"Unmasking Imposter Syndrome" with Tara Halliday

Have you ever achieved success but secretly felt like you don't deserve it? That nagging voice suggesting you're not quite good enough despite evidence to the contrary? You're far from alone.

Dr. Tara Halliday, expert imposter syndrome coach and bestselling author, reveals that an astonishing 70% of high achievers experience imposter syndrome. This isn't just affecting newcomers – it impacts professionals in their 40s, 50s, and 60s at the pinnacle of their careers across every industry from business to athletics, acting, and beyond.

What makes imposter syndrome so insidious is its ability to hide in plain sight. Despite outward confidence, many successful people carry this burden silently, believing it's a personal weakness rather than a common experience. The physiological stress, mental distraction, and self-limiting behaviors it triggers – perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking – actively undermine your potential.

The most illuminating revelation? Imposter syndrome isn't about personality or confidence. It stems from a fundamental belief formed in early childhood that your worth as a person depends on what you do. This unconscious trigger lives in your brain's fear center, making it impossible to simply "think your way out" of these feelings.

For content creators and podcasters, this often manifests as constant comparison, endless editing, and the exhausting pursuit of perfection. Dr. Halliday offers practical strategies, including a powerful reframe for comparison: instead of focusing on differences between yourself and others, deliberately identify similarities and shared experiences to foster belonging.

Through compelling success stories, Dr. Halliday demonstrates how addressing imposter syndrome at its root transforms professional performance – from a hedge fund COO who went from dreading board meetings to proactively leading them, to a medical software representative who shifted from defensive reactions to calm confidence under pressure.

Discover if imposter syndrome is impacting your life by taking the free assessment at completesuccessco.uk/quiz and start your journey toward authentic confidence today.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Tara Halliday
• 6:07 Defining Imposter Syndrome
• 9:21 What Imposter Syndrome Is Not
• 17:38 Root Causes and Triggers
• 24:22 Symptoms and Their Impact
• 28:56 Advice for Content Creators
• 34:23 Tara's Personal Experience
• 39:18 Success Stories and Solutions

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:37

welcome back to one-on-one with mr you. Of course, I'm your host, Mr U, In studio with us today. Tara Halliday, expert imposter syndrome coach and author of bestselling books Outsmart Imposter Syndrome and Unmasking the Coach's Guide to Imposter Syndrome. Tara, how are you today? Great to have you back, Awesome, awesome, so excited to have this conversation. We had so much fun in our pre-interview chat, talked about so much stuff and we got delayed a little bit, but now we're finally here. So I'm excited to have this conversation with you and have you talk to our listeners and viewers about imposter syndrome and so much more. So let's get into it. Customarily, I always ask our guests the first question Describe your upbringing, your childhood, where you're from, what life was like for you as young Tara?

Speaker 2: 1:25

Help us out with that. Young Tara. Yeah, so my childhood, my parents split up when I was seven and actually that was quite a defining time for me and I think what it gave me was a sense of independence. You know, you kind of have to put yourself up by your own socks if you like, and that was pretty good. It made me feel very able to step out into the world. One of the things my mother always used to say to me was the world is your oyster, and that is really empowering, really uplifting. So, yeah, I left home when I was 16 to go to college in Canada. That's how adventurous and exciting the world was for me.

Speaker 1: 2:13

If I understand right, you went to Canada and then you went to Boston as well, right?

Speaker 2: 2:17

Yeah, I lived nine years in Boston, Massachusetts. Yeah, I got that was my transition, because I started my career in engineering and I got kind of headhunted to a software company over in Boston and while I was there I changed from that to starting my training as a holistic therapist and getting back to the work that I wanted to do originally, which was working with people and helping them through all sorts of problems and crises.

Speaker 1: 2:48

Okay, I love this. You've been to a lot of different places. I mean England, Canada and Boston are dramatically different. I think only two of those places have real snow. Yes, very true, you must have enjoyed the snow to stay in Canada and Boston.

Speaker 2: 3:05

That long I think it might have driven me away. Actually, I think that's one of the things I missed about the UK is that you can go outside and your skin doesn't freeze.

