Mista Yu on the Driven 2 Thrive Broadcast: "Beyond The American Dream"

Never stop seeking your purpose - that's the most critical lesson about purpose. The most distressed and distraught people are those who have stopped looking, settling into careers or talents while something dies inside them.

• The richest place in the world is the graveyard, filled with unwritten books and unrealized ideas
• Finding purpose requires ongoing self-reflection and evaluation
• Most men struggle with connection, being physically present but emotionally isolated
• There's a crucial difference between passion (which burns out) and purpose (which sustains)
• The "American Dream" should be a stepping stone to purpose, not the final destination
• Men need to assess their history, understand their motivations, and commit to authentic change
• Community is essential for finding purpose - men cannot successfully navigate this journey alone
• Everyone's ultimate purpose may be the same, though our paths to it differ greatly
• Self-reflection through journaling, reading, or spiritual practices creates space for purpose discovery
• Your gifts aren't just for your fulfillment but could impact generations to come

Follow Mista Yu here: https://theycallmemistayu.buzzsprout.com and find all the episodes from our podcast brand.

Driven 2 Thrive Social Media Channels: 

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     • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thefallibleman

     • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Drive2ThriveBroadcast

     • Rumble: https://rumble.com/c/Driven2Thrive

Brent Dowlen Social Media Channels:

     • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/davidbdowlen/

     • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-b-dowlen/

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Most Profound Lesson About Purpose
• 6:13 Understanding True Purpose vs Common Misconceptions
• 15:16 Yusuf Marshall's Personal Purpose Journey
• 25:51 Men's Need for Self-Reflection
• 35:47 Distinguishing Passion From Purpose
• 44:16 Finding Purpose While Meeting Life's Responsibilities
• 56:38 Three Steps To Begin Your Purpose Journey
• 1:12:04 Community: The Key To Purpose Discovery

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:19

Mr Yu, right off the bat, what's the most profound lesson you've been taught about purpose?

Speaker 2: 0:27

Most profound lesson regarding purpose Never stop seeking it. Everybody that I have a conversation with about purpose and it's really been nearly almost a 30-year journey in this, where I talk about this particular topic on multiple occasions everywhere it seems like the people who are the most distressed and the most distraught are the ones that have stopped looking. They kind of settle into their careers or some particular talent they have and say, oh, this must be it, this must be what's going to make me viable and relevant. But when you stop seeking, something kind of dies inside. So my lesson, I think, is never stop seeking it. It may not be what we thought it was, it may be something so minuscule and so subtle that we don't realize that it's that, but always keep seeking and never settle in for what the world around us offers. So this might be the biggest lesson for me regarding purpose.

Speaker 1: 1:36

There's a lot of debate and confusion around the topic of purpose. In fact, one of the few things people agree on is that life is much better when you live with a purpose. Maybe you haven't thought on your purpose much. Maybe you aren't quite sure what your purpose is. There's a lot of people in that boat. Actually, A lot of people think you have one God-given purpose and you'll eventually discover it. Just think about the story of Noah building a boat for years and years and years and people making fun of him because no one understood what he was doing or what this huge thing was or why you would need it until it started to rain, Kind of like that. Some people think you create your own purpose. But what if none of that is right? I mean, that's why you're here talking about purpose, because you're not really sure. I think you have a gift.

Speaker 1: 2:28

I think you have a gift that you can use to serve a purpose. Now I talk about purpose a lot here on this podcast, but what if? I'm wrong, what if? Well, today we're talking to Yusuf Marshall, aka the incredible Mr you, who has been talking about men and purpose longer than I have even, and Yusuf has a slightly different take than even I have, and since he's been talking to men about it a lot longer than I have.

Speaker 1: 3:02

I thought it would be valuable for you guys, for us to deep dive into men and purpose together with someone who's been talking about us even longer than I have, so you can get his point of view as well as mine.

Speaker 1: 3:14

We're going to get to know Mr you a little bit, and then we're going to deep dive into men and purpose right after this word from our sponsor, gents, as you know, our friend Mike Lindell has a passion to help everyone get the best sleep of their life. He didn't stop by simply creating the very best pillow in the world. Mike created the best bed sheets ever. They look and feel great, which means an even better night's sleep for me and for you, which is crucial for that busy schedule. Mike is offering the best deal on his Giza dream bed sheets that he's ever offered Any size, any color, just $49.98. That's right. You can get Queens Kings, split Kings or even Cow Kings any size, any color $49.98. Or now, because they're going to be gone. Quick guys. They are selling out fast.

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Speaker 3: 5:07

promo code thrive for our listeners, or now, because when they're gone, they're gone and they are selling out quick the driven to thrive, broadcast, purpose growth and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving, purpose-filled, intentional lives.

Speaker 1: 5:23

Welcome to the driven, thrive broadcast, purpose growth and lasting impact for men. I'm your host, Brent Dallen, and we help men go from living to thriving, purpose-filled, intentional lives. My guest today is a man of many talents, Yusuf Marshall. He's the founder of Mirror Time Media LLC and the host of multiple shows, including one-on-one with Mr Yu. You may know him as the incredible Mr Yu. Mr Yu.

Speaker 2: 5:47

You may know him as the incredible Mr Yu. Mr Yu, welcome to the Driven to Thrive broadcast. Well, thanks for having me, mcbrandon. It's been so exciting already, so thanks for having me here. Man, glad to be here with you. Fantastic show, by the way.

Speaker 1: 5:56

Thank you, I'm excited about this one. This will be our third collaboration over the breadth of some of the work you and I do, and I'm really. This is going to be an incredible conversation, but we like to start out a little bit light, so how is your trivia skills?

Speaker 2: 6:12

Trivia skills. Well, they used to be really good because we're taking all this mindless, useless information and retain it to memory. But now I'm not sure how good it is, but I guess we can find out.

Speaker 1: 6:23

Here we go, guys. Trivia question of the show. What country ranks first in cereal consumption per capita? Is it A the USA, b Italy, c Ireland, d the Philippines or E Australia? Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2: 6:40

I thought I saw a stat on this, which tells you where my mind is going. Already, gosh, I thought it saw a stat on this. It tells you where my mind is going already, gosh, I thought it was us, I thought it was USA, but now I'm hesitant. Serial consumption. So you said okay, usa, italy, australia is the last one I heard.

Speaker 1: 6:59

What were the two in between Ireland and the Philippines?

Speaker 2: 7:03

I feel like I'm ruling those two out. My guess is USA. I'm going to say Australia, though.

Speaker 1: 7:14

Okay Now guys, you know the rules. Don't cheat, don't look it up, make your guess, Write it down, unless you're driving. For God's sake, don't write while you're driving and we'll come back to that later in the show, because no one actually cares. Mr Yu, you wear so many different amazing hats in all the things you do. I've loved getting to know you and just all the things you've got going on, but today, in this moment, all that aside, tell us in your own words who is Mr Yu Oof.

