Put Me In, Coach

Ever wondered why understanding the motives behind our actions is so crucial? Join me in this engaging episode of "They Call Me Mista Yu" as we kick off with a heartfelt thank you to our dedicated listeners and subscribers on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Pandora, Amazon Music, and YouTube. Using the compelling sports analogy "Put Me In Coach," we unpack the significance of discerning motives in our personal and professional lives. Through personal anecdotes and reflections on relationships, we highlight how evaluating intentions and maintaining genuine friendships can lead to more meaningful connections. A touching story about a friend seeking help and mentorship brings to light the complexities of true motives and the need for cautious engagement.

Shifting gears, we explore the deeper reasons behind Daniel's desire for karate lessons from Mr. Miyagi in "The Karate Kid." Initially driven by a thirst for revenge, Daniel's journey evolves as he learns the

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Chapters

• 0:51 The Power of Motives
• 10:38 The Importance of Desire and Discipline
• 25:56 Podcast Subscription Appreciation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:51

Thank you. Ah yeah, welcome back to the all-purpose pod for an all-purpose life. Wherever you are and however you're listening today, call me mr you the podcast. We thank you once again for making us a part of your morning, your day and your week. We're your weekly mirror check before you change the world, baby. We thank you so much for all of your support, all of our podcast brand of shows. Thank you for the comments, the financial support that we're getting from many of you. We just thank you for all that you're doing to help us go forward. We believe in the mission. I totally understand the assignment. I'm where I need to be and I'm grateful that you guys are here riding along with me and my family as we move forward into this new era, this new season. We're really grateful for that.

Speaker 1: 1:47

If you are audio only listener we have several of you that are in that realm Definitely find our show. They call me Mr you the podcast on Apple podcast. That is one location only of one of only two locations, excuse me. Well, you can subscribe to our show. One of only two locations, excuse me, where you can subscribe to our show. So please follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts at. They Call Me, mr U, the podcast. If you're listening and you've already subscribed. You want to listen to someplace other than Apple Podcasts. You can listen through Spotify. Iheartradio, pandora is a good favorite of mine. Amazon Music is really awesome too. Just, uh, joined with them as well, so you have the opportunity there. And, of course, if you are watching and listening, which many of you are, our youtube channel is at. They call me, mr you, m-i-s-t-a-y-u. Same here as on the screen. Uh, you can definitely follow us there, please. So the subscription is going to help us move forward to our goal. It is a lofty goal. We're a bit away from it, but we're grateful that we're on this journey and we know we're going to get what we need to get to in the time when we need to get there. So we're excited about that. No angst or anxiety on our part. We're excited about the journey. So, if you don't mind, please help us out on both fronts by subscribing to the podcast and the YouTube channel. It will mean a lot to us.

Speaker 1: 3:13

Today I want to kind of just share something really quick with you. Hopefully it's quick. I'm laughing, but the topic of this I want to call it put me in coach. I thought it made a lot of sense because of what I was thinking and pondering in my mind, but it brings to mind a picture of a sports game being played probably a football game and there's somebody on the bench who has been there for a while and he believes he has a contribution he can make to the team. So he wants to get in with the rest of the starters and make an impact on the game and help his team win. That's how it looks on the surface, but and we, honestly, it's where the good part of us comes in we all want want to believe the best in one another. We all want to believe the good in each other. Sometimes it's to our own detriment, but we live with that because that's how we're wired Most of us are anyways. We want to believe that God wants to get into the game because he wants to help the team, he wants to make an impact that helps his friends win the game and maybe even eventually win a championship, win their division. So it seems honorable and admirable to want to be in the game to help your team win. What's wrong with that? Right, that sounds okay, right, but what we can't see is a person's motives. What we can't see is why we hear what they're telling us but we can't see the actual why that drives them to do what they're doing, to want to be quote unquote in the game.

Speaker 1: 5:11

There's so many examples that kind of just hit my spirit. I don't know if I have enough time to go into a lot of them, but what I'm learning now in this season of my life is evaluating myself through the lens of relationship Relationship. If you know me even a little bit, you know that's big to me. I don't play around with it. It's serious. If I'm your friend man, I'm your friend. There ain't no question about it. I got you. I'll probably do things for you that I don't even like doing, but I'm your friend, I got you. That's how I look at friendship.

