TCMMY His & Hers Podcast: The Power and Purpose of Accountability

Have you ever truly pondered whether you want to be held accountable for your actions and commitments, or does the idea of accountability feel more like a burden than a blessing? Join Mr. Yu and the Queen as they unravel this complex question and more in our latest episode." Inspired by the teachings of our mentor, Dr. Myles Monroe, we navigate the nuanced world of accountability partnerships. From financial savings to personal relationships, we reflect on how our shifting priorities can sometimes lead us astray from our initial commitments. 

The latest podcast episode explores the true nature of accountability partnerships and the often-overlooked importance of integrity in commitments. We discuss the shared responsibilities, challenges, and deeper meanings behind effective partnerships that require mutual respect and understanding.

• The concept of partnership and its significance  
• Accountability as a shared responsibility in relationships  
• Consequences of viewing commitment as optional  
• Personal anecdotes and analogies illustrating commitment issues  
• The necessity of having a clear understanding of the partnership’s purpose  
• The power of agreement in achieving common goals  
• The role of integrity in maintaining trust and accountability  
• Call for introspection on personal commitment and values

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Chapters

• 0:25 Redefining Accountability Partnerships
• 13:34 The Importance of Accountability Partnerships
• 25:34 Honoring Words in Podcast Community

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:25

Welcome back to the Call Me Mr U and His and Hers podcast. I'm your host, mr U. The queen is in the house. Hello, everyone, great to get back in tune with you guys again to throw another awesome episode your way. We hope you enjoy it. We're excited about it.

Speaker 1: 0:44

Uh, you know, what we're noticing in a lot of these episodes is that we're getting a lot of responses from people from all walks of life, and it's ultimately what we want. Uh, you know, we got single people who are really vibing with our episodes. We got married couples that are really digging it. We're just excited about all the people who are touched by these topics that I think are relevant to many different people, different genres, and we're just excited about how it's been going, excited to be able to do this with you. This is pretty awesome. It's been a long time goal. It's good to have us flowing a little bit. We did not have an episode for January you may have noticed that so we're going to be doubling up for the month of February to make sure that we stay on track and keep providing the kind of content that we think you've grown accustomed to us doing. So pretty excited about that. Excuse me, we want to talk a bit about partnership today. Hopefully we can do that. Excuse me, we want to talk a little bit about partnership today. Hopefully we can do that.

Speaker 1: 1:48

I laugh at this topic because every once in a while it's pretty frequent, so it's probably more than once. In spiritual circles, men's groups, women's groups, mentoring and coaching circles, it's a pretty common phrase accountability partnership but I'm starting to wonder if we need to question what that actually means, because in most cases, nobody in particular comes to mind. For me specifically, this has happened so many times that I think I'm starting to lose count. But I think people want to want the idea of accountability partnerships as long as it doesn't infringe too much on their personal time and doesn't cause them to have to make too many sacrifices, and I'm wondering if we really understand what partnership and or an accountability partnership actually means. Have you seen, queen? Have you seen some of those same kind of issues with the idea of accountability partnership?

Speaker 2: 3:05

Yes, I have. I've seen it in a lot of different areas. I think more with people who are believers or people that you know I'm around that go to church. They want someone to help them stay on task. Okay, church, they want someone to help them stay on task. Okay, and I think it's because the cares of life and our busy schedules we put those in a priority pile, at the top of it, instead of the things or relationship with God Okay.

Speaker 2: 3:43

And I've been guilty of that. I think we all have to some degree. But when we notice it, then that's when we do our change or our shift to do something different and change our schedules and how we do things.

Speaker 1: 3:59

Okay, I think I can see a good bit of that too. I kind of just feel like in any kind we're talking about partnership that's kind of the title of this episode, but really anytime we're talking about any kind of ship and we discussed this in previous episodes whether it's a partnership, a fellowship, a sonship, a relationship, it always takes more than just one person. It takes two people in agreement, maybe perhaps sharing common values, but two people going in the same direction to accomplish a specific goal. And it feels like to me the idea of partnership and accountability is optional for some and mandatory for others, and it can both be in the same ship as it will, and it's like that just can't work. You can't have that kind of arrangement and agreement and you have one person who sees it as an optional thing.