Speaker 1: 3:20

You know little luxuries. Many a person like you has been worn off by the snow. It's not uncommon. I moved from the northeast but it wasn't because of snow. But I'm not going to say I don't miss my hands being frozen. I can't feel my fingers. I don't miss that part. But I miss the other beautiful aspects of it though, but not that.

Speaker 1: 3:42

What would you say and this is a personal question. I was always going to ask you this what would you say is the one food that you miss most from each place England, canada and Boston? I think you're back in England now, if I understand the story right, but what's a food that you love the most in England and which food do you miss the most in Canada and in Boston? You spent so much time there, you had to have something that was like you know. It became a favorite.

Speaker 2: 4:07

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 4:08

Years and nights you had to have some kind of food that was the favorite. What was those?

Speaker 2: 4:14

Yeah, so in England I didn't realize, I missed it until I moved away there's a special kind of baked beans that we have and it's not. It's not like the southern american baked beans, it's very different heinz baked beans. So I missed those when I was, when I was in canada from canada I, I was in um on vancouver island in british columbia, and they had this wonderful chocolatier that made these chocolate cream, flavoured cream like orange cream, strawberry creams covered in chocolate. Oh, they were heavenly. So I've missed those ever since. Never found any so good, and in Boston, strange to say. Well, really not strange, the lobster was really good. The lobster was really really good in Boston.

Speaker 1: 5:03

I'm surprised by all of these answers Big Beans in England, lobster in Canada and Lobster in Boston. I've never heard any of those things associated with each other before. This is amazing.

Speaker 2: 5:21

Okay, I'm intrigued.

Speaker 1: 5:22

The lobster came from Maine, associated with each other before this is amazing.

Speaker 2: 5:23

Okay, well, I'm sure I'm intrigued. Lobsters came from maine.

Speaker 1: 5:28

I would guarantee that, but I've never heard those two. I told you, rachel, that's, that's, that's outstanding. Okay, good, let's get into our combo now. So imposter syndrome is something I've been talking about and doing episodes on, for I, I guess about the past three months or so. So it's a real thing and we don't really deal with it, which is a larger problem. But tell our audience what is imposter syndrome.

Speaker 2: 5:54

Yeah, imposter syndrome is the secret feeling of being a fraud when you're not a fraud, and the fear of being found out. So it's a self-doubt, it's a nagging feeling that you're not quite good enough wow.

Speaker 1: 6:11

Who does that impact?

Speaker 2: 6:12

yeah, it affects over 70 percent of high achievers at some point in their career. So you go to top level and this is across all industries, so it's acting, it's athletics, it's business, it's even parenting, it's absolutely everywhere. And so 70%. So you look at a group of 10 people in any of those places and seven of them have this nagging self-doubt that they're not quite good enough, even though they're performing at their top level.

Speaker 1: 6:53

That's a high number. Tell us what imposter syndrome is not, because I've heard something that, yes, people have some minds that it is, but they're kind of totally off about it. What is what is imposter syndrome not? Or what is not impossible that we're seeing?

Speaker 2: 7:10

yeah. So it is not being a beginner. It is not that you have little experience and you're learning stuff now. That's uncomfortable as well and that can cause you to feel like you're doubting yourself and not quite good enough, but that's not the same as imposter syndrome. This is why people in their 40s, 50s and even 60s at the top of their game still feel imposter syndrome. It's also not a women's issue.

Speaker 2: 7:36

So there were early studies done. It was first identified in 1978. And the original studies were done on female graduate students and it was thought at the time to be a women's issue because the surveys showed that women identified imposter syndrome more than men. It took maybe 15 years until research finally was made completely anonymous and then the numbers came out equal. So what this research had captured was a cultural trend right across the world where men were less willing, less able to express or reveal what they thought to be a weakness in themselves. So it's split equally between men and women. And yeah, and finally, it's not you, it's not your personality. There's no imposter syndrome personality profile. Researchers were trying for years to figure out what type of person got imposter syndrome. It's nothing to do with that. It's a belief that's embedded quite deeply in your brain, in the fear center of your brain, that you're not quite good enough.