Speaker 2: 7:44

Try to keep it short Right now. Like I said, I consider myself a jack of all trades and wear many hats and I have done a lot of things and fantastic experiences in life stuff that came out of it. I think right now, primarily, I am a podcaster and content creator. I'm definitely an ordained minister. I use that in my everyday life. I guess we can throw in coach and father in that, because those are important roles for me. That's who I am. I think I can even add author in there. Those things are starting to come back. I was an author a long time ago and now it's beginning to resurface again. So that's who I am. I'm all of those things and hopefully one thing I'd love to be is walking to my gift as a professional friend.

Speaker 1: 8:43

Maybe we could all use a few more friends, so that that I like that. That would be awesome. Mr you, what do you do for a living Actually?

Speaker 2: 8:59

my entire, my entire, like every day, is is is generally spent trying to build on multiple opportunities for a stream of income. So right now I guess I'm considered unemployed, slash, retired slash, you know, a step away from being a bum. I mean, that's kind of where things are right now. I spend every day essentially interviewing people and trying to build our podcast brand that's what I do every day for the most part and build a nonprofit that we have just started about three months ago. Save the Children SC is a nonprofit that we started for children's advocacy, to teach life skills and literacy to children in our community who are suffering with that, who are being failed by the educational system and by families too. So that's what I do every day. If it's not podcasts, I'm trying to build a nonprofit. Everything else that's going on outside of that is just opportunities that are developing and growing. But those are the two things I'm doing every single day. That my living.

Speaker 1: 10:06

For lack of a better word, I like it why do you cringe at being called a coach or a mentor?

Speaker 2: 10:15

I mean, look around, dude, everybody. I don't care if it's in a podcast community like the ones that we're in, and I'll talk about it. Man, just to be real man, I see it in so many places, social media especially. It's a glut of that out there. Everybody that has a story or has something that they think is significant in their lives, they automatically dub themselves I knight myself coach, I knight myself mentor, and it's like that means something to me. More than that, because I went through classes and courses and got trained and certified to do that, to have that title. I thought that's what I was supposed to do.

Speaker 2: 10:53

You guys out here doing it themselves, I mean talking about being an ordained minister. People going out here online and getting it within seconds. People that said they're a minister and they can go marry somebody. I'm out here taking classes and courses for years to be able to have the distinction of being called a minister. I'm like so I'm cringing when I see somebody who's a coach and a mentor, not because they're not, it's just because I'm already skeptical. I'm like, okay, everybody does this and they call themselves. I mean I interview people who call themselves coaches and I ask them why do you think you're qualified to. I ask those questions on air Because, even though my certification probably has lapsed by now, I got a lot of years of experience in doing this and I'm like I don't take it.

Speaker 2: 11:40

I don't take it lightly. So now the market is so saturated oversaturated, if you will with coaches and mentors and people who are putting themselves in a spot where they counsel people about their lives and life stuff, and I don't know what kind of good to do a good job or not. I'm not speaking to that, I have no commentary there. But I cringe because now I'm like, when people know me as that and they do throughout history know me as a mentor and a coach, I almost don't want to be associated. I want a different title, something that makes me distinct from everybody else, because it's so much better out there and they're not really doing a good job. So I want to try to get away. I want to separate myself from them by having a different name, something Get me out of this circle, because I don't like what's happening. So that's why I cringe, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 12:27

No, it makes sense entirely. Trust me, I was interviewing I don't in all years now 370 some odd episodes of just this show. Congrats, brother, that's awesome. I have only had about three interviews I didn't air, that I recorded and one of them was this 20-year-old life coach. He was like 20 or 21. And like I'm just talking to you, Like, bro, you don't even have enough life to coach anybody I mean 30 year olds what they should do with their life. You don't even know what you're doing with your life. What is one thing everybody should know about you before we dig into purpose for men today, what should they know?

Speaker 2: 13:20

about me for men today. What should they know about me? How do I say this without sounding self-aggrandizing? I don't know how to word this. It's going to sound pompous as all get out, but it's not. I think what people should know is that I mean, people describe themselves this way and they label themselves as straight shooters and say I'm honest, I don't fluff and all that kind of stuff, and they're just harsh and crude and rude and arrogant and they just talk to people any way they want because for the sake of being real, you know, but I'm just, I'm just. I'm just me. I don't. I don't. I don't try to lie to folks, that I don't try to get them to do things I want them to do. I'm just. I mean I'm not going to sit and say I'm the less honest man, I'm not going to do all of that, but I'm just pretty honest about where I am. I don't lie to folks. I don't say I'm going to do this for you and I don't do it.

Speaker 2: 14:31

When I had you on the show, I told you. When you came on the show, I said the goal of the show is not to boost my numbers. I'm a different podcaster. Those things are going to happen. In my mind, they have to happen Through consistent progress and consistency. It has to happen. So I'm not worried about that. I don't need you to help me with that part. If you want to support me, that's great. That's why I said well, my goal here with this show and having you on is to support you and boost your profile.

Speaker 2: 14:57

I told you that from the very beginning it's really in the pre-interview, and I said that after the show was done. I'm going to be promoting your show, the episode, perpetually. And I said that and I've been doing it. I've been promoting your show Every time I get on my computer and I see the episode. I'm still sharing, I'm still pushing it, I'm still adding new captions. I'm saying check the show out, check out my guy. You'll love to hear what he has to say and I've been doing that, and that was months ago.

Speaker 2: 15:27

So I think, to answer your question I hate the word honest because I don't know whether you find a different word I'm just authentic about this. If I say I'm going to help you, I'm going to serve you, it's going to happen. I'm not going to forget about it. I'm not going to get so big that I forget where I came. It's not happening. I'm going to do what I said I'm going to do, but I write it down. I got it on index cards. It's in my calendar. I'm not going to forget and I really care about the people I'm trying to help and you know people don't get that. They think it's a motive and an angle, or he wants likes trying to get any.

Speaker 2: 16:08

I'm an introvert. I shouldn't even be doing this anyway. I shouldn't be on any TV screen or laptop. I shouldn't be doing this. I want to get away from it. I want to be in the light, so to speak. I don't want it, but there's a purpose that's greater than me and that's why I'm doing this. So maybe that did I answer the question, cause I don't even know if I did. I'm just babbling at this point. I have no idea what I was talking about, but that's what I, that's what I want you to know.

Speaker 1: 16:28

Straight from the heart. Man, we're good Guys. We've been just a little bit of time getting to know Mr you and who he is, what he's about, where he's coming from and the direction he's going. And the next part of the show we're going to go ahead and dive into why men need their purpose, why it's so important to find your purpose, and then later in the episode we're going to start heading towards helping you find your purpose. If this is something you're struggling with now, there's I.

Speaker 1: 16:57

I I've been looking forward to the conversation, man, because this is like one of the most convoluted questions I ever get asked and talked about. Talk about, uh, is helping people find their purpose, or why, why they should pursue their purpose at all? Right, I, I've met so many guys like I was truly, truly sad. I was talking to a guy one day at a men's breakfast, right, and uh, he was asking about my shirt. I was wearing one of my podcast shirts and he was asking about what I do when I talk about and I was like, well, you know I help men move towards their purpose and, you know, go beyond just living and you know, just being the breadwinner, right, the whole protect, provide, preside kind of thing that you hear talked about him in circles and this guy was like and he's easily in his 50s.

