TCMMY His & Hers Podcast: "The Chase"

Is singleness a death sentence? In our latest episode of the His and Hers Podcast, we return after a long hiatus to explore the nature and ramifications of singleness. We challenge the idea that being single means being alone and instead highlight the importance of self-love and personal growth. Drawing inspiration from Matthew 22:39, we share insights on how this stage of life can be a powerful opportunity to become the best version of yourself.

Breaking generational habits and understanding personal behaviors can transform your life. Finding fulfillment in solitary activities and focusing on self-improvement can lead to a more meaningful and independent life.

Discover how nearly 30 years of marriage have taught us the essence of being whole individuals who come together as one. We tackle societal misconceptions about needing a partner to feel complete and stress the importance of self-worth and independence. Whether single or married, this episode offers valuable insights on building a fulfilling and whole life. Join us for a conversation that will inspire you to embrace your individuality and the power of selfless giving.

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Chapters

• 0:25 Exploring Singleness
• 9:23 Journey to Self-Discovery and Growth
• 17:27 Discovering Self-Worth and Independence
• 31:34 Lessons in Sacrificial Giving

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:25

Welcome back to the His and Hers Podcast. Mr Hughes in the house, the queens in the house How's it going? It's doing great. I'm excited, man. This is awesome. It's been quite a while since the last time that we actually had an episode to do. I believe the date was August 17th and August 18th of 2023. So well over a year now. Wow, Welcome back. Bienvenido, we are back in the house, oh, wow.

Speaker 1: 0:55

But thank you, guys for supporting us and listening to our show. I'm not a big fan of analytics when it comes to podcasts. I try to stay away from the stats and everything, but our His and Her podcast episodes are always the most popular ones that we've ever done, so we got really high expectations for the episodes coming out to you guys this season. Now, if you're listening to us audio only, of course you can find us on Apple Podcasts, which is the only place besides Stitcher where you can download all my episodes and subscribe to the show there and follow us. If you're just listening Spotify, iheartradio, pandora, amazon Music, other ways you can follow our show. If you are doing that, we thank you very much. We have YouTube content as well, where you can follow us there as well. But thanks again for listening to the show. We're excited about being back. So, all right, you ready to roll? Yes, sir, I'm ready, all right.

Speaker 1: 1:51

So we've talked multiple times on multiple different episodes about one of our old, dearly departed not old, but dearly departed mentors, dr Miles Monroe. He passed away several years ago but he wrote several impactful books that touched our lives In the realm of singleness and marriage. One book is called Entitled Single Marriage Separated in Life After Divorce. Not the premise for the episode per se, but we just realized how many friends we had that are single and just kind of watching their struggles and we thought having an episode About what they've been dealing with would kind of help them out. So we kind of not like we're providing a service per se, but just we thought it might be a blessing to hear kind of what we've experienced, what we've seen, what we learned, even since we've been single and into married life, and maybe it might help encourage them to, you know, fight the good fight and keep on going right. Yeah, but in talking about being single we talk about, we want to just talk about singleness in what it actually means being single, separate, unique, being a whole person in Christ.

Speaker 1: 3:00

There's an aspect of this that's out here, where people get the impression that being single means that it means being alone. I believe that's a lie. I don of this that's out here, where people get the impression that being single means that it means being alone. I believe that's a lie. I don't believe that's true. I don't believe singleness is a death sentence. I believe it's an opportunity to enjoy growing and enjoying what it means to develop yourself and be the best person you can be.

Speaker 1: 3:21

There's a person out here that we're neglecting in our singleness the best person you can be. There's a person out here that we're neglecting in our singleness, and I think it's time for us to start paying that person some attention before we get into the meat of our show. One of the reasons why we do this show is because we want to address the whole person, and we try to do that with every episode, all the topics that we talk about. I know it goes across the board sometimes, but it's about the whole person Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. We want to deal with everything. I think, as a single person, it behooves you to address the whole person, not to ignore certain things because certain things aren't happening in your life. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 3:55

Yes, it does, so I'm going to ask you a question, queen. What was your idea of singleness? What was right about it? What was wrong with that view? What, what?