Speaker 1: 8:56

So is it wise for us to separate that from somebody who has low self-esteem already or somebody who has a lack of confidence because maybe they had a rough childhood and they weren't encouraged in certain ways? Should we separate that from imposter syndrome? How do we do that? Because sometimes people might think it's too hard to understand.

Speaker 2: 9:14

Absolutely so. If you had low self-esteem, it would show up in all areas of your life. It would be a general thing, it was a way that you would feel about yourself. Imposter syndrome can be quite narrow, like you might do a range of things that you're capable, you're confident with, and yet there's one thing that trips you up. Right, so it might be, you know, in business, a whole bunch of you know you can do the management part, you can do the project part, you can do the leading part, but the financials are like, oh, you don't want to touch those and it generates this resistance, this fear. You'd be good, fight, flight freeze. It really triggers you and so that's imposter syndrome. So it's not everything. And confidence also. You know people with imposter syndrome. They're generally confident, they're not unconfident people, but when they have, when I have this feeling of not being quite good enough, it feels like a temporary lack of confidence, but it absolutely isn't.

Speaker 1: 10:18

Wow. So what actually triggers it? I mean, I feel like, personally, my, my understanding of it, which is not super broad, but I know I've experienced it, especially recently, but I know I've experienced it especially recently. So it's not I'm not, I'm not immune to it, but what actually triggers imposter syndrome in your opinion? Love to hear your assessment on that yeah, so.

Speaker 2: 10:40

So there are several things that triggers that trigger it. So the what triggers it specifically will be very personal to you. Um, underlying it is basically the root cause of imposter syndrome is a belief that your worth as a person depends on what you do. So you haven't separated out your actions from your worth and that's where it comes up. So something will kind of poke that belief and that will trigger it for you and it's different for everyone. So you know there's different, different profiles, different symptoms of imposter syndrome different people have because we're very different. But root of it is that our worth depends on what we do.

Speaker 1: 12:10

Okay, I want to get into a couple of other other areas here, but you mentioned something about high challenge and low support. Hold on to that for a second. I want to give a shout out to our listeners and viewers that are watching and listening. If you have a question for tara in regards to imposter syndrome or a story you want to share, by all means please drop it into the live chat. Drop it in the comment section, wherever you view in the episode. We'll jump into it as soon as we can maybe even have tara answer it directly to you. So send your comments and questions and your thoughts in. We answer those as soon as we can. So, tara, I'll ask you about high challenge and low support, as I guess as triggers, explain that to us a little bit better, please yeah, so.

Speaker 2: 12:51

So if you're in the situation high pressure, high stakes, high challenge situation and you do have no support, then the gap between those two makes you more susceptible to this self-doubt, this, this, am I good enough? Or the the belief getting triggered so you can. What can help is to to build up more support. Now, that can sometimes be difficult because a lot of people with imposter syndrome they don't like asking for help. They feel like it's cheating or it's unacceptable or they should be strong enough to do it all themselves. It's a very common feeling. So so, yeah, so, if you can build up the support, um, what some people do is they try and reduce the challenge so they don't go for the next promotion. They hide their ideas. Yes to to to feel more comfortable, reduce the challenge, but then, of course, they end up with regret. You know, know, these very capable, competent people are not shining to their full abilities. They're not, they're not working at the best level that they can, and it's disappointing.

Speaker 1: 14:06

Well, that is disappointing, I think. I think I've done it to myself or allowed it to be done to myself several times in my corporate career, so it is regrettable. Tell me now. It sounds like one of the causes of this is kind of a surround around, a false belief about what our worth and our value is right. Where does that belief come from, in your opinion? Where do you think that comes from?