Speaker 1: 5:00

If I feel like doing it today, I'll do it today. If I feel like showing up for this, I'll show up thing. If I feel like doing it today, I'll do it today. If I feel like showing up for this, I'll show up. Otherwise, I'm deciding. No matter what we agree, I'm going to decide whether the contract, the arrangement that we came to, is enforceable or not, and we just decide arbitrarily to not do our parts. I think that's challenging.

Speaker 2: 5:21

Yeah, it made me think about when I was younger, much younger. All right, I had opened an account and it was a savings account but I kept taking money out of it.

Speaker 2: 5:36

And so I started getting these penalties. And when I got the penalties I went to the bank and I'm like, why do I have to pay these fees? And they said why do you have a savings? And I didn't think about it. And they said why did you open this account? What was your reason, what was the cause of you to take it out and what was the motive of even getting it from the beginning and it just made me think about of even getting it from the beginning.

Speaker 2: 6:03

And it just made me think about okay, we start these accounts whether it's the accountability partners or the friendships and the connections with people but do we want to be held accountable in what we have opened up? Is that really where our heart is? And it made me think about that account when I wasn't doing what I first initially said that this is what this was for. I started using it or I neglected it, you know, and I think that that made me think about had with that account. But it made me think about what we build in our life with people, with being accountable to people and people being accountable to us. We want what we give out, or we want even more than we give out, so that we can change and be better. So what?

Speaker 2: 6:58

are we willing to give you know, in order to build this account up, our accountability, our relationship, our friendship, our connections Right.

Speaker 1: 7:09

I love that. I love that it reminds me of our dearly departed mentor, Dr Miles Monroe. I quote him so much on this show, but his words are always so impactful. His books and his materials they were always so impactful. The teachings, they were just life changing for us.

Speaker 1: 7:26

But something you said there about the account made me think about a quote that he loved to share, and he would always say that when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. If you don't know why you something should be used or how it should be used, you're guaranteed to abuse it. If you order something online and it comes in a box with instructions excuse me, not following those instructions is going to have disastrous results. You probably want to damage it or you love it to a point where it shouldn't be used and you find yourself having an unusable object and it won't fulfill the point of why it was made, why it was manufactured. And when you talk about that account, that's what comes to mind for me If you don't know why you have a savings account, if you don't know why you're endeavoring to step into this kind of relationship, business wise, then you're going to abuse it and you're going to waste your money and you're going to end up losing out and not fulfilling the whole point. I think it's the same thing with partnership. You know, we we talk about something like partnerships and relationships and every other ship, and we don't take into account that it requires agreement from us. The power of agreement is so powerful. If you read the word of God, you'll see it. The power of agreement is so powerful that God responds to your agreement. Excuse me If you say you know what, if two people agree on an issue, on a matter, you know what we're going forward to do this specific thing. The Bible says that God will honor what they go forth to do. That tells you something about the power of agreement.

Speaker 1: 9:05

I mean, look at Genesis, chapter 11, with the Tower of Babel, the situation was messed up. But look at what was going on. They had the wrong intention for why they wanted to build a tower. They wanted to reach heaven so that they can kind of establish their own kingdom and not be a party to the kingdom that was going on on the earth around them. They wanted their own thing. They wanted to have their own name in lights, so to speak. But even though the motive was jacked up. They came in agreement and were nearly successful in their goal. They would build a tower that was almost so high they would get ready to crack the heavenlies, and God dealt with that. If you read Genesis 11, you see how he dealt with it, how he confounded the language. But the bottom line is that agreement can take you places that you could never go on your own.