Speaker 2: 4:10

was right about it. What was wrong with that view? What was your idea of singleness? Well, looking back over my life, I never knew what it meant to be single. I have several sisters and I have eight brothers. Eight brothers, four sisters is 13 of us, wow. And I have never seen my sisters live a single life. You know, they were always married. I didn't know what that was about being single. I never seen them, you know, like, go to college or live in their own apartment or their own house. I never saw that growing up, so I never had an idea of that. What you do, I knew that our big focus was to be married.

Speaker 1: 4:53

That was always the plan, huh.

Speaker 2: 4:54

Yes, that's what we were taught. So, you know, I believe that the idea of being single, I have to go to the scripture Matthew 22 and 39, and it says love your neighbor as yourself, and I think that if we learn how to love ourselves and know who we are, we love better. So I think that's the best way I can describe singleness. You know, learning to know yourself.

Speaker 1: 5:23

I love that. I think there's one thing that's even I think it's powerful To see in that same passage Matthew 22, 38 and 39. It's talking about Loving your God with your whole heart, with all your thoughts, with every aspect Of your being, and then loving your Neighbor. How do you do that If you don't know who you are? We're talking about singleness, but not because we're trying to encourage people to hold on until their soulmate shows up. We're talking about enjoying singleness for what it's supposed to be. How is how to get the best results or the best outcome from being single? Everybody starts off single. Yeah, I'm saying so. Nobody's.

Speaker 1: 6:04

Nobody starts off being single, everybody starts off single yeah, you know what I'm saying. So nobody starts off being married. That's what I know of Even a shotgun wedding, somebody started off single first. So it's like just understanding what an opportunity it is to get to know who you are. But how do you love God with all your heart and all your mind and you don't even understand yourself? How do you love your neighbor and love your friends and you don't even know who you are?

Speaker 1: 6:31

It's really, it doesn't really feel like it's love when you don't understand who you are, when it's something that you know, it really only just feeds you. You got to ask yourself is it love If it only feeds you? Is it really love? And if you don't know who you are, you just consume and consume and you never give anything out. Anytime you look in the scriptures about love, you always see there's always a factor, there's always a quality of that love that is talked about in the scripture, where there's something being reciprocated, something's being given, something's being given back, something's being received, something's being given back, something's being received, something's being given. You see that factor all the time. It's never a one-way street where everybody's just being given something and nothing's going back out. It's not love. So this is a situation where I love that passage you gave, because if you don't know who you are, it's going to be really hard to love God or love anybody.

Speaker 2: 7:24

Yeah, that's true, because you know I think about, in loving yourself, what you don't like, what you like, you have to find out. You know who you really are, oh yeah, oh yeah, who you are to your core, you know, I know. Growing up now, you know, I feel like I'm just growing During the club and the things that we've experienced, you know, and doing different parts of ministry and making some choices in life, you know, and still growing as me, the individual, as Wanda, you know, even though I'm used to white, but growing in my singleness as a believer. You know, I see that there are things that I never dealt with from my past and I believe if we, before we got married, if I, would have dealt with those things, there would be things that we wouldn't have to deal with now Financial things and making decisions and just jumping into things that we wouldn't have to deal with now Financial things and making decisions and just jumping into things that we got to later, undo.

Speaker 1: 8:32

There's so much in there I don't know if we even have enough time to touch on that stuff. There's so much in there. I mean, one of the things that I credit that you and I walked through together before we got married was premarital counseling. I credit that so much. I don't know how it's done out here nowadays, I don't really get to see that much and I haven't personally done any premarital counseling for anybody since I've been ordained and licensed and stuff.