Speaker 1: 5:56

I've seen situations, especially recently, where people have been exposed for having a motive that maybe isn't quite what they presented initially. Now, that's not a new thing. It's been happening since the beginning of time. Or hold yourself to a higher standard in that area and not allow yourself to get caught up in somebody else's mental headspace. What they got going on, you can get caught up in their stratosphere trying to do what they're trying to accomplish. They don't even understand what's going on.

Speaker 1: 6:39

Like I said, I got so many examples I don't even know where to start. I have one I was talking to a friend I won't mention gender because I won't even identify the person even that much but I was talking to a friend probably about, I'll probably say, about a year ago. The friend was local to the area where I live now, the area where I live now but they moved I want to believe they moved on good terms, but they moved to a different city and they had some struggles out there. During the time they were there, they were asking me for help, wanting my support, asking me if I wouldn't mind coaching them, mentoring them in some specifics regarding personal development. They kind of knew or found out about some of my background as a professional uh, certified life coach and they wanted me to help them do some stuff. Excuse me, no problem there. You got to evaluate that and weigh that. I didn't weigh that very, very well in that season of my life. Much better now, Much better now. But then I didn't do that to the best of my ability, but I agreed to help this person.

Speaker 1: 8:05

What I discovered was that a person had motives for why they wanted that kind of help, excuse me. They wanted some things that they probably didn't need. They wanted some things that probably wouldn't be good for them to have, but they thought that I'd be able to help them leverage that, help provide some momentum if you will help them get to the place where they can achieve whatever that thing was that they wanted, even if it wasn't the best thing for them. I began to find out that a lot of what they were telling me, a lot of what they were saying, it wasn't exactly very close to the truth. It wasn't exactly very close to the truth. I found that out a little bit later than you would like to find out, but what I discovered was that they asked something that sounds honorable in the service, but their motives weren't right.

Speaker 1: 9:01

Let's go back to the guy that wanted to get back into the game. The football player that wanted to get back into the game. The football player that wanted to get back into the game begging his coach to put him in. Put me in, coach. What if his motives to be in wasn't right? What if his motive wasn't really about the team? What if his motive was about something that he wanted to achieve for himself. What if he found out there was somebody in the audience that could help further his career and take him beyond the team that he was on and take him to a place of notoriety that the team on its own may not have provided for him? So he wanted to go and show off, showcase his skills. The coach didn't feel like he was ready. That's probably why he wasn't put into the game. But he wanted to get in for other reasons. See, that changes the whole dynamic now, doesn't it? Now it looks different. It's not as innocent as it looks. Now, that's the power of motives. They hide behind a surface that we can't see. They all eventually come out. It comes out in the wash, it comes out in our actions, but it's not always readily available to see.

Speaker 1: 10:16

Here's a question I want to ask you guys. I know this might be egregious and I'm going to take a sip of water first before I ask the question. I want to ask a question. Do you remember the movie the Karate Kid? Sound familiar, doesn't matter which iteration you were watching, it could be the original one. The premise is still the same.

Speaker 1: 10:38

Excuse me, but the main characters are Daniel, who was a karate kid, and his mentor, his teacher, mr Miyagi. Right, mr Miyagi was not actively teaching people the art of self-defense or karate. He was doing other things because of a long history of other issues that we need to find out what those issues were. But he wasn't actively teaching anybody anymore. He'd been hurt in life. Daniel went to him to ask him to teach. He wasn't actively teaching anybody anymore, he'd been hurt in life. But, like that, daniel went to him, asked him to teach him karate so he can learn how to defend himself. Now, that sounds good. That's all you understood. But let's be honest, we don't talk about this much when we review this movie. But Daniel had a different motive. He didn't want to just defend himself. Daniel wanted to put it on somebody and they messed with him. He wanted to put it on somebody and be able to do so confidently and skillfully if somebody stepped wrong toward him.

Speaker 1: 11:50

That's different than wanting to defend yourself, isn't it? It's like somebody who wants to be a gun owner so they can defend their family, defend their house. But some people want to be a gun owner so they can shoot people. You think that's not a real thing. Those folks live among us, trust me. They live among us. They want to do things to people, let out their aggressions on people, not just defend their household. They want somebody to come to their household and try something. They want somebody to approach their vehicle with bad intentions so they can use their gun to do things to the person. It's not the same thing, as you know what I don't want to do this. I would defend myself at all costs, but I don't want to do this. I will defend myself at all costs, but I don't want to have to do this. If you've ever been in a class where you learn about firearms training and carrying a weapon that's dangerous, that's one of the first things you'll hear. It ain't your goal to want to do this. I've seen classes taught by former law enforcement, former FBI agents, and they always espouse the same principle. It's not the desire to go and hurt people. It's not the desire to unload on somebody.