Speaker 2: 14:34

right. Where does that belief come from, in your opinion? Where do you think that comes from? Yeah, well, this was from work done in the 1950s by the granddaddy of personal psychology, carl Rogers. And so, basically, when a baby's born, there's all this information coming in through their senses, like the sight, sound, taste, touch, and the brain has no structure for it. It can't identify it, it's just experiencing things. And as a child grows, the brain starts to put labels and boxes and structures and frameworks so it understands what's going on. And between 18 months and three years old, one of the things structures the brain puts in place is the sense of self, who I am. I'm actually a separate person. I'm not the. I'm not. I'm different from the dog, I'm different from the table, I'm different from different from my brother. So so that's in.

Speaker 2: 15:30

And at that point it would have been the perfect point to separate out this idea that your worth as a human being depends on what you do. But for the vast majority of people and this is 99.999% of people, most people that distinction was never made, that separation was never made. So you'll see, it was never made. That separation was never made. So you'll see it. People are told good girl, good boy, bad girl, bad boy, right. So they are bad because of what they've done, and so that's why it never gets separated out. So it's not like even we were specifically taught this, but we were never taught how to unlearn that and separate it out.

Speaker 1: 16:18

Wow, I want to get into some of the symptoms and also deal with some of the triggers and eliminating those. But we've got a question coming in from a friend of the show from the Back it Up Binge podcast. My guy, jb, has a question for you. He says how many people does Tower Think has some form of imposter syndrome? Seems more common than people think when they hear the term. What do you think about that Tower? You can answer that right away.

Speaker 2: 16:42

Yeah, 70%, 7-0, which is a huge number 7 out of 10 in any group, particularly a high-performance group that you go into.

Speaker 1: 16:53

Are we national Tower or are we talking about globally that's, 70% globally, worldwide or national?

Speaker 2: 17:00

It's global. It's global, so they've done studies all over the world and it comes out very consistent. You know, there are some studies that go as high as 82% as well.

Speaker 1: 17:10

Wow, Good morning. Triple B's in the house. Good morning guys. So when you say 82%, where did that figure come from? Is that under a different circumstance than the 70?

Speaker 2: 17:24

It's just a different research study. So the research studies, they kind of come out around about 70%, but some go as high as go as high as 82 percent wow, that's incredible.

Speaker 1: 17:37

That's incredible. This is the. This is the real thing. I don't know if I think we're enlightening people today, because I don't think people understand. This is a.

Speaker 2: 17:47

This is a problem you know, because because people are starting to become more aware of it. From 1978 to 2015, pretty much nobody was aware of it. Nobody identified it. 2015, it started. Google shows that it started to become more and people are talking about it and it's grown. So more and more people are aware of it, but still a lot of people don't talk about it. They think, wrongly, that it's a weakness or a flaw and and so they don't want to talk about it. They're ashamed of it. Um, but it's nothing to do with your personality. So this is why people get surprised when they say it's this many, because everyone thinks oh, it's just me and you're really not alone wow, this, this is, this is.

Speaker 1: 18:35

I hope we have enough time to get into all the questions that I have for you, because this is a lot going on here. But what are some of the symptoms? I guess, maybe two or three, that you have symptoms of imposter syndrome. What are those?

Speaker 2: 18:48

Yeah. So there's three types of symptoms. One's the thoughts, and the thoughts are self-doubt, self-criticism, overthinking, feeling you're not good enough, thinking you just got lucky and you'll never be able to repeat that performance. So that's the thoughts that drives the nervous system. So the nervous system gets triggered. So the second set of symptoms is physiological. We go into a nervous system state of fight, flight and freeze, which is the body's kind of survival mode. It's what it does in a crisis. Um, it creates tension. You might have poor sleep, anxiety, overwhelm, and then to try and cope with that stress, which is basically what it is then there are typical behavioral responses like coping responses like perfectionism over preparing, comparing that, not going for promotions or not speaking up enough that I mentioned, feeling like you have to push through, feeling like you don't have enough qualifications when you really do, and and pushing through more procrastination is a big one as well I mean, I can hear why this is the problem, but maybe just because I've done research on it myself and I've done some episodes on it.

