Inspiration Station: What If Your Best Friend Was A .......?

We dive into the complexities of relationships and self-awareness, questioning how well we know the people we care about. The conversation explores the importance of thoroughly vetting friends and recognizing the subtle changes that occur over time.  
• Exploring the concept of hidden identities in relationships  
• Discussing Dr. Robb D. Thompson's insights on vetting relationships  
• Acknowledging the reality of people changing without informing others  
• Examining the blind spots in understanding our loved ones  
• Encouragement to pay attention to the details of our connections  
• Reflection on how to treat ourselves and others when faced with honesty challenges  
• Emphasizing the importance of open dialogues in relationships

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Thank you very much. Welcome back to the All Purpose Pod for an all-purpose life. Wherever you are and however you're listening to, the Call Me, mr you and the Inspiration Station. Thank you for making us part of your week. We really appreciate it. Thank you for joining us and for spending some little time with us today. I know that there's been a lot of episodes going out and we've been hearing from you in the comments about all those interesting concepts and thoughts that have been being put out through the Inspiration Station. Thank you for indulging us.

Speaker 1: 1:06

You know I have some weird thoughts sometimes. I don't, to be honest. I'm not trying to make myself unique or elevate myself above anybody else, but I think a little differently than people around me. I think about things that most folks around me don't even care about. It's what I think about. I spend time pondering these ideas and these concepts and evaluate myself in the process, and this episode is just another example of the strange things that I think about. But I think if you burrow down a little bit deeper and you know my heart, you know where I'm coming from with this and it will make sense in the end.

Speaker 1: 1:50

I entitled this episode what If your Best Friend Was a Dot Dot Dot. Excuse me, what does that mean? Well, there are plenty of movies and TVs for context to this conversation. We seem depicted there and we kind of just chalk it up to being fantasy make-believe. But what if your best friend was a blank, somebody that you didn't realize they were? I watch I don't watch a lot of TV, but I do and I have, I've had grown up watching plenty of it, as most of you probably have and you see these situations played out. I mean Lifetime and BET are making a fortune off of movies just like this, where people find out that their best friend is somebody they didn't realize they were. They could be a stalker, a stranger. In some ways they could be something, even ugly. They could be, excuse me, a pedophile, a polytheist, an unfaithful spouse, a thief, a spy working for a foreign government. I mean I've seen all kinds of examples and we chalk it up as being entertainment and we walk away half-naked and thinking about the ramifications of that in our own lives and we just kind of move on. But to me, I think about that a little bit more deeply because I want to understand my process in developing relationships.

Speaker 1: 3:30

There's an awesome book that I've touted on this podcast many times over the past four plus seasons. It's a book by a gentleman named Dr Rob D Thompson. It's called the Ten Critical Laws of Relationship. It's a fantastic book. Even if you're not in a relationship, it'll prepare you for it very well. If you are in one and you're having some struggles, it'll help you out with some of that. If you're going smooth and everything is perfect in your relationship, the book will still be a blessing to you. So check it out the Ten Critical Laws of Relationship by Rob D Thompson. If you can't find it, I'm happy to help you. Send me a message. I'll send you a picture or a screenshot so you can kind of find out where to find me on Amazon or wherever you get your books. But one of the biggest concepts in the book it's a nice size book but you never be bored. It's very insightful.

Speaker 1: 4:24

But one of the concepts in the book it talks about properly vetting somebody in relationships. You know that's the kind of thing that we don't really do a lot. If you go to get a loan at a bank, they're going to vet you. They're going to look at your whole life. If you decide to potentially work for the government, which I know from experience. You're going to fill out a truckload of paperwork that I know from experience. You're going to fill out a truckload of paperwork Basically going to vet you in every area of your life, who you know, who you associate with, where your family is from, who they know.

Speaker 1: 4:52

It gets really, really intense, but that's a process of vetting when it comes to relationships for us. We don't vet as well. We don't vet as much. We accept some things kind of know On credit, so to speak. We don't Need to assume the worst in every situation. However, we gotta recognize that People are complex individuals and we need to recognize that. To invite A complex individual into our Complexities, it could be a powder keg If not managed correctly.

Speaker 1: 5:28

Excuse me, but the reality is, in relationships especially, people change their minds. They go in with one mindset and they say you know what, at a certain amount of time yeah, this is not what I thought I'm out People change their minds. It's just a reality. And even a deeper, more complex reality is people reassess and reevaluate and they never inform you about it. They change their minds and they never inform you about it. They change their minds and they move on and you still think they're in the same place, in the same position. They're already gone. They've already decided against the idea of doing this thing with you. People change their minds. People reassess and re-evaluate without informing you. People are just complex. Evaluate without informing you. People are just complex and I believe that, generally speaking, we're blinded to realities.