Speaker 1: 13:07

You only want to use your weapon if you absolutely have to use it, which is an awesome side note. You got a weapon inside of you and we use it very, very easily when we probably should not use it. Most times, that's that tongue we probably shouldn't use it. We should shut it down when we can't help ourselves. We know it's powerful. We know we can tear somebody down with it. We can destroy them and shut them up, shut them down easily, just by opening their mouth and saying certain things. We can shut the opposition down, but should we? Is that the best way to use that weapon? Is that the kind of legacy you want to create? Is that the kind of damage you want to do? Something to think about? But Daniel had ulterior motives. Daniel wanted to hurt people like he was being hurt. Daniel wanted to lash out and get that R word revenge. Mr Miyagi took him through that business, took him through that training and had him learn not just the skills and the arts but also how to operate with integrity and use the weapon that he has in the proper way, with responsibility.

Speaker 1: 14:28

Do you want to get revenge or prove somebody wrong about something or prove somebody wrong about something? I'm asking this because I get a lot of requests for coaching and mentoring, like what I just described a little while ago. I'm not actively in practice anymore. I don't have a coaching business anymore. Everything I'm doing I'm doing free of charge. I can literally legitimately charge people for the services. I just don't do it. Maybe I had to change down the line, but right now I don't do that anymore and I'm okay with it.

Speaker 1: 15:06

But why do you want to be coached? Why do you want to be in the game? Why do you want to be mentored? Do you want a mentor to walk you through all of life stuff, or do you want a quick fix for a long-term issue? Do you want to grow in the process or do you want to just get over this hump that you're dealing with right now? Why do you want to be coached? Why do you want to get into the game? It really starts with desire. Daniel's desire was almost his undoing. It made his education longer and harder because he didn't deal with the fact of why he wanted what he wanted.

Speaker 1: 15:49

I get people that ask all the time if I don't mind coaching them. Sometimes I even ask that me and my wife coach them and their wives, or them and their husbands, and my question goes back to the desire. I don't ask it right off, but I usually get to it after the second or third question. Why do you want to do this? To get that man straight? That's not the reason why you do something like this. You don't engage in coaching so you can get prove somebody to be wrong and prove yourself to be right. You understand what I'm saying. That's not why you do this.

Speaker 1: 17:14

It boils down to desire. That's the first thing it boils down to. It comes down to desire, and the Bible is really big on desire. It talks about it in great detail. Excuse me, check out James, chapter 4, verse 3. Check that verse out. It says you ask and you do not receive, because you ask amiss or you ask in error that you may spend it on your pleasures. How often do we pray for things that Don't have anything to do with what we actually need right now? How many times do we pray for things that don't have anything to do with what we actually need right now? How many times have we prayed for something that was petitioned with selfish or wrong motives so we can get something that we probably didn't need to have? How many times has that happened? More times than you can count, I'm sure. Desire is a big deal.

Speaker 1: 18:06

The second thing, after desire is discipline. Daniel learned that thing in a hard way. His discipline was tougher. Excuse me, his discipline was tougher because his attitude was all wrong. Mr Miyake had him mopping and cleaning windows and cleaning cars. He was like what are you doing? I'm not learning about this. I want to learn how to hit people, how to kick people's head off. You got me over here mopping and sweeping and wiping down windows and washing cars. But what Daniel didn't understand because his desire was all wrong he didn't understand that what he was learning was a skill that was going to be valuable to him for his entire life. It just didn't look the way he expected it, because he had a certain desire. He had a desire not only for a certain thing to happen, but he saw it a certain way happening. He saw the educational process going a certain way too. Don't we all do that sometimes? Yeah, he was mopping and sweeping and wiping down windows, but he was doing something else too. He was learning the art, the technique of karate. He didn't understand it because he had an incorrect desire and a lack of karate. He didn't understand it because he had an incorrect desire and a lack of discipline.

Speaker 1: 19:31

Unlike Daniel, when you do the hard things, are you willing to master the mundane? It's mundane to have to wipe down a window over and over again. It's mundane to have to sweep and mop. It's mundane to have to do the same thing every day, whether it be reading, listening, developing yourself it's not fun. It's boring. To read a chapter out of a book every day it's not fun. If you're reading a fun book, that may be good, but something that you think is juicy, like a juicy novel. But to develop yourself, personal development books it's not fun to read. They rarely ever make you laugh. They don't always fill you with excitement. They don't take you into a magical, creative world of thought and imagination. It's skill set and you read it every day. To develop yourself in that area, it's mundane.