Speaker 1: 8:54

But there is a power in that because what that did for us, it revealed yes, it had a revelatory quality. It revealed stuff that we liked about ourself and stuff that we didn't appreciate. It uncovered things that we didn't realize was a thing. Yeah, and had we not, you know, went through that process, answer those questions, did the soul searching that was being asked of us? We wouldn't even have known? I mean, it's just like the person.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Huge example of the lady. Let me tell a story of the lady who every time for the holidays, all her kids come over, the family come over, and she makes a ham and she cuts parts of the ham off and throws it in the trash and then cooks the rest of it or whatever, or she cooks the whole ham and then cuts off part of it and throws it in the trash and then feeds the rest of the family. Now imagine if that person passed it on to her daughter which she did, but you know and then that daughter passed it on to her daughter. You got a generation of people doing something that don't even know why they're even doing it. There was a reason why she cut the ham off, or her mother cut the ham off and she learned that because the icebox was too small. They didn't have room for all the ham, so they had to make it fit in their circumstance.

Speaker 1: 10:05

I'm saying but the icebox was way bigger since then, bigger freezer, bigger refrigerator. She didn't have to do that, but it was a pattern, it was a habit. If I didn't learn in premarital counseling about how I deal with finances, how I look at you know, my time and and and how I look at you know and how I look at what I should tell you and what you need to know, if I didn't deal with that stuff in pre-marital counseling, we would have had a wreck on our hands.

Speaker 1: 10:30

So that was. I love that point. That was profound, to say the least. Yeah, so one thing to encourage you guys we talk about being single and taking the time to get to know yourself. Man, learn how to live. I know Wanda says it all the time. To get to know yourself, man, learn how to live. I know Juana says it all the time. It's something that she definitely lives by. I definitely am coming through the same thing Learning how to live in this season when you don't have people around.

Speaker 1: 10:54

If you're an empty nester per se, or if your life has just changed so much where it's just you. Maybe you moved from a different city where your family is and you're not there with them anymore. Learn how to live. Go volunteer, serve in an organization, get back to your community. Like I said, read some books. Read some books and learn about other people's lives and learn about yours.

Speaker 1: 11:19

And I don't mean romance novels and Harry Potter. I don't mean that I'm talking about. Read books that are going to develop you and teach you about some things that maybe you don't understand, that could help you out to be the best you you can be. Take the time to do that because, at the end of the day, if you don't do that as a single person. I know that being married is important to you and it's going to happen for you, but what happens when they come into your life and you hadn't developed you? The burden on them becomes heavier and weightier, and it's not necessary, shouldn't have to be that it's just two people that are two single, unique, valuable people, two whole people coming together as one in Christ. Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 11:53

I just wanted to say this part right here. One of the biggest things that I was afraid of when you and I got married Was what happens to me when the children are all Gone out of the house and it's just you and I.

Speaker 1: 12:06

There'll be less noise. No, no.

Speaker 2: 12:12

But the reason why I was afraid? Because I didn't have a life, I didn't know me.

Speaker 2: 12:19

Wow I didn't know what happens when my husband retire and he has his retiree friends or he's doing ministry or he is still working, all of those things that had people in it, and I didn't even want to be a part of the people because I didn't know what to say, how to say it, what was going on in the world, because I was in my little box and I was afraid of me stepping outside the box, what that looked like, because I hadn't experienced anything else.

Speaker 1: 12:52

That makes a lot of sense. We had a lot of people that we watched. I mean, we have friends all across the country, excuse me and we see friends trying to fill gaps artificially in life. Yes, they try to find ways to stop the bleeding on their own. In some ways, rather than dealing with the issue, they try to not just cover it up but just try to just, you know, try to fill the void in artificial ways, ways that are not substantial. I mean, you can be single and be whole, you can be married and still feel like you're alone. Yes, having people all around all the time and it's not a commentary on anybody that we know, it's just something you kind of see in today's world People try to surround themselves, like on a Friday night, sitting home by themselves watching TV.