Speaker 1: 17:53

It's like what else is there? And like my heart hurts being. This is the reason we're having these conversations is there are so many men who don't realize there's so much more. You know what? Let's start with With the elephant in the room. Why should men seek out a bigger purpose in their life?

Speaker 2: 19:15

One of the things that my old Deleted Party mentor, dr Miles Monroe he was a well-known speaker, minister author. He was a well-known speaker, minister author. His books and his teachings have shaped my family's life and one of his quotes but it's two quotes I just love. I always share them because they just hit me that way. The short version of one of them is that the richest place in the world isn't the oil fields of Saudi Arabia or Texas or Fort Knox, it's the graveyard. Books, poems, inventions, stories, ideas. They rest there because they weren't walked out, they weren't lived out, and St Richard's Place in the entire world is the graveyard.

Speaker 2: 20:02

And his other quote is you know, without the understanding of a thing, abuse is inevitable, to paraphrase it. And as men we are known to be fixes and doers and, like you said, providers and such. But there's just so much more to us than that. We were created for a lot more than just to be a husband over a garden. There's more to us than that. We do more than that just being a provider and to show up and give our children the last scraps, the last remnants of our time because we're spent from working 16 hour days. There's more to our life than that. So I believe that men not men versus women, but just speaking to men specifically we need to seek purpose because if we don't, we would have lived a full life and never done and become all that we're supposed to be. And I use the word evolve not because we're talking evolution, I mean for lack of a better word we need to evolve into this and we can't do that without being on this seeking journey of trying to find purpose. What we do is we'll settle in into a temporary place and make it permanent when it's supposed to be temporary and we start camping out in a place that is supposed to just be passing through, and we do that in life. I've done it. That's how I know. Ask me how I know. That's how I know Because I went to a place I should have been passing through as a sojourner and I camped out there and hung out, put up a tent and said this is my house.

Speaker 2: 21:35

I started putting up signs saying this is my house, this is not my house. I thought we'd just be passing through it, moving on to the next bigger, bigger and better thing, but I didn't do that. I didn't discern the times and the seasons that I was in. As men, we can't afford to do that.

Speaker 2: 21:50

Look at the perception of men now, whether it be in the media, just around the world, even in books and stuff. Some stuff is deserved, but overall men get a bad rap and people don't really take the time to understand men. Even men don't want to understand men because we have an inability to connect or our unwillingness to learn how to connect with each other. So nobody understands us. We don't even understand us because we just come walking around like zombies just doing things that we think men are supposed to do. And there's just so much more to us. We have so much flavor, so much creativity, so much purpose inside of us. Gotta tap into it. Who wants to see a bunch of dead men that are supposed to be leading homes and households, being the priests prophesying kings in their household, and they just don't care? Pop on the couch, veg out and stop living. Start in a slow death process. Be over to ourselves to seek purpose.

Speaker 1: 22:54

There's a whole lot there, but I don't want to derail my thought process just yet. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry about that. It's like, you know, as podcast hosts, right, someone says something, it's something. I'm, that's, you know, sitting on my my head about that going to add to the conversation or from what was just said. Right, yeah, yeah, I want to detract from what my guest said. So let's push forward. And, uh, how about this? Right, you're in a place where you know that this is, this is reality to you, that this is important. So let's take a half step back and can you share a your experience, your story on what led you to discover your own purpose in life, what pushed you there?

Speaker 2: 23:54

Yeah, this is a lot of different little factors that kind of led to this. I'm trying to just pinpoint one thing where I just I just feel like I just got here. Uh, I don't know, I think, um, if I just pick one thing that kind of just pops up, uh, I will probably say in 2016 was probably the year that that really became a life for me personally. Uh, I was coaching. Before that, I even had my own coaching practice. I was having purpose conversations with people long before 2016,.

Speaker 2: 24:37

But that was the year that I wrote my first book and it represented therapy for me because of some serious hangups and some serious wounds that I had as being a son without a father. And in writing that book, like I say, it was therapeutic. To a degree, I got some healing out of that. There was more that came afterwards. Like, to a degree, I got some healing out of that. There was more that came afterwards, but to a degree. To write that and put it out, there was healing for me To have conversations about it, to have to discuss it openly with people who were reading the book. It was powerful. But in that I was like, okay, everybody that writes a book, you know it doesn't mean that you need to continue to be an author, but it just means that you know you had a story and you were able to share it and it resonated with somebody.

Speaker 2: 25:35

But in writing I was like I got so many questions and I even began to reassess my own work. I wrote the book but I was still in it. I was still in the book even though I wrote it and it was already published. It was already out on Amazon and all these retailers. But I was still processing this book and I'm like it made me come to some questions about myself. There were some hard questions that were not in the book. It made me wonder okay, so who are you? You spent this whole time writing 194 pages in six weeks about all your hurts and your struggles and the things that you lacked and missed out in life. Who are you? And it made me begin to start getting into a journey. That book helped me do that. So I started taking a journey to find out who I am.

Speaker 2: 26:24

So I think that year was pivotal for that. But it created some questions, because you know when we do things and we think you know what. Okay, I did it Now. What it made me just realize that you know, there's so much more. There's areas and chambers of our heart that we haven't even touched yet. There's so much more to us that's valuable, so much more that we've got to get out of us. We've got the journey of healing and restoration. It doesn't just start when we do something good and we give ourselves a pat on the back. There's just so much more and it never ends.

Speaker 2: 27:00

When I figured that part out, that it doesn't end, I'm like, oh my God, okay, so I should still be doing some more work. There should still be more journey happening. I thought I was going to be. That was a hard stop. I wrote the book. I'm good, assignment done, you know what I'm saying. But there's just so much more.

Speaker 2: 27:18

And that's when I realized that you know what I got to do work and it's perpetual. It don't quit until I'm done, like. I mean like as in end of life done or end of days done, whichever one comes first. That's what I realized. You know what? This is the journey. I got to stay in it with a secret mentality and I've been teaching that ever since that year About the secret mentality, and we got to have it.

Speaker 2: 27:40

We need to foster that and not let it go into your bureau drawer on your nightstand. We got to continue to keep doing that, because we find ourselves in that and I think even we find God in that, when we continue to say you know what? I need help, I don't have this down pat. I can't trust the media and TV shows to teach me stuff. I can't even trust the next podcast extraordinaire to teach me stuff. I need to. I need to continue to keep seeking and continue to keep trying to find him and find me and find us and find we. You know it's a process, it's a journey. So I'm pretty sure that I forgot your entire question, but forgive me, but that's where we are.

Speaker 1: 28:22

So that's how you found your purpose.