Speaker 1: 9:51

So it's because of those kind of ideas that made me think why do we talk about accountability, partnerships and stuff and not fully invest in the partnership? That means being there in the thick and thin of it. Those kind of words are just lost. These days. People talk about thick and thin and loyalty. Those things don't seem to be a part of the world that we live in. It feels like, and those that do carry it are usually from a different generation and they're holding on for dear life to maintain the values and the morals and the standards that we grew up following, Like honoring your word and being a person of integrity and sticking out through thick and thin and not giving up at the first sign of trouble. Those are the kind of things that the generation that we're in now don't seem to really get but you can't enter into a partnership, accountability or otherwise, and not understand you're going to have staying power. You've got to see this thing all the way through. You've got to walk this thing out. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 10:52

Yes, it made me think about something we read a few years ago, and it was talking about how many people join a gym.

Speaker 1: 11:00

Oh Lord, I'm going to take a drink of water on that gym, Michael.

Speaker 2: 11:05

And so one of the guys said why do you want to invest in having a gym for someone to come to? He said that's the easiest way to make money, he said because people want to look good on paper and so they sign up, but they might never step in the gym. He said I've had clients that have been a member for 10 years and have never seen the inside of the gym.

Speaker 1: 11:32

Wow.

Speaker 2: 11:33

So that's just free money that he's getting. And you think about that commitment. You signed up for it If your insurance company was to require that you have some kind of exercise. You look good on paper, but if I saw you in person, or if you saw me in person when I had a membership, did I go Sometime. But that makes a lot of sense. We can even say things, but we can't hold true to our word. Like you said, where's the accountability? Where is the sticking to it and being a man or a woman of our word? You know, yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:59

It is a real twisted concept of partnership. I hope that all you guys that are listening to this episode that you get what we're talking about, Because, even if it stings a little bit, if it kind of crunches on some toes, you got to catch this, because the concept of partnership is twisted and you can't use today's vernacular, today's ideals, to define what partnership is, because it's not what your mom and dad grew up on, it's not what your grandparents grew up on, even your great-grandparents and even those before them. It's not the same thing. Like I said earlier, it's optional to people. People decide whether they want to do it or not, how they feel. Their emotions are essentially king in their life and they decide if they want to do it or not. And it's not even about the covenant or the commitment that they made.

Speaker 1: 13:52

And we see that in every area, every walk of life, People break in agreements, People break in covenant, People change in their minds and the other person in the agreement don't even know that they changed their mind. And you sit out here still working and laboring under the same agreement, under the same assumption that you know what we're in this together. Other person stopped working. You don't even know. Wait a minute, you still in this? No, I quit that long time ago. What you didn't even know, that they already bailed out and you still sit here working. You know good Partnership at its very core is defined as the shared responsibility. What that basically means I don't care if it's a business, ministry, organization friendship, whatever it is, marriage, whatever it is. Organization friendship, whatever it is, Marriage, whatever it is that means you share the work, you share the struggles, you share the losses and you share the gains.

Speaker 2: 14:42

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.

Speaker 1: 14:45

You share the work, you share the struggles, you share the losses and you share the gains. It's a shared responsibility. So I don't know if People want to get into this and get real deep, but I think we might need to talk about it a little bit Because, even though we're crunching toes already, probably people might already be cutting us off already. But the truth is that we have to look at how much our word, you know, how much our word weighs, and does your word matter? Ask yourself, if you're listening to that today, wherever you are listening, does your word count? Are you the kind of person that says you know what, I'm sorry, I forgot, and the person you put the meat with is sitting at the coffee shop for an hour and 45 minutes and you are just getting there because, after a repeated call, you finally decided to show up for an appointment? Does your word matter If you say I'm going to call you at three o'clock and the call never happens until months later? Does your word matter? Does your word hold weight? How much does your word weigh? You got to ask yourself that question because before you get into any kind of partnership, any kind of relationship, fellowship or any other kind of ship. You have to have some kind of integrity in your word, because people are counting on that.