Speaker 1: 13:39

To them it's like a crime to them. Like you know, I can't. This is my life. I have nothing I'm like. No, I love to sit in my chair, nice, warm blanket. This is just me now, revealing me Nice, warm blanket. Give me something nice and warm to drink and sit up in my chair and chill, read a good book or watch something on TV that I can possibly stand and I'm good with that. I don't have to go out into a crowd with a lot of people singing, making noise. I don't look for that. That could be an introvert, extrovert thing. You can decide that for yourself if you're listening. But you know there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1: 14:17

But to them it's like a death sentence, like, oh man, I should be doing something on the weekend because all my friends are doing something, all my friends have somebody and they have a circle of friends and I'm home eating popcorn by myself. That's not a bad thing. Use your time in the best way possible. Having people around you all the time, it doesn't actually solve every problem, especially these kind of problems. They don't get solved by having people around, people who have their weekends free. I know people who I personally know know they go and find something to do, they go and attach themselves to something that somebody else is doing, just to be around people. Or if they're free and their friends want them to babysit, they'll do it, even though they may not even feel physically up to it, they may be tired, they may not even have the mind Because it's been such a crazy week. They'll say yes, just to have somebody around, just to be so-called connected and it's like it doesn't solve the problem. It only hides it until it can't be hidden anymore. It doesn't solve the problem. So being single is not a death sentence, y'all. You don't have to look at it like that. It's not that. It's an opportunity. It's not a deficit. It's an opportunity for sure to learn about you, to grow.

Speaker 1: 15:33

I want to ask you something about what you learned after entering into marriage from being in a single place. I want to just share this real quick. We have a lot of friends that desire to be married and they're kind of perpetually in the chase, so to speak. They want to get a husband or wife at a certain time of the year, or they want to, you know, and they don't think about the personal development piece. Why do you think, as a single person, you're not single now, praise the Lord. But why do you think personal development is important to a single person? Why would you say that?

Speaker 2: 16:42

I think that it is important because there are so many areas of our life that you know we get to deal with.

Speaker 2: 16:50

Okay, and change our mind and not look unstable to the other person. Okay, whether it's the job that we want or the career, the business we want to start, you know you have that opportunity to do the research you need to grow and, you know, just really develop you. You know we said love ourselves. You know, like that scripture said, love your neighbor as yourself, and the one thing about marriage is with you and I. I didn't get to know me as the single woman so, like I said, one of the fears was when the children leave the house, what would I do? I can't pull on you. Your whole life, our whole life, you know. And so what I learned is that I needed to take the time out to do some things for me, and that's something that you encourage me to do. You know, um, whether it was going to the store by myself deciding, you know it was going to the store by myself deciding.

Speaker 2: 17:59

You know, after the children moved out, I was able to have my own office and having my own office and decorating it the way that I wanted to. That was almost like a fear that I had to work through. So what if somebody come over and they need to sleep here and use this room? And and I was always looking out, thinking about somebody else. But then I had to get to the point where, you know, what I need to learn how to express myself, you know is is am I worth paying X amount of dollars for a desk or a chair, or I'll just get a chair from downstairs and haul it back and forth when I want to sit down. No, something as simple as that.

Speaker 2: 18:46

But it just really showed me how much I didn't think I was worth it or that I was valued enough of myself to even do something for myself. And when I begin to grow even more after things that we went through for the last couple of years and see that, you know, god allowed me this time to yet live. And in my living, how am I going to live? Am I going to live broken? Am I going to live disappointed?

Speaker 1: 19:12

Am I going?

Speaker 2: 19:12

to live like I'm always crying woe is me, or I'm going to command and demand some things in my every day and take my rightful responsibility as a believer, knowing that I have the authority, that I have the rights, you know in Christ, to command some things. That's good. So I had to make a decision what my life was going to be. So I like my room, I like my it's awesome I like my chair, you know. I like you know some things that God is doing in me, and it opened up the opportunity to even deal with spiritual things that I have been through that I never dealt with. You know like sometimes I would throw a tantrum and I'm a grown woman. That was good.