Speaker 2: 28:24

Yeah, I mean, that's how I found out that I need to be on the journey towards that. Honestly, when people talk about purpose, I think they always think about one singular thing, saying that that's bad. But I just feel like in my case it looks it's not, it's not that, but all those things lead you to it. All those things it's almost like, uh, like streams that lead into you, know, into geographic, like a tributary, whatever it is. But you know, all these things that I'm doing right now and I didn't see this originally just be just know all these things that I'm doing right now and I didn't see this originally, just to be fair, all the things that I'm doing right now even things I couldn't even talk about earlier because they're still being developed all those things lead to the one singular thing and for me, we can talk about what the purpose is if you're willing to do that, whatever. But you know, all those things that I'm doing right now they lead to that. It's not about me getting likes and being famous and being on platforms and billboards, excuse me, but they all lead to one singular thing and I think, once we figure that part out because a lot of the conversations I have with folks about this if they're not so inclined as you and I are and they're not people of faith, those conversations they can only go, but so far, just to be honest. So if people want to do free conversations with me, I'm good with it, but at some point we got to get to the faith component. Because if you think you're here just because and somebody popped you out, and they popped you out with no design in mind, and you're just here, our convo is going to go.

Speaker 2: 30:09

But so far we can have some great conversations about life and experience and purpose, and I've done it, but at some point in time we're not going to get to the graduation. It's not going to happen. We're going to get to the place where we're going to end up being almost like at an impasse. We may part ways, we may stay in touch and keep it friendly and casual, but at some point we got to touch on the whole existential conversation. We got to talk about it.

Speaker 2: 30:38

Why are you here? Do you think you made yourself? Why are you here? We got to have the creation creator conversation at some point. I think at that point we find out what the purpose actually is. And spoiler alert, I haven't said this on anybody's podcast. It's probably going to be the first time. Spoiler alert everybody's purpose is the same. People don't want to hear that, I know that's not popular, but everybody's purpose is the same. It's not different, different paths to get to it, but the purpose of all of us those that are inclined, like you and I, and those that are not.

Speaker 1: 31:19

The purpose is exactly identical One purpose you said that you know, as you did your book, it became a form of therapy and self-reflection for you to kind of point you in the path that you ultimately felt this is where I need to go. This is the direction my life is moving. Now, you know, obviously not everybody's going to stop and write a book and and kudos, by the way, 193 pages in six weeks. If you've never worked on a book, you have no idea how hard that is. Just, yeah, throwing that out there. Uh, I've started two books. I'm working on one. The other one I started ago and haven't got past the first hundred pages. Well, I've written the first 100 pages, I think three times, and I just keep rewriting it. The other one's only about 60 pages in, but 193 pages in six weeks. It's a lot, guys. It's working day in, day out on that book for six weeks, every day, but not everybody's going to write a book.

Speaker 1: 32:37

Now I actually really think that a lot of people should kind of even if they never publish it write their own memoir as almost a form of journaling, because when you actually start to like write it out and think through all those things, it really does cause some serious, serious, deep self-reflection. But do you think that that self-reflection and however you get there, whether it's through writing a book or maybe I don't know, some people meditate or something like that right, I, I always I was never a good meditation person. I tried for a while like really I'm like squirrel, you know it's right, right, oh, shiny, uh, yeah, you know I, I need like a almost what's what's, one of those almost uh sensory deprivation tank to be able to meditate, otherwise my brain is just like, um, it's like a pinball machine. I live with too many women. I gotta put, I gotta put it in stride so that maybe you could try it out.

Speaker 2: 33:39

It's like a pinball machine. I live with too many women. I got a buddy that's trying something. Maybe you could try it out. It's a lot cheaper than a sensory deprivation thing. Sit in a dark closet, lights out and put a blindfold on. I thought the boy was crazy, but in hindsight it kind of makes sense Because I'm the kind of person if I don't have a blindfold on, I'm seeing things like oh my God, this carpet is dirty. I'm seeing all types of stuff. I need clothes. Why did I hang that back up? It's not clean. No, I'm seeing all kinds of things, but with the blindfold on you don't see anything. All you're doing.

Speaker 1: 34:10

You kind of just you keeping in a deprivation tank? For me it's got to block out the sound. Oh, okay, like I, I hear everything that happens in my house, even in my sleep. I hear all my girls turn over in their beds on the opposite side of the house on two different floors. Like I, I don't sleep deeply, um, but how do you think it's that self-reflection is really crucial for men to try and align with their direction and purpose?

Speaker 2: 34:45

I know it is. I hold a book whenever I go on shows and talk about men and I don't. I'm not trying to get free pub, but there's a book by John Eldridge that I believe is the book for any man If you want to understand about purpose and self-reflection and stuff and it's Wild at Heart.

Speaker 1: 35:06

Great book.

Speaker 2: 35:07

That book right there. It has sharp edges, man. I'm just telling you that up front. It's going to cut you in ways that you haven't been cut, but it's worth it. The bloodshed is worth it, but the self-reflection part I don't know how we grow without it.

Speaker 2: 35:28

I mean, look at what men are like. Just generally speaking. This is not for every man. Please don't attack Brent or myself because of this comment I'm about to make, no, but generally speaking, we struggle with connection. We can be in a room full of people and still be isolated. I mean, we could be in a room of 50 people and not know one name of the person that people that we're in the room with. So we're in and we're present. Hey, I came to the event, I'm here, I'm at the breakfast, but we don't connect, we don't know each other. You're not in a dark room, but you're still isolated. It's not much different. You just change locations, but the mentality you brought into the room is still the same. And we struggle with connection. We struggle with getting in touch with ourselves. When we hear that kind of stuff, man, we laugh. Get in touch with yourself. What kind of hippie, new age crap is this? Get in touch with yourself. What are we talking about here? But as humans, just put the man apart for a second. As humans, we need to have this.

Speaker 2: 36:35

One of the reasons why I even started this podcast journey was because of a revelation that I personally received. One of our mottos is that we are a weekly mirror check before you go. Change the world, and that's something that I try to live by with everything that we put out under our brand, because I don't know how we do anything. I don't care if it's entrepreneurship, I don't care if it's podcasting full-time as a goal. I don't care if it's you are succeeding in the business world or in a nonprofit space. I don't care if it's you doing ministry and teaching and preaching around the world and doing missions work. I don't know how we do anything of any kind.

Speaker 2: 37:13

Working at the construction company, at the factory If you're out here laying pipe, any kind of working at the construction company, at the factory, I don't, whatever. If you are here laying pipe and whatever you're doing, if you're working in light and water and energy, whatever you're doing. I don't know how we do any of that kind of stuff without some level of self-evaluation. We have bosses, that mentor that may evaluate us and give us tests and programs to make sure that we're following the standards. But at some point we got to do that to ourselves and say this is OK, this was the goal I have. Where are we at with that? How's this going? I said I'm going to January 1st. I had a New Year's resolution that I'm going to do this and do this. Ok, we're in August. How are we doing? We got to have evaluation on every level. Are we reading enough? Are we taking the time to reflect on what we read, or are we just reading so we can see if we did it and check it off? Are we spending enough time, like you said, in meditation?