Speaker 1: 20:08

I've even done a talk on it recently. So I guess I I get it, but for our listeners and viewers that may not get why this is a problem. Can you kind of explain in more detail why this is a problem? I know we're talking about things regarding focus and productivity and stuff, but there seems to be so much more to it that makes it a problem for anybody that's trying to accomplish anything. Can you kind of dig a little? Can you burrow a little deeper into why imposter syndrome was a problem that we need to identify number one and then start dealing with the process of eliminating it? Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 20:42

Yeah, yeah. So the problem is, you know so, the symptoms, the thinking symptoms. They're distracting, they're demoralizing, they're disempowering and they make you more reactive, you say of emotional response, you make you more reactive, defensive, and they just take so much mental energy, particularly churn, that rumination where you're thinking things over and over and over again. And then the physiological stress symptoms. That's just exhausting, and chronic stress can lead to chronic illnesses as well. It lowers your immune system, it drags your energy down, you're less able to focus. And then the behaviors, like the procrastination, the perfectionism. They're just the opposite of what you want to do. When you want to be productive, when you want to operate at your best, you're not able to be so creative because you're bogged down and your time is such. It takes up all of this time and energy and attention in yourself that you're not fully present with the people around you because it's so, so distracting wow.

Speaker 1: 21:59

I wonder people even realize this has been going on over this time. This is, this is this is astounding because anybody's a creative person like myself I don't even haven't even connected the dots, that's. You know. This is the reason why I'm distracted, I'm losing focus and I can't function in this creative space, and I didn't put those two things together. So this is like this is incredible. A lot of your work tower is about eliminating triggers. What is a trigger actually, and how do you eliminate that with your work and what you're doing?

Speaker 2: 22:30

yeah, so so, um, the brain has a series of triggers that it's looking out for dangers, right? So there's a part of your brain called the amygdala, the fear center of the brain, and it's basically got a list of things that are dangerous, and if the situation looks like it matches this list, then it triggers your nervous system and then you react with the stress, with the imposter syndrome behaviors or all of this. So, um, the the work that I do is removing that one list item, which is my worth depends on what I do, and we do that in a very systematic way, and so and I think it has to be said we're working at the unconscious level here, because these are automatic triggers. They've been set up automatically by the brain. It's not a mindset solution. We're not thinking our way out of it. We actually have to remove those triggers.

Speaker 1: 23:32

I love that part about not thinking your way out of it, because that's what I would try to do.

Speaker 2: 23:39

I love that. Thank you, yeah, I mean some. Some people say, well, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself you're, you're enough, and it's like well, no, cause you've got a brain going. Oh, no, no, you don't. We're not going to let go Because the brain is very highly tuned to keep you alive and it's not going to let go of its list of dangers unless you do a very specific process.

Speaker 1: 24:05

Wow, that is incredible. One of the things that, first of all, I want to hear some victories from stories of people who have been on your program that have seen dramatic changes. Hopefully you can share some of those for us. But I want to ask about this Many of our listeners are podcasters and content creators really good friends of mine. Many of them, and I've kind of seen them, go through the ups and downs when it comes to being creative and focusing and staying on it, on a consistent program of recording and putting out content, just being consistent and engaging with their listeners and viewers, et cetera, so that content creators and podcasters go through all the time and many of them are listening now or will be listening to the replay. How would you advise us about imposter syndrome, specifically because of what we do? How would you help us out?

Speaker 2: 24:58

Yeah, so some of the things that I see with podcasters is certainly comparing right, which is one of one of them you can play that part again.

Speaker 1: 25:09

That might be. That might be the uh, the mic drop of the day. Say that part again.

Speaker 2: 25:14

So it's comparing. It's comparing what you've done and subtext who you are with all these other fantastic podcasters and they're looking great, right, so they only post on the socials fantastic and everything like that, and it looks like everyone else is doing really well and they look confident and capable and and you're and you've got this self-doubt am I, am I good enough? It was that show good enough? And you might then spend, you know, five hours editing your podcast show to try and make it perfect. You might re-record your introduction 17 times just to get it just perfect. Um, you know, this is, this, is you is. You might have spent two days researching those one guest. So you're asking just the right questions. So you can hear how exhausting that is right and they're just-, it sounds like.

Speaker 2: 26:11

I'm exhausted. Yeah, they're common ones.