Speaker 2: 20:02

That don't look good on me. You know we get this one life and we need to learn how to live it and learn how to love our singleness, and so, in loving the person that I'm becoming and it's even it helped balance us out because I'm not always pulling on my husband I'm able to be that individual person that's sitting here having a conversation. I'm not even judging myself. I used to do this all the time and I don't know if I'm going to say the wrong word and I'm going to feel bad. I don't sit here and do that I used to, but I'm able to have a conversation with him and if I mess up, I'm not perfect, it's all good, I mess up all the time.

Speaker 2: 20:43

This is not my everyday, but I thank God that we're at a point that we can talk about this and I could be the individual person that I need to be having a conversation, having a conversation with this individual person that he needs to be.

Speaker 1: 21:00

I love this man. I mean the idea of singles. It's so funny because when I look back I'm like, wow, what was I doing? I had this. I mean, I didn't have to be honest. My background wasn't full of people who were married, so I didn't have a lot of context for that. Just to be honest, I was surrounded by single folks who were living together, or just single folks period. So that's what I saw the majority of the time. So being married now for almost 29 years is a flat out miracle. There ain't no other way to describe it. Call it what you want to it's a flat out miracle. It's almost 30 years, man. It's a miracle. Yes, 30 years, man, it's a miracle.

Speaker 1: 21:36

But you know, the idea of being single was like a lot of people seem to feel like they're waiting for somebody to come and complete them. You know they use terms like my better half and I'm like what are we talking about here? This is, you're not a half of a person, and it goes back to the value piece that you were talking about. Value means the regard that something is held to deserve the importance, the worth or the usefulness of something. My question to you is if we agree with that determination or definition of value? Who assesses the value of you Because you call yourself a half a person? Who says you're a half a person because you don't have a soulmate, so to speak, or you're not married to somebody? Who says that you are half a person? I just want to know who's speaking here, who we listen to, because I know I know God's not saying it, because the Bible says that it's good to that If the two become one, that means it's two unique, individual people. That means one in one. I don't know about the new math, but the old math says one plus one made two. That means one whole person plus another whole person. One Yusef, one Wanda equals two people who become one in Christ. The math is backwards in the kingdom, but I love it. That's what that means, not no, half of one and half a person to have one person.

Speaker 1: 22:57

We hear that kind of stuff in the vernacular in the media, especially in February, watching See From Line, watching February, you hear it. It's like people think, oh, I'm not a whole person unless I have somebody in my life. I'm not a whole person unless I have a relationship. So I have something to do on the weekends. I need to have a person to bring me chocolates and flowers and jewelry. I need to be. I can't be a whole person until that person shows up.

Speaker 1: 23:21

Man, forget that there's so many people who do great things, who innovate, who invent things, and they're single and because maybe they have a lot more time on their hands, perhaps, but the point is that they do valuable things with their time. You know what I'm saying? It's like this is that I can't stress this enough. Take the time, like I said, read some books, get to know some folks, go out there and talk to folks. We go to the supermarket and we be in there for two hours because we're talking to people and we enjoy it. It ain't nothing. We got no goal, we got no motive, we just talking, talking to me.

Speaker 1: 23:53

I don't know what it's been like that my entire life. I don't know where that's coming from. But the babies and the young folks they want to spend time with me. I don't know. We become instant friends. I don't care where I am in the streets, I don't care if it's in the supermarket, department store, I don't care where I am. The little kids I spend time talking to them and I enjoy it. I ain't thinking about you, oh man, I need to get to this place and go find somebody, or come out here and find somebody to be my mate. I ain't thinking about that kind of stuff. I'm just enjoying where I am and single folks, you got to take the time to enjoy where you are. I mean, this is just. Let me ask you this question what was your biggest myth about singleness? What was the thing that, like, you found out? Somebody told you this was what it was, but you found out later on it's not true what was your biggest myth about singleness.