Speaker 2: 38:12

I mean I wasn't a big meditator, I thought it was like me. The kids and my wife. They laugh about that stuff all the time. I got daddy ears. I hear the siren and it's miles away and I can hear a siren and my wife's like I don't hear anything. I'm like a siren's coming watch and then after a few seconds or a minute, she would hear it come. She should hear it come to. Oh, my god, you got daddy ears. I hear my daughters. When they were living in the house I could hear all you say, all kind of stuff. I'm like, wow, I don't think I want the power of super hearing, a lot of responsibility, but I could hear it like that. So I mean, for me meditation wasn't really a thing until recently.

Speaker 2: 38:50

Now I'm in the space was like I know, I have to do it, I gotta take the time to shut it down. It's not easy. I I take the time and listen to myself, hear what's going on, the thoughts that come up why is that happening? Why are these thoughts coming up above all the other ones? And start dealing with me, start putting some work in, because we work on everything else.

Speaker 2: 39:11

As men, we're worker bees. We want to fix stuff, we want to try to build and make things go. We want to fix stuff, we want to try to build and make things go and we neglect ourselves. We do it all around us when it comes to us. We get uncomfortable. When you have those men's breakfasts and ministry meetings like what you were talking about earlier, that's what happens. We get in those spaces and we just try to just get through this. Hopefully nobody will ask me to say anything. Hopefully they won't ask me to say my name or share a story about my life. I just want to just get through this, eat these eggs and bacon and get out of here and get in my car and drive away as fast as I can to go do whatever I want to do Go fishing or hunting, or go to the range or whatever.

Speaker 2: 39:54

And it's like we won't take the time to stop and say, hey, man, you need wholeness, you need it. You can't do anything of any note in the future, you can't even be that for your sons and daughters if you don't work on progressive healing for yourself. You know what I'm saying. So to me, man, it's like this is where it's at. We have to do this, and it's an uncomfortable conversation, but I'm excited about the opportunity to have it with people. I'm saying we have to do this. We can't get around this.

Speaker 2: 40:29

Look at history, man. I saw it going on a long time, man. My apologies, man, but just look at the history, man. Look at what's been going on in our world, around us, man, you can tell that a lot of people who are in leadership don't have a lot of self-reflection. You can tell. You can tell because I don't know what goes in, but you can tell what's in there because of what comes out. And if we want to have value in this life, if we want to be successful, so to speak, as fathers and husbands and sons and brothers, what we put in makes a difference, because that's what's going to come out.

Speaker 1: 41:09

I love that. I hate cliche phrases, right, and part of the reason I hate them is some of them are so true, right, like no shade on Tony Robbins, but he's like the king of those like cliche catchphrases that like are so repeatable and they get in your. They're like earworms, you're just like. And a lot of them are really true. Like I said, no shade on Tony Robbins, no disrespect at all. But I hate those cliche sayings. Right, but it's that garbage in, garbage out. I have a background in IT and that terms you all the time, right?

Speaker 1: 41:50

Oh man, garbage code will give you garbage right, correct, don't always think about the intake. It's one of the arguments. Uh, you know I've talked in previous shows and I've talked with previous guests about like porn addiction and stuff like that. Men don't understand. It's garbage and garbage out. You put garbage into your heart, you put garbage into your brain. It produces garbage in your life. It's just how it is. Yeah, yeah, and so honoring it is part of why I got into personal development.

Speaker 1: 42:28

When I started, my own personal development journey was just like I need to know what I'm putting in here is producing value, right? Uh, I, I was addicted to video gaming. I played video games on almost a professional level. I, I had the option to a professional level. Um, but I, I, I lost three years of my life on one game, like I actually calculated, and that that's what actually set me up, was I. I realized I spent three years. I could never get back on a game, that it was fun. I made some great friends playing the game, who are still friends now. Yeah, like it did nothing for my physical life.

Speaker 1: 43:15

Men are often drawn to video games because we can get those big epic wins in video games that we're missing in our lives. Right, right, right, right. But it was finally that click of. But I'm never going to get those epic wins in my life if I don't start putting better stuff into here. Right, if I don't start changing the diet of what I'm consuming, I can't expect a great output. So that's, it's one of those cliche sayings. It's like Garbage in, garbage out is so important, and you can tell what a person is putting into their life by what's coming out. Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. In faith circles, we call that producing fruit. Uh, outside of faith circles, it's really just garbage and garbage out. It's what you put into your mind and into your heart. That's, that's what comes out in your life yeah it's true, man, it it plays so much into.

Speaker 1: 44:19

You know you're talking earlier about the richest place is the cemetery, and that is my father was a minister and I, so I spent a lot of time at funerals, yeah, and it gave me an interesting perspective very young, because I started realizing what actually mattered at the end of the road very early on. I saw these amazing people, but I looked at them at the end of their road and what did people actually say about them? What stood out to people about them? What mattered, right, do their kids talk about them? I listened to their surviving spouses talk about them and it's the sobering realization of what actually carries weight when this world ends for us, right, and so it put me early on to. This is like okay, what do I want my life to say at my funeral? What do I want people saying about me and how do I get there? Yeah, yeah, right. And so I started trying to look at a bigger picture early on now. Now, that was a really crazy like situational thing when my dad being a minister is like so I got this early exposure.

Speaker 1: 45:45

I, I, I sat with people in the hospital and listened to their regrets, wow, as they were dying. There's that incredible look I I've only read excerpts of it. A nurse wrote it. It was like interviews. She interviewed a she was a hospice nurse or something and she interviewed all these people at the ends of their lives and it was like the most common regrets that humans have at the end of their life. I think people don't necessarily. I think there don't necessarily. I think there's a lot of weight. If you can look at the end, it will start driving you towards. There's a meaning for an intention to my life, a purpose, if you will, to my life that I need to get to. When you start looking at it from the end perspective, sure, uh, it starts to affect what that I need to get to. When you start looking at it from the end perspective, sure, uh, it starts to affect what, what carries weight in your life. But that's my own dreams about that.

Speaker 1: 46:50

Yeah, how do you help people separate the sub passions versus purpose? I think a lot of times we we start to talk about purpose and we mistake some of our passions along the way and sometimes sometimes they're aligned and sometimes they're not. So how do you have that conversation?

Speaker 2: 47:22

Oh well, and sometimes they're not. So how do you have that conversation? Well, when I hear the word passion, it emotes certain images that come to mind, but generally speaking, passion is burnout. And when I talk to people about things that they especially young folks and I don't want to use generation to describe them, I don't know what generation they fall in, I can't think what that is right now, but this generation they talk a lot about passion. This is my passion, this is what I love to do, and but that passion doesn't drive them to get out of bed before 10 o'clock in the morning. That passion doesn't drive them to be early for an appointment, as opposed to being right on time or just a few minutes late. That passion doesn't drive them to stay up late studying, reading how to do this passion better than it's been done, how to go beyond the normal requirements and the basics and go beyond and go into the level of advancing and excelling in these areas. But they want to sell us on how passionate they are about things. I'm like, as a as, as an old head, I, I I'm pretty quick to stamp out that part of the conversation. I'm like, yeah, if you come into me for to me for help with this. You're coming to the wrong person Because I've seen people who are passionate that never accomplish anything.