Speaker 1: 26:17

Oh my goodness. Well, I hope everybody heard that got some help with that one. That's incredible One thing. I always Sorry Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 26:26

I was going to say that you know most of the work that I do I mean, as I've described is, you know it's a 90-day program, it's deep work to you know, remove these triggers from the unconscious brain. But there is one thing that you can do that help with comparing, and this I think people will like. So if you notice yourself comparing, right, you're not going to stop comparing. People say stop comparing.

Speaker 2: 26:50

You can't do that because your brain's wired to look for differences, just in case there's a danger there. So you know you're driving along past a field of cows, there's a bright purple cow, right, your brain's going to go oh, what's that? Just to check out is not dangerous. So you can't stop yourself comparing. But when you notice yourself comparing, what you can do instead is you can stop looking for the differences and start looking for the similarities, consciously, deliberately saying how am I the same as that person? What experiences do we have in common? What values do we have in common? What connections do we have? And the more you do that you can make a list, the more you will feel like them, the more you'll feel like you belong, and that really helps.

Speaker 1: 27:35

I love that. That's a great. Looking for the similarities and not the differences. Okay, I love that, that's really great. I'm looking for the similarities and not the differences. I love that, that's really good. Thank you, tara. One thing I always do when anybody comes on our show and they know to get ready, I prep them in advance. If they call themselves a coach, mentor or expert in any way, I'm going to, to some degree, challenge them a little bit and said you know what, in order for you to be a coach in this area or a mentor leader in this area, you had to have experienced it yourself. So I wanted to ask you did you have imposter syndrome yourself?

Speaker 2: 28:07

I did. I didn't recognize it as imposter syndrome, but I did. When I just left university, I applied to join a graduate trainee program. This was in engineering, a graduate trainee program with General Electric, ge, you know, big global company and they did psychometric tests of all their graduate trainees. And so they did my test and they came back and they said I'm sorry, we're not going to offer you a graduate trainee position. Oh, I say no, they said because your profile shows, you know, it's quite unusual, it's what we commonly see in our top leaders. So we'd like to offer you a fast track management position to kickstart your career with us.

Speaker 2: 28:54

So you would think, and everyone I tell this to, I've got oh wow, that's amazing. No, internally I'm like, oh's amazing. No, internally I'm like oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh yeah, it sounded to me like an invitation to fail. It sounded to me like it would be so exposing for them to. And then what if I wasn't a good leader? What is a fail? This is all unconscious. I just told myself that sounds boring, which it didn't. But I told myself it sounds boring. And I went back to university and I did my phd because that was my comfort zone, because I knew I was learning.

Speaker 2: 29:32

So very big change in my entire life path there, huge, you know, and that is impossible and that's the kind of thing that that can, can happen every time from imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1: 29:47

Wow, what a story you missed out on something big huh. Yeah, help us, uh, to some degree maybe. Try to be detectives, because I feel like imposter syndrome is so big I'm not sure that this short episode is going to cover it all this. Just try to be detectives, because I feel like imposter syndrome is so big I'm not sure that this short episode is going to cover it all. There just seem to be so many layers to this thing, just going into the details, but the productivity and the creativity and just the thing to hold us back, lowering our focus. There's so much here. Help us kind of be detectives, if you don't mind. Can you spot imposter syndrome in other people and how can we spot it in ourselves or in others?

Speaker 2: 30:25

right, it's really hard to spot imposter syndrome in other people. Um, because people don't share it and because they they're looking capable and confident, then they're not revealing any of this doubt, or very little of this doubt. So it's very hard to see. You might notice if somebody's a little bit perfectionist or does a little bit procrastination. You might notice, but it won't stand out to you as, oh, that person has imposter syndrome. It's not going to be like that. So it's really hard to see in anyone else. So if you're leading a team, it's hard to see in your team.

Speaker 1: 31:01

You very likely won't be able to see it in your team. Oh, I was hoping I could.