Speaker 2: 24:42

What I found out about singleness that I would be miserable. Oh God, why that? I would hate it because I don't have anybody there. And I think that because I was married before and got divorced and I was learning what it means to be single, I thought somebody lied. Oh yes, sir, and I learned how to buy my own box of chocolates. Facts I learned how to get dressed up and just chill in my own house. You know, whatever it was that I needed to do for me to just appreciate who I am, did you go out to eat by yourself before? Just one time, one time.

Speaker 1: 25:27

Okay.

Speaker 2: 25:28

And that was recently.

Speaker 1: 25:31

No, that can't be the only time right.

Speaker 2: 25:32

Yeah, that's the only time I went to Chicken Salad Chick, and the only reason I ended up doing that by myself is because I was supposed to meet somebody?

Speaker 1: 25:44

there.

Speaker 2: 25:44

They went to the wrong one. Wow, but that was because I lived in a box and I didn't know how to do anything by myself. I would think about well, if I buy something, then I'm going to cook later, or Yusuf has already cooked, so we're going to eat together. And so I always thought like that, you know, because that was a pattern that was set growing up, you know. And now it's like okay, yusuf is out, he's doing something, he's doing ministry, or he's out with the guys or whatever. You know, I can grab something and I don't feel bad about it, you know, because I know that I have to take care of me, you know, and he's going to take care of him, and if we need to do something at home, we will. But I had to get past that. But being single, like you said, you know that one thing that people said singleness was it's not that I think, it's all about changing our mind. That's good how we think what you know, like you said about that, um, better half a lot of times.

Speaker 2: 26:50

The way I grew up, better half was like supposed to be a compliment okay to the other person, but maybe then you kind of belittling yourself and calling them the better half, you know, so that's kind of like that, that little um mindset that need to be changed about being single. You know that you're gonna, um, gonna be miserable, you know, and you're not. And, like you said, better half and you're not, you know.

Speaker 1: 27:23

It's the story of Naomi and Ruth coming to mind for me, and I feel like it's kind of a bit of a shift with this, because, naomi, if you haven't heard her story in the book of Ruth, it's only four chapters, so a really quick read. But Naomi's husband died and her two sons died, and all that she was left with was her two daughter-in-laws, who decided to go back to her country and to her gods, which is specifically what happened. The other one said and made a vow to her that wherever you go, I go. Where you live, I live. Where you die, I die. Your God will be my God. And she made a vow to her. Her name was Ruth and she stayed with her.

Speaker 1: 28:00

What I think about in this? I was thinking about Naomi so much I forgot all about Ruth. Ruth was single too. Not only did Naomi's husband die, but Ruth's husband died as well, and so as single as Naomi was, ruth was just as single, and this is just.

Speaker 1: 28:19

I hope this is an encouragement to all of the sisters out here. I guess it applies to the men. It can be applicable, but you have purpose. Even in your singleness, you can serve somebody. Even in your singleness, you can help, support and encourage somebody, help them through hard times, even in your singleness. It's not a death sentence. It's not for you to sit around and be depressed and feel sorry for yourself, like you don't have a purpose. You have a purpose, and the more that you serve that's why I talk about volunteering and serving an organization and giving back to your community the more that you serve, the more that you personally develop you and spiritually develop yourself, the better it is for the people whose lives you're still a part of or whose lives you're going to be a part of.

Speaker 1: 29:01

If Ruth had took the attitude that a lot of single folks that I know have right now, naomi would be all messed up. She'd have been like you know what I heard, what you said Ruth, get going, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't fool with you. That's that's what Naomi would say in in my back. She, naomi, wouldn't want to fool with her because this is too much for me. You bring in something. I got to drop me in my life already. I'm about to change my name tomorrow because I feel like God's been bitter against me. I don't need no extra. You know what I'm saying. And she would send Ruth packing. But she didn't do that. But she could have done that if Ruth had the wrong attitude, if Ruth didn't look at it like you know what I bring value to you, you bring value to me and seeing yourself, like we said earlier, by having value.