Speaker 2: 49:08

You know of any kind of note. It always burns out because you were living on passion and when you got purpose. That's how stuff gets done. That's how inventions get made. That's how inventions get made. That's how people who have long careers and longevity in certain areas, that's how they accomplish that. They understand what the goal is from the beginning. They begin with the end in mind. They know what it is they're trying to accomplish and for me that's the difference.

Speaker 2: 49:34

So when I get in conversations about purpose versus passion, we start off with passion a lot of the time. But we can't end there At some point. The way it burns off in your life you're going to burn out in that conversation, in that consultation. We can't spend time there because that's not going to, that's not going to keep you motivated to get out of bed at three, four, five in the morning and go do this thing. I've never seen that happen on passion alone. I've never seen it happen. There's a certain level of desire and skill and determination that comes with doing anything of any kind of note. But that passion word. It just hits me wrong. I'm like, okay, yeah, this is, this is a. I've never seen anybody who made that, made that their thing, their model and and they and they've done something great. I've never seen it happen yet. Fair enough.

Speaker 1: 50:33

What would you? I know a lot of guys right, right, they start to key into this idea of purpose in their life. They start asking in fact, I found a lot of men don't start asking those questions until they hit that quote-unquote american dream. Right, because life, you're told to, you know, your job is to provide and get the house and the family and the dog and all that. Right, that's, that's the big dream. And then it's usually guys get there, or closer there, they start to go wait, it feels like there should be more to this. Right, this, this seems kind of like I.

Speaker 1: 51:13

That was a daunting realization for me personally.

Speaker 1: 51:15

Right, cause I had that out there and it's like, yeah, I've got a great job and, uh, you know, I've got the dog and the kids and and my wife and I've been married for years at that point and we're just happy that we're still married because, you know, we had the rough patches there, mainly because I'm an idiot most of the time, but you know my wife makes up for me a lot but, um, I got there and it's like, huh, I don't, I don't get it Like I, right, but so a lot of times a lot of guys are already carrying a lot of weight, or what uh on themselves at the point where they start to go weight, or what uh on themselves at the point where they start to go.

Speaker 1: 52:02

Maybe there's more to life than this, right? So when you start to have this conversation with them, it's really difficult for a lot of guys because, yeah, there's all these expectations already wait on them. So you know how how do we carry that life? We've built those expectations, that responsibility, and meet those expectations, while still trying to find authentic fulfillment and purpose.

Speaker 2: 52:33

I think, if I heard the question correctly and it's question, by the way, if I heard, if I heard it right, I think, uh, the why is a big uh is a very important component in this. Uh, I think, as men, I don't think we struggle with that as much. You know, when somebody says we need to do something, well, maybe it's not all men this is probably another general statement, but whenever somebody tells me I speak for myself to take it off everybody else. If somebody asked me to do something, my first question is why? Why am I doing this? Why do you want me to invest this level of time and commitment to doing this? Why? Even when my girls were young and they would ask me to do stuff, my question to them was why and I know it gets frustrating if you have to ask why four or five times. Oh, my God, you're draining me. Just do it. No, but the why is important and in your scenario and the question you laid out so massively, the why is important, I mean that whole American dream deal. The why is important, I mean that whole American dream deal.

Speaker 2: 53:43

I feel like that was just an opportunity. It wasn't supposed. I don't, I don't think that was designed to be the end, and if it was, it's a horrible dream. If that's, if that's the case, where the only goal is a house and a white picket fence and a dog and a family and a good job. If that's the goal, I'm like, oh my God, this dream is. Either it's very awful and it's sinister, or it was just designed to just be a step into opportunity, a step into greatness, a step out of obscurity and into relevance. So I'm not quite sure. Since I didn't invent the dream, I can't speak to what it was supposed to be.

Speaker 2: 54:17

But as far as men go, I think we need to understand the why of why we're doing what we're doing. Because if you're on a job 30, 40 years and that's your why you missed something along the way, because more after that, because after you leave. I mean I see some people who work jobs for 40, 50 years even I can't believe you could work at one place for 50 years, but I've seen this and when they retire, they're closer to death's doorstep than they ever were in their entire life. Why? Because their whole life was wrapped up in that job and they made that their why. They made that the reason why they were here to work for Acme Incorporated.

Speaker 2: 55:03

And once they leave Acme or they get laid off, like we saw five years ago they plunge into a frenzy and don't know what to do, like, wow, why am I here? I'm going to kill myself. They don't have any sense of purpose. They don't understand why they're even doing what they're doing. What was the point? So that you can have a nice retirement? Or do you want to start a business? Or do you want to build something in that that feeds generations? What was your goal? So I guess, to answer your question again, the why is super important. If we don't understand that all we'll have is that dream, and then if we don't understand that all we'll have is that dream, and then if we don't hit it, then we'll have to spare but how do we get there?

Speaker 1: 55:45

we've we've gotten there and gone. There's more, but I've already got to pay the bills. I've already got to take care of my wife and kids. How do I start maintain this life I've built and what matters in there? Right, I got to keep paying the bills. I got to keep taking my care of my family. How do I start to explore that idea of purpose and more to my life, while I'm already trying to balance all this?

Speaker 2: 56:17

okay, I'm not going to say, go out and get a life coach. That's going to send us down a rabbit hole that we don't need to go down. I'll tell you because, excuse me, what I don't want to do is say anything that's going to sound formulaic, like do this and it's going to turn out the way it did for me. I won't do it, but what I'll do is I'll tell you what I did and you can decide. You can adapt it to your own life. This is what I did. I had the cushy job with the government corporate job moved up in the ranks, real fast, prominent position, nice pay, stability, all of that stuff. But I didn't feel like. I felt like I was trapped inside myself, like there's somebody in here who's not getting a chance to shine in this. So one thing I did. I did and this is just my personal testimony. You guys can decide how you want to do your thing, or you want Brent or myself to help you with doing what we did but I really began to increase my seeking and my reading. From a biblical standpoint, that's one of the first things I did, because, in order to understand who I was, I needed to understand who made me. If I have a problem with a car and it's a Toyota brand car, I'm not calling Hyundai to ask them how to get this fixed. I'm not going to call Mitsubishi to find out how to fix this Toyota. That's not what they do. They fix their own brand of cars. So I can't go to somebody who doesn't know me, who hasn't fashioned me in his own hands, out of his own hands, to ask them for help. So I clung a lot to scripture. I dug into it to try to find answers for myself and how to get on that path you're talking about. Along with that not in front of it, but along with that I also increased my reading period on topics relating to this and, like anything that you read, you need to take the meat and throw away the bones. It's just sometimes when I read stuff it's like, yeah, that's not going to fly and that's fair.

Speaker 2: 58:26

Everybody had their own perspective about stuff and they write about it and we buy the books and we read it. So we've got to decide how to parse the things that are weighted and matter to us and put the things to the side that don't matter as much. So that, along with it, I made my script, my scriptural intake, and then reading books about purpose and life, stories and and men's issues and things of that nature, and I began to start building a library of information. What you said about journaling, that's spot on that, that that opened things up, because when you start asking yourself those deep questions, you'd be surprised by the answers you run into over time.