Speaker 1: 6:26

We're blinded to the realities in our life. When I watch movies and TV shows like the kind that I described earlier on, I'm like in my mind I think you do the same thing as well. You're probably all guilty of it too. You're sitting there like how did he not know that she was a serial killer? How did she not know that he was a foreign spy? How could they not tell he goes away on business for weeks at a time and all you know is that he works a desk job and you have no idea that this person is a spy. How do they not know that this person has these kind of uh, wicked thoughts and inclinations and and they do all these things to people how do you not know that this person, who I've loved for all these years, who I gave my life, has been unfaithful? Excuse me, how do you not know and that's a deeper conversation.

Speaker 1: 7:23

But what I'm trying to get to here is that we should be blinded to the realities of what's going on right in our own lives, in our own homes. I know people and these are actually friends of mine we talk about it to some degree and some friends are not open to have that kind of discussion, and that's fair. But they got people who are so busy with their work, so busy with their mission, they don't even realize that their spouse is hurting, and got a few feet out of the door almost to leave them and they have no idea. They're so caught up in what they're doing they don't realize that people in their own lives, at their own dinner table, are suffering. They can't even see it because they're blinded to the realities, because of the preponderance of stuff they got going on in their life, all the things that they're concerned about, that only matter to them. They have no idea that people who are closest to them are hurting, or people who are closest to them are in some way compromised, or perhaps they're going in a direction that is definitely detrimental for your family, but you can't even see it because of where you are.

Speaker 1: 8:35

Let's be honest your best friend might be fantastic. Your best friend might be the best thing since sliced bread, but it's not everybody's situation. If you know somebody who may value this episode, send it to them, share it with them. But what if your best friend was a dot dot dot? If they weren't who they purported themselves to be? What if your best friend is not what you thought they were? And they change positions On the front end when it comes to starting a relationship, like the book Chain Critical Laws of Relationship talks about.

Speaker 1: 9:12

You definitely want to properly vet people before you allow them into your life, into your heart, into your atmosphere. You got to decide what the vetting process looks like. But at the same time, there are stages and levels to this relationship thing and you can't walk in blind and be blinded by for lack of a better word what you want in life Because you miss the details right in the front of you. You miss the keys Like an old detective I used to watch him to do always say there's always clues. There's always clues.

Speaker 1: 9:48

I'm not saying your thoughts is unfaithful. I'm not saying your best friend is some kind of evil worker. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that we need to be aware and alert to what's going on in our own lives. We can't be blind to what's taking place around us because we're so busy or, in some cases, because we don't want to know or deal with the reality of situations. We're in a place in the ministry where we have to deal with counseling and some things that we hear from couples and people who are in long-time marital relationships and we hear things that imply that you know what you've been going through this marriage and this relationship for so long and had no idea that all these years this was going on with your spouse. That's kind of powerful.

Speaker 1: 10:38

Why we're having this episode today? Because you can miss it. You're not too good to miss it. You're not too great and too beautiful that you can miss this. You can miss this. It can happen to anybody. Is my whole point to all of this stuff.

Speaker 1: 10:51

And here's a crazier point what if you were that friend that wasn't what you originally advertised, what you originally represented? What in what you originally advertised, what you originally represented? What if the moral code that you presented yourself to the other person in relationship isn't what you actually live by? What if your morals are a little bit shaky? What if you're that best friend, that's not who you say you are. How would you like to be treated, is my final question to you, if you're that person who kind of stepped out of pocket and you have not been who you said you're supposed to be and you're not happy about it and you want to change that? How would you want to be treated upon the revelation of that truth? How would you want to be treated?

Speaker 1: 11:36

There's a chance that you're missing something that's going on in your relationships. I don't mean just the intimate relationships, I mean the friendships, the associations, the business partnerships. You'll be missing something the ministry efforts you're doing with somebody else, ministry with you. You could be missing something. Start paying attention. Eyes up, eyes up. Start paying attention. Look at what's going on. Don't be so busy. You don't have time to reflect, to pay attention to the details. Pay attention, look at what's going on around you.

Speaker 1: 12:10

Ask questions. Don't assume that everything is good. Ask questions, be insightful, dig a little deeper. You may find that there's a problem that could be solved before it gets 10, 20, 30 years down the line. Ask me how I know Wherever you are and however you're listening to the Call Me, mr U and the Inspiration Station. Thanks again for making us a part of your week. Have a great day. Any questions or comments for me? Send those, please, through the comments section, wherever you can find this video podcast and, of course, if you are listening audio, only when you go in there's a link that says fan mail. Click on that. Send the questions to me. I'll respond during our next episode. No problem there. Have a great day. Thanks for listening to us. Enjoy the music we're out.