Speaker 1: 20:35

But everybody I've ever met that has any level of success and I've met many, which I'm grateful for they all say that the key to the success is two keys. One they said is to attach yourself to somebody who's actually been successful in the area you want to walk in, you want to prosper in. Attach yourself to somebody who's actually done what you're trying to accomplish. But the second thing they always say is master the mundane, master the mundane, master the mundane. Do the mundane things so well, because that's where the details are. It's in those small details that that's where you prosper and grow the most. Learn how to master the mundane. Are you willing to do that?

Speaker 1: 21:18

Do you have a history of staying in power? Do you have a history of perseverance? Anybody that's ever wanted to be coached by me eventually going to be asked that question. Do you have a history in staying in the fight or do you have a history of quitting? If I say something that you don't like, if I give you instruction that you don't like or that you don't think line up with where you think you should be going, you're going to quit. You're going to walk away from the program. You're going to give up on yourself and give up on me because you don't like what I said. It's all about discipline. Do you have a history of staying in power? Do you have a historical trail that shows that you're able to persevere? When the prophet Elijah told Naaman to get into the river Jordan to wash himself to be cleansed from his leprous condition, he was offended by that because it didn't match up with the idea that he thought would be the best way to be healed. He was trying to find a shortcut as opposed to walking through the discipline of doing what he was told to do the way he was told to do it.

Speaker 1: 22:33

Everybody want to be a coach and a mentor and I know many folks who fall in that category, but very few want to be coached and mentored. Big, huge, grand Canyon-sized difference. Do they want to be coached and mentored? Will they allow themselves to be coached and mentored? Do they have a willingness to master the mundane? Are they willing to do the hard things? Do they have a history of being persevering and having stay in power? Is the why that you have big enough that you will move forward, even if it's only a degree every day, a few steps every day? Are you willing to continue to move forward and never go backwards? These are the kind of questions that I normally get to when somebody wants to be coached or mentored. I know everybody that's a coach or mentor has their own way of asking questions and getting responses and understanding what they're involved with, but the bottom line is just this it takes desire, the right desires, and it takes an appropriate amount of discipline to be coached and mentored by anybody.

Speaker 1: 23:46

People want to get into the game and be relevant, to be under the spotlight, to be noticed, to be known. That's man's greatest desire to be known. I don't know a literal man walking this earth that doesn't want to be known and acknowledged. I'm sure that applies to women too. I'm sure it's not gender related, but just speaking as a man, one of the biggest things we want to be known and acknowledged. Why do you want to be coached and mental? Why do you want to get into the game? Why do you want the ball? Why do you want that opportunity?

Speaker 1: 24:23

I highly recommend you check your motives and look at your history. It's never too late to change. I know the world doesn't teach us that. They think, well, you got a background in this. It's going to happen to you too. But that's a lie from hell and we don't receive that. I know the world teaches us that You've done this for 25 years and it's never amounted to anything. You're not going to change. You've been doing it all this time. You are what you did. You are what your environment was. That's also a lie. We would not accept that either. It's not too late to change. Look at your history. Look at the patterns. What can you change? What are you willing to accept Is not your life? It's not too late to change. Look at your history. Look at the patterns. What can you change? What are you willing to accept is not your life, is not your future. What are you willing to accept? What are you willing to change? That's the key. You could ask yourself that question. It's about desire, it's about discipline, but at the end of the day, what are you willing to change? Are you willing to change you?

Speaker 1: 25:28

I hope you are wherever you are and however you're listening to the Call Me, mr U, the podcast. We thank you again for making us a part of your morning, your day and your week with your weekly mirror check before you change the world. Thank you so much for the opportunity to share this with you today. I hope it meant something to you and I hope, whoever your coach or mentor is, that they see no reason why it shouldn't put you into the game. You got the right desire and the right discipline and you're ready to roll.

Speaker 1: 25:56

If you're listening on audio, thank you for subscribing to us on Apple Podcasts and listening on Spotify, iheartradio, pandora, amazon Music. Or if you're listening and watching on Spotify, iheartradio, pandora, amazon Music. Or if you're listening and watching on YouTube, our YouTube channel is at theycallmemisteryou. Thank you again for subscribing to the show. We need it and we appreciate it. Thank you very much. Hope you enjoyed this episode today and you're listening to our content. A lot of good stuff in the archives. Check it out and let me know what you think. Have a great day. Enjoy the music.