Speaker 2: 59:05

So all those things I was implementing at the same time, or at least concurrently, and I began to start seeing some things, I began to start recognizing you know what my perspectiveness has been kind of off and I got to build a life outside of the one that I've already been building all this time. You know, and I'm still in that journey right now. I haven't it's not years ago, this is like right now, that's like today, like five seconds ago. It's still, this is still happening. So I had this other life that I built, this other platform network, and I got to build another one from scratch. I got to tear down all the old junk that I was wasting my time like you said, wasting years doing and build the one that matters, the one that has longevity and value to it, the one that can feed generations and change lives forever. So that was my best way to answer that question. I surely hope it was helpful, because you got some awesome listeners and viewers and I don't want to screw them up, so hope that helped.

Speaker 1: 1:00:07

Now, guys, if you're getting something out of this, if this is ringing a bell for you, be sure and like, share all that good social media nonsense that I hate and that I even hate on air. I hate the whole promotional side of this crap. I just want to make a difference in people's lives and provide solid content for them, and having to play the social media game and stuff to reach people is such a headache. So, if this has really helped bringing in for you guys, share this with somebody who needs it. That's like the biggest compliment ever is when you share this podcast with somebody who needs it.

Speaker 1: 1:00:43

We got to start landing this plane, not where we're getting there, but if this is a new conversation for somebody, right, they're talking about purpose. They're hearing this say hey, there's more to your life, there's more more to who you are. Um, I, really I. I love that example of the graveyard because, like, there is so many things that will never ever come into existence because a person didn't realize, wait, I got more in me than that. I got more to where I need to go and who I am. And if this is a new conversation for somebody, what are the first three steps someone can really start to take into doing this. So you know, and we're not going to say call it coach, that's not the answer here. What are? You know? Three steps, and you've already started that conversation with what you did. But if this is a new conversation for someone, where is the starting point? What are the first couple steps so they can start on their own journey?

Speaker 2: 1:01:50

and this is and this is in reference to purpose, right? Yeah, uh, very first step. I think the first step, if I was laying out a plan, having done this in a while, haven't had to. I think it's coming, but I'm going to have to start doing it again. But I think the first thing is assessing the history. What have you been doing up to this point? I mean, I think as a man, I have to go back. Sometimes my wife reminds me of stuff that I've done and I'm like, oh, I did, I should have forgot about that.

Speaker 2: 1:02:28

Because we don't want to write stuff down, we don't want to take the time to get in touch with ourselves, so we kind of just we just drift through it, we do it and leave it in the rear view and it's like, oh wow, there's no memory, there's no memorial of it, there's no markers to show what happened. We don't keep a snapshot of it in any way, shape or form, physically or mentally. There's no snapshot. So, assessing okay, what have you been doing? Because you're like 30, 40 years old, what have you been doing up to this point? Maybe you're a 20-year-old life coach, what have you been doing? We assess that part first. The second one is okay, why have you been doing this? The second step is finding out the why. Why? Because that motivation? I see people who were impoverished and they won the lottery. Guess what happened to them? Less than a year later they're back in poverty, but now they have massive debt attached to it. So they weren't just poor, now they owe people. I'm saying how'd that happen? Because the motivation that they had the first time hadn't been dealt with. We haven't dealt with why you were motivated to do that.

Speaker 2: 1:03:36

Where that come from, there's a story of a lady and they always I don't know who she's been attributed to this lady who, uh, she was cooking with her daughter for the holiday for thanksgiving I think it was and she would take parts of that ham and she would cut it off, and then she would throw a good chunk of it in the trash and her mother's like why am I doing that? The mother asked the daughter asked her daughter why were you doing it? Why are you throwing away all this meat? And then she would say when we were younger we had a really small icebox, so we only had enough room for a certain amount, so we had to save some in the icebox and we had to throw the rest of it away, which is wasteful. That makes you cringe, but that was the thing. She carried that on into another generation. Her daughter started doing it, her granddaughter started doing it.

Speaker 2: 1:04:24

It had to do with the motivation of why you were doing that, to explain what's happening in you right now. So the second one is explaining or assessing what the why is, why you're doing what you're doing. And then the third one I think for me is figuring out if you want to actually have help. I talk to folks all the time who we can walk through that step with. But the third one is like you know what? Do you really want to be transparent? Do you really want the kind of community that Brent talks about? That I'm talking about? Do you really want to have that? If you do, then we can move forward.

Speaker 2: 1:04:54

But those first three steps, we've got to cover that. First You've got to assess what you've been doing. Get real about it. In fact, get it on paper is the best thing. Write on paper what I've done with multiple people, even some couples that my wife and I have been working with. What have you been doing up to this point? Write it down.

Speaker 2: 1:05:11

Secondly, why are you doing that? Third, do you want to actually change this behavior or are you so comfortable with it that you don't want to change anything? We can't assume if somebody wants to change it because we're on a call, we're doing a consultation. That's an idiotic mistake. It's a waste of our time. We got to find out. Do you actually want to change something? Do you want the kind of community that we have access to? If you do, then we can go ahead and move forward and start taking some steps and start dealing with some hard things. But that third step you can't. You can't skip the four. That third step got to be undertaken. So those are the best three steps. I probably, if I was creating a program and a plan again and back into this coaching space again, that's probably where I would it's kind of how it would look.

Speaker 1: 1:05:57

What advice do you have for men who feel stuck in their careers and their personal lives where they're at, but they're seeking something more meaningful?

Speaker 2: 1:06:03

They're seeking something more meaningful. What are they? What are they seeking? What are they doing? You said seeking something more meaningful.

Speaker 1: 1:06:08

Yeah, they're looking for more meaning. They're, they're, they're, they're, they've hit this point and they're looking for more meaning, something that is bigger than, oh, the house, the dog, the family, yay.

Speaker 2: 1:06:23

I think I got kind of a two-part answer. Hopefully this makes sense. Whenever I interview somebody, one of the last questions I ask, the second to last or the last question I ask on the show, every single time without fail. If you were not in your current vocation, doing what you're doing now, what would you be doing? And what that causes our guests to do is to kind of go back in time a little bit, go back into the time machine, look at the things that they put into the bureau drawers, that they've kind of put into a safe, to kind of hit it away.

Speaker 2: 1:06:53

Maybe society said it was a bad idea. Maybe your parents said you know what? They discouraged it. It's like you can't do that with your life. That's not a viable route. Do something more stable, like go into engineering, do something surrounding math, that's something creative, like this idea, and they stamp it out and you get discouraged and you put it away. But in going back into that you realize that those ideas may not have been as bad as you thought. They may have been entrepreneurial, gold mines, mines. And now somebody else is doing it and you put it on the shelf in favor of a cubicle instead.