Speaker 1: 16:02

People go to banks and financial institutions and they go to gyms and they sign their name on these agreements, and that's a part of the world that we live in, that's a part of our code, our standard. We have these lines, these signature lines, over everything, anything that we're trying to accomplish. You want to buy something of note, or you want to buy land or property or be a shareholder, or you want to own a hotel or anything like that. That signature line is there everywhere. It's part of the contract, it's part of the agreements. When you sign your name on it, you say you know what I certify. I, however, you sign your name, I certify that I am in agreement with this and I'm going to do this, this, this, and that you know for the duration of this agreement period, however long that is, five years, ten years, or as long as the business is active, or as long as the business is active, or as long as the organization is active.

Speaker 1: 17:00

And we don't understand that part. We kind of just blow it off like it's nothing. I mean, I have so many, I'm sure you have plenty. So I have so many accountability partnerships that I started with people and they walked past me today like we didn't have nothing. They forgot to show up to the meeting and it's been like six months. I'm like, are we going to talk about this? That you disappeared for six months? See, honestly, this is going to sound rough, but I got to say this anyhow.

Speaker 1: 17:30

It don't even matter if you're dealing with something that amount of time and no response, no, nothing. That ain't lining up. You're lacking integrity somewhere in all of this stuff and you can't say I'm afraid to talk, because you see me all the time. You should be able to say you know what. I didn't think through, what it would cost me to be a part of this relationship. So I need to step back. I need to do me, take care of some stuff. Okay, that's fine, I respect that. You should not waste six months of my time we sitting here walking around like, hey, what's up, what's good, what's good? Handshakes and daps. I'm like, bro, we got unresolved issues. I'm still waiting for you to show up to the Zoom call, and it's been like six months and I've been sending messages. Are we going to talk about that or are we going to just pretend it never happened? Accountability partnerships require shared responsibility.

Speaker 2: 18:30

Yes, it does. You know, like you said, they didn't count up the costs and sometimes we don't and we just say yes because it sounds good on the cost. And sometimes we don't and we just say yes because it sounds good on the surface and we don't think about how deep that thing goes. You know, like I have to show up, I gotta be accountable, I have to be present, yeah, you know, and sometimes we're not present and we are learning as we grow. You know, I think about high school students. You know they have to be accountable because there is laws that they have to attend school, so that's why they show up.

Speaker 2: 19:08

So once they get their first job, are they going to do as good as showing up to that job as they were doing at school, because that was their choice to go get this job? If they wasn't made to get it or had to get it, you know so they decide oh, I don't feel like going in today, you know. Or, um, I wish they wouldn't put me on the schedule, because other things become more important if they don't have to pay that bill. They just wanted that job so they can buy some new kicks, you know?

Speaker 2: 19:41

Wow, so you know, I think we have gotten away from a lot of things that are standards and rules and morals that we need to walk in in order to be able to be accountable to anybody, even ourselves that's good you know we'll even like to ourselves. You know I'm not gonna eat water to be able to be accountable to anybody, even ourselves. That's good. You know we'll even lie to ourselves. You know I'm not going to eat this piece of cake.

Speaker 1: 20:04

I'm not going to eat this cake, oh Lord, I hear more toes. I hear more toes out here, crunching out here.

Speaker 2: 20:09

Even my toes are crunching.

Speaker 1: 20:10

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2: 20:12

I'm not going to eat this, but then I end up eating it anyway. So if I'm doing that to myself and lying to myself, what make me think that I won't do that to another person? It's just like me buying something and hiding it in the trunk when we have agreed that I'm not gonna spend money gosh, I said yeah people do that though but I tell on myself. I thank god that I do. I'd be like you said. I spent some money and I'm going to do better. I'm going to do better.

Speaker 1: 20:43

I'm trying my pockets.

Speaker 2: 20:46

But no, you know, like you said, you know we have to count up the costs.

