Go through the process. Allow yourself to be strained so you can come out the way you want to, the way you need to be. You can come out in the form and the fashion you need to be standing in. You'll have much more strength and confidence and influence than you ever have.

Speaker 1: 14:50

If you go through the process of growing. There's a book that I just love. I want to close the the process of growing. There's a book that I just love. I want to close the episode out with this. There's a book that I love. It's in my top five books. There's five books that I just read every single year. I go through them every year. It's kind of part of my tradition. It's one of these top five books of the book called the Ten Critical Laws of Relationship.

Speaker 1: 15:11

If you know me, you know why it's a big deal. I'm big on relationships. If I can't forge relationships. I'll keep right on stepping. If I can do it, if I can forge a relationship with you. You already know I'm going to go all out. I'm going to give you a shirt off my back. There's almost nothing I won't do for you. I aspire to be that kind of friend. Maybe you are too. Maybe you think I'm insane for doing that. That's totally your call, your opinion. But for me, relationships are a big deal. It's what I talk about, it's what I teach about, it's what I try to live as. I aspire to personally develop myself.

Speaker 1: 15:49

There is a book called the 10 Critical Laws of Relationship. I definitely invite you to check it out. It's by Rob Thompson. It's an incredible book. In our top five books. I read it every year and I want to share just one little passage with you on that as we close the show out today. Okay, all right, I'll read it out to you. You can see it right here on the screen, but I'll read it out to you. It says I have realized that the quality of my life is greatly dependent upon those I call friend.

Speaker 1: 16:17

Low self-esteem has plagued so many of us. Because of poor self-image, we have befriended people who have either exploited us or, at best, just used us. We find it hard to believe that anyone of good standing would want to be in relationship with us. This self-devaluation is probably the single greatest cause of poor relationships. You're going to become like those that you associate with bottom line. You're going to become like those that you associate with.

Speaker 1: 16:44

Why am I bringing this up? Because that filter that people are going through, that I'm telling you, I'm seeing and I'm hearing from you guys personally, is because of who you associate with. It's because of who you're connected with, and that's a really big deal. It's because of who you're connected with, and that's a really big deal, it's important. And I recognize that you've been there for a while and it's hard for you to think about stepping away because you've so ingrained in so many tentacles already into these connections, in this relationship that you have helped to build. But my question to you is this this relationship that you have helped to build, but my question to you is this is it where God wants you to be? Now? I'm not going to sit here and question whether you should have ever been there, but some of you, god may be saying you should have never been attached to these people. It may be hard to believe after 10, 15, 20 years and you probably think God blessed all of that. Maybe he didn't. Only he knows that, and you know that from a relationship with him.

Speaker 1: 17:45

I've seen situations where I was in decade-long relationships and I shouldn't have been associated with these people whatsoever. They didn't do anything to help me, to encourage me. I was just continually fighting for an image that wasn't even real. That wasn't even anything that was supposed to be important for me, fighting to be like this in their eyes for decades. And the Lord never said that for me. He never wanted me to live under my privileges, so to speak.

Speaker 1: 18:13

So I challenge you today to look at the relationships you're in, look at the challenges you're going through, look at the filter that you're going through and let the process happen. It may be time for you to step away. It may be time for you to disconnect yourself from the people. Some of them may be equivalent to crabs in a bucket. Every time you think about leaving, they hit you with guilt. They try to break your legs and try to break your self-esteem, try to break your pride. They make you feel lower than you should feel, make you feel like you can't do anything without them. Crabs in a bucket. We got a podcast episode about a couple of those about that as well this year and in season three. Check them out. I think they'd help you out in this situation. Unhitch yourself, go through the filter Because God has a people for you, god has relationships for you that will better you, that will encourage you, that will inspire you and lift you higher, as opposed to keeping you where you are.

Speaker 1: 19:18

Some folks like we read in that passage from 10 Critical Laws are people who devalue you. They don't say you're ugly, you're fat, you're bad. They don't say those things to you, but the way they treat you kind of lets you know where they see you. They put you in an unfavorable spot or undesirable position because that's how they see you. It's not a holding place, it's a prison, it's a little mini jail. Don't let anybody put you in lockup, and God has so much purpose for you. Unhitch yourself from situations like that.

Speaker 1: 19:57

If you don't know what they are, if you're not sure about that, begin to pray. Begin to ask the Lord to reveal to you. If you're in that kind of situation, if you're in that kind of bucket, if you're in a little mini jail where people are giving you just enough to live but not enough to grow. I'm going to say that again for those in the back. Ask the Lord to reveal to you if somebody's giving you in your life, in your circle, in your community they're giving you just enough to live, just bread and water, just enough to live but not enough to grow and develop and become all you're supposed to be, but you're helping them be all they're supposed to be. I'm talking to somebody I know I am. I pray this is a blessing to you. Hope it.

Speaker 1: 20:42

Ministers, I got to get out of here, but enjoy the episode. Please like, share, subscribe and share this episode with somebody who you may think may need to hear this. If it's not them, it's you. Listen to it again and again until you may think may need to hear this. If it's not them, it's you. Listen to it again and again until you get what you need. But I'm excited for you. I'm excited for your future. I'm excited for your breakout out of that jail. You deserve better. Enjoy the music. Coach out, thank you.