Speaker 2: 1:07:27

So I think I would one. I would want to assess no, what do you want to do? And I did that with a couple of people over the past maybe 20 years or so. I would have them write down all the things that they're passionate about. And that's not easy for a man number one because that whole passion thing again, I would have them write maybe a top 10 list of all the things they're passionate about and it would take them forever to finish it. I'm like, because they don't really know how to get, they're not even in touch with their own selves. But once they write that stuff down, once we can get there, which a lot of times it was rare, we struggled with that. But once we got there I was able to see I'm like, so most of what's on this list you're not doing it right now, why? And then we find out. You know out, you know different between you know hope and dreaming versus obligation and responsibility and mandates and pressure and all these things.

Speaker 2: 1:08:32

So I hope I answered that that's kind of where you want to start because you're doing things. It's not like you're not lazy, you're busy, you're doing things, you're building something. But deep down you want doing things. It's not like you're not lazy, you're busy, you're doing things, you're building something, but deep down, you want something more. You got to find out why. Why do you want more? What's wrong with what you're doing? You don't feel fulfilled. I mean, I want to get into those conversations. I want to talk about that. Why not?

Speaker 2: 1:08:56

The whole world is saying that these kinds of jobs are the greatest things since sliced bread. Do this and you build a career and a life and a happy family. Your wife's going to be happy, your kid's going to be happy, you can go on vacations. The world said this is it. They said this is the answer. You're telling me it's not the answer. Why do you think it's not the answer? We've got to get into it. I get deep with it, man. I want to find out what's going on. I don't want to be treating the sneeze. I want to find out why you're sneezing. You know yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:09:24

I like it. What's next for Mr K?

Speaker 2: 1:09:29

There's some. There's some things that I can share.

Speaker 2: 1:09:31

There's some I can't not to sound mysterious, but that's not my plan but the three areas that I have like I just stated a little bit ago that that I've always felt like I had an affinity towards I put it on the shelf, three very specific areas that I put on the shelf.

Speaker 2: 1:09:52

People out here doing it, you interview them all the time and they're doing one of those three things, but I wasn't doing any of them. They're doing one of those three things but I wasn't doing any of them, so I put it on the shelf where now an opportunity has presented itself through community. That's key. Through community, I'm going to start doing all three of those things very, very soon, so I'm excited about that. I'm going to definitely share some of that with you, because some of it is relevant to you and maybe we can talk about it in a future discussion. But those three things so I call them the three pillars my wife actually knows me to describe it the three pillars that I put on the show, that have been in the draw for years. They're about to come back out and I'm super excited about it.

Speaker 1: 1:10:35

So you see, guys, we've been talking about this the whole time. Right, there's something he's absolutely passionate about. It's there that he's had to put to the side for now, and even now, right, he's going yeah it's still there and I'm coming for it now. It's time, it's time, it's time. Where is the best place for people to find you and connect with you?

Speaker 2: 1:11:00

They call me mru dot buzzsproutcom. You can find all of our socials there. You can find the work on all of the episodes that we've been doing for the past five years. I highly recommend our first three seasons powerful stuff, so you can find all the episodes there Best way to contact me. And, of course, theycallmemisteru at gmailcom. I don't mind getting emails. If it's spam, I put it where it belongs, so I'm good with it, but those are the best ways to reach me. And, of course, our YouTube channel, our youtubecom at theycallmemisteru. A lot of recent stuff, a lot of audio and video stuff as well, but not a bad way to reach people. The first two are probably the best route and hopefully they're going to be in your show notes. They can access that really quickly, but yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:11:44

And we'll. I just like to have people say it for our audio listeners. You know it's. It will be in the show. Notes are in the YouTube description of rumble or whatever. Joining us for this episode on guy, of course, we will make sure, and it will be. All his links will be on the actual page for this episode as well on the website, as well as connections to other projects we've worked on together, because this is, I think, the third collaboration together. Yeah, so, and I'm excited to share all those with you guys. By the time you hear this, you'll. Two of them are already out, so our will have already been out Now. I know all of you are really worried about cereal consumption, and the biggest cereal consumption per capita is, oh man, with australia and my gut, my gut didn't say that, but yeah the answer is ireland.

Speaker 1: 1:12:37

What, yeah, crazy right. Apparently they like their lucky charms. I'm sure that was that was probably the answer is Ireland. What? Yeah, crazy right, apparently they like their Lucky Charms. I'm sure that was probably like racist or something. Sorry guys, oh wow. That was just like the first Irish cereal we could make. They might be delicious. Sorry guys, no shade. I've got Irish family. Wow, hopefully came out wrong and we're done. I'm getting.

Speaker 1: 1:13:06

I'm getting deplatformed again all right, oh no, that's funny that's funny though, mr you, if, if the people listening today heard absolutely nothing else from this conversation. What is the most important thing you want anybody here today? Here's this.

Speaker 2: 1:13:29

Embrace community man. I don't mean just the guys that like, look up to you and like what you have to talk about, so many people who would challenge you, that won't give you a handout, but give you a hand up and pull you up to where they are and you guys grow in success together. Us men we need that. I mean I know women need it as well and I respect that and I understand that. But as men we need that and it's a hard fight. It's a battle To get out of our comfort zones, of the couch or the man cave and to step out and do things with other men. It's not easy. It's a struggle. Ask me again how. I know it's a struggle but it's worth it because we find purpose in that community, we find compassion, we find understanding, we find wisdom in that community. Embrace it.

Speaker 2: 1:14:24

If you don't know where to find that kind of stuff and you've been listening to Brent and his work on his podcast work, which is fantastic, by the way reach out to him. If he wants to reach out to me or others that he thinks are a match, let him be a connector man, because by yourself I mean. Look, you've been doing it by yourself for a while you think it's really good. I mean, if you think it's great, then you know, don't bother. But if you think there's room for growth, that you think there's room for some opportunity, you feel like it's not quite. You know there's a void there. Reach out to this brother man and let him direct you in the right way. Man, get your best interest at heart, man. So this is my best takeaway Embrace community, embrace. This show Driven to Thrive is an incredible podcast, so embrace that and keep listening. You're definitely going to learn something every single time.

Speaker 1: 1:15:13

Wow, I can't even trump that. Thanks. Thank you for that, cher. You can try. No, no, hey, I'll that share.

Speaker 2: 1:15:23

You can try. No, no, I was like, hey, I'll take an endorsement. At the end that that's beautiful.

Speaker 1: 1:15:25

Thank you, it's a great show man. Yeah, mr you, I appreciate you jumping on today and hanging out with us during with us. Uh, I love bringing just the best people to my community, so thank you for being part of that. Thank you, and guys connect. He's so right. Like this is something that I was struggled with for so many years and was so bad about working out in my life is just embracing community. I've always gone it alone, so I'm I'm trying to grow in that area of my life as well. Right, connecting better with people and having that community. I'm great at like relationships, actually having like a tight knit community and still working on that in my own personal life. So really valuable insights right there, guys, for me. Mr you, thanks for hanging out with us today. Thanks for listening. Thank you Share this with somebody who needs it and be better tomorrow because of what you do today.

Speaker 3: 1:16:24

The driven to thrive broadcast purpose, growth and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving, purpose-filled, intentional lives.

Speaker 1: 1:16:34

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