Speaker 1: 20:50

No, no question. I mean. The Bible talks about that. Before you enter into a battle or a big endeavor, weigh everything, think it through and decide, and that's one thing. That well, it's not because I'm so wise or so smart, but that passage of scripture is how I deal with every single new arrangement.

Speaker 1: 21:10

Before we get into this, this is what's going to happen. I tell people that in very great detail. They may not want to hear all the time because it might be too wordy, too much information, but I want them to know before we go into this realm, before we step into this ship, this relationship, this fellowship, this partnership, before we get into this. This is what's going to happen. This is what's required. You got to follow up. You got to be transparent. If we're going to be sharing our life, you got to follow up. You got to be transparent If we're going to be sharing our life, you got to be transparent. And you got to show up. You got to be available. Tell him in the beginning, say can you do that? And everyone to a man has the same answer every single time oh yeah, no doubt, absolutely. And then that six months shows up and I can't find out where they're at, but I think it's funny because there's a passage. I'm going to read it real quick. It's real quick.

Speaker 1: 22:04

It's Isaiah 55, 55th chapter. Excuse me, isaiah 55, verse 10 through 11. I want you to hear this and don't get caught up in in who was talking about. I want you to just understand the concept and the standard. But this is about. This is coming from God himself. I want you to hear what he's saying here. Verse 10 says this is Isaiah 55, verse 10. It says for just as rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return there without saturating the earth and making it germinate and sprout and providing seed to sow and food to eat, so my word that comes from my mouth will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do. Hear that he's using agricultural terms there, but hear that that's the power of his word. That means wherever his word goes, it's going to do what it's sent to do. We can go ahead and try to separate ourselves from this and say oh, that's God, that's not me. I don't have the ability or the capacity to do that. But this is the standards being set, in my opinion, and I know this also because in Psalms, the 15th chapter, verse 4, it talks about how we're instructed to swear to our own hurt and change. Not If you promise something, you don't change your mind because you don't feel like doing it anymore.

Speaker 1: 23:33

You honor your commitment If you told that old lady, that widow around the corner, you can come and help her with a cabinet or help her clean her backyard. She's counting on you. She doesn't have anybody else. So if you say you're going to go and help her on such and such a date, you got to show up, even on time, but early and be there to help her get that done and honor your commitment. How you feel about the situation ain't relevant. If your friend pops up with a better idea, an idea that's more fun, at the same time you promise this widow you would help her. That's irrelevant.

Speaker 1: 24:08

The bottom line is that your words should matter, it should mean something, and I think, at the end of the day, you can't have a partnership or a relationship of any kind if your word isn't something that the other person can rely on. So I think it's time for us to check ourselves and think about that. Think about where you are in your life, your spiritual growth, your integrity level, before you enter into any kind of agreement. I don't care if I'm going to be a part of this Facebook group, I don't care what it is, if you can't be trusted. If you don't feel like you can be trusted, don't say yes. You don't have to explain why it's a no, just say no and keep on working on yourself until you feel like you can get to the place where people can trust you with all you got going on in your life. Trust you to manage your situation and still uphold the values you say you uphold and show up when it's time to show up.

Speaker 2: 25:01

Yes, it made me think about one thing. We used to say a lot Be a winner on the team and be a part of the team so that we can win together and not just someone that is being a heavyweight and the rest of the team got to drag you. We got to show up.

Speaker 1: 25:21

I love it. Well, I hope this made some difference in your life somewhere, in some small way, but we're definitely excited about being at this place where we can share this with you. Think about it your word has a whole weight. Your word has to matter. So, wherever you are and however you're listening to the Call Me, mr U and the Hits and Hurts podcast, thanks again for making us a part of your week. Thanks for listening on this. If you have any questions, drop them in the comments. Wherever you find this episode, we'd love to hear your thoughts on that and we definitely are going to practice what we preach. So, if you're going to come in agreement, be honorable and have integrity. Have a great day and thanks again for listening to Mr you and the Queen.

Speaker 2: 26:04

Bye-bye, thank you.