Speaker 1: 29:44

And who's assessing the value? My previous question Hopefully you're letting God assess the value of who you are as a person and not your circumstances. Your circumstances will tell you all kinds of stuff and you'll be feeling like you ain't worth anything. Circumstances to tell you all kinds of stuff and you'll be feeling like you ain't worth anything. If you watch too much TV and too many movies and listen to too many so-called friends, you'll really be all messed up because that idea of value is horrible, it's from a fleshly worldly standpoint and it's not good for anything. There's no value in that assessment of value. So it's just something to think about. But what did you learn about you as you were single and getting ready to enter into marriage? What did you learn about yourself?

Speaker 2: 30:25

Wow, that's a big question. I learned that there was still work that needed to be done Okay, I saw the person who wasn't feeling like I was rescuing them to be done. I saw the person who wasn't feeling like I was rescuing them, but that we were coming together to do ministry and to do life together. Then we were able to work with one another in our journey. There were things that we worked through. I would would pray and you would cry, and then you would pray and I would hey, you ain't gotta tell anybody all my business but that's what we were able to do in marriage.

Speaker 2: 31:11

You know, um, that's been a blessing, you know, to see us grow together and develop some, some unity in the things of God that's sustaining, you know. I don't know if I answered your question.

Speaker 1: 31:29

I think you did. You tell me what you learned I mean for me, what I learned about, and I answer, maybe to help out a little bit too. What I learned was the sacrificial part. I mean, being single is one thing. Being single in New York I feel like it's just. I feel like it's different.

Speaker 1: 31:44

And I was single in New York and the mindset of the environment that I was in played a big part and I really felt like I was, like I had to be fiercely independent and worry about myself and let everybody else figure their own stuff out. And you know, I feel like I was a generous person, but when I left that territory I was way more generous than I ever been in my entire life. When I left out of that area, I feel like being single. I learned about the sacrificial part, how much I needed to learn how to give and invest and so on to other people, even if there's no benefit or gain for me. Nothing reciprocated back to me, but I still do it. I think it's a tough part that people struggle with. I'm sure people who listen to this show probably struggle with that in their own lives. They don't want to give stuff out because they feel like you know what, what if I don't get it back? Yeah, what if I don't?

Speaker 2: 32:39

get it back. Yeah, what if you don't? I think we give all the time you know, especially if you have children, Especially if you have, you know, anybody else in your life. You always giving, whether, excuse me, whether it's a word of encouragement, whether it's giving of your time just to listen. You're always giving and sometimes we don't get back. You know, the same thing that we give out, but that thing that we get back, it might be valuable and it might be what we needed.

Speaker 1: 33:07

No doubt we don't always get what we get back. But to all our single folks out there, we want to encourage you, guys. Don't don't be discouraged by the fact that you're single. No, don't be discouraged by the fact that you're single. Your time is coming. Take this time to develop you, to grow you. To be honest with you, this is something that is very rare.

Speaker 1: 33:26

I know a lot of folks who are married. They would love to have some time to develop themselves and to be able to grow themselves and read and relax, but their life goes at such a fast pace they don't even get a chance to enjoy that. So just kind of look at the other side of the coin. Take advantage of the opportunity to be separate and unique and learn how to be a whole person in Christ. It's going to matter to you. So if they say table for one, table for one, don't be ashamed about that. Table for one. Go ahead and take a table for one. Don't be ashamed, don, and tear the table for one. Don't be ashamed, don't worry about you know being alone. Eat whatever you're going to eat, smile and enjoy you. You only get one, you.

Speaker 1: 34:05

That's what it's all about, you get that one life exactly, and the best you can be is the best person you can be for everybody else that you're connecting with, so just enjoy that. Thanks for listening to the Chase Ray and the His and Hers Podcast.