Speaker 2: 31:06

I need for my teams, oh, my goodness, okay you know, you know, I think this was one of the there's a lot of research being done on personality profiles and imposter syndrome and I think it's for exactly that reason the idea that, oh, if we can weed it out, we just won't hire people with imposter syndrome. And I think it's for exactly that reason, the idea that, oh, if we can weed it out, we just won't hire people with imposter syndrome. It's like no, no, can't do that, and it's not the personality, yeah, so what you can do for yourself, the easiest, fastest, easiest thing to do is there is a quiz it's kind of like gold standard quiz of you know imposter syndrome behaviors, and we can put a link in the notes to um to that quiz.

Speaker 1: 31:43

And people already done oh yeah, I'm ready. I got your back.

Speaker 2: 31:48

Brilliant, brilliant. So so the quiz if you get over 50%, then imposter syndrome is is significant in your life. If you get over 62% this is another piece of research then it's having a significant impact in your life. If you get over 62% this is another piece of research then it's having a significant impact in your life and that is really it'd be. Don't ignore it. It'd be something to look at. There are a bunch of different approaches to imposter syndrome. There's coaching, not really therapy. It's not a mental dysfunction, so it's not a psychological dysfunction, but so not really therapy. But there's some coaching, some training that you can do, or the work, like mine, to get rid of the root cause of it, which then is gone forever.

Speaker 1: 32:30

I love that. I make sure this can be in the notes on all of our socials as well. But before we close out, I'd love for you to share at least two or three success stories from your program. If you can do that, I'd love to talk about what we're talking about because it matters. It's definitely impacted me personally. I still battle with it. I think a lot of my friends and associates and cohorts do too. If we're being honest, I'd love to hear success stories. That's kind of inspiring Great way to close the show out. I think it's kind of inspiring. Yeah, stories from people who have walked through your program and the results they've seen. Love to hear that, please.

Speaker 2: 33:07

So there's one guy I'll call him Brian who was the. He was a chief operating officer in a multi-billion dollar hedge fund in a multi-billion dollar hedge fund. So we're talking very, very high profile, very high performer, high stakes environment. And he was promoted to CEO when a new board came in. There was a buyout, new board came in, but he was their second choice and that crushed him, because his first choice was the lead. Their first choice was the lead trader. And then the shareholders rebelled and they said no, no, we don't put the best trader in, let's put somebody who's more of a manager type person.

Speaker 2: 33:52

And so he would dread the board meetings. Every three months they had these board meetings and he would dread them. So he would lose two nights of sleep, he would procrastinate and he'd bring his report like a naughty schoolboy with his homework. That's late, you know. He had that feeling. It certainly wasn't empowered.

Speaker 2: 34:13

So he was a third of the way through the program, through our 90-day program, and he changed how he approached the board meeting. So he stopped procrastinating, which was great. He was fine to sleep and so he went into that meeting feeling like he was a peer right. So this is a good place to be. Well, it didn't stop there because after the program it was a month before his next board meeting when he finished. Now he was doing it even different. So now he was contacting the board members proactively, discussing things, lining things up, getting all the comments and objections and arguments ahead of time. So he was really comments and objections and arguments ahead of time. So he was really leading the board and that was for him the most exciting, empowering change. And we hadn't done anything about his skills. We hadn't done anything about his mindset or techniques, anything. We just got rid of that imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1: 35:16

Wow, no, that's amazing. I love his success stories like that. You have any more that you want to share?

Speaker 2: 35:22

yeah. So um, uh, one, um, uh let's call him peter, so peter, because obviously confidentiality um so, um, peter had a problem with reactivity. Right, he, he would go into, you know, fight flight. He would go into fight, flight, freeze, he would go into fight mode. So he was in a medical software supply company. So he'd go into the hospitals to meet with the consultants, the very high-level consultants within the medical world, and selling them this brilliant software revolutionary and a lot of them were, you know, characters, and they would argue with him and if someone started arguing with him, it would trigger him into fight, he would get defensive and it would start off a row. It would start off not a physical fight, but you know. So these meetings would just fall apart and of course he lost, you know, respect, credibility and didn't make the sales. So the shift for him was that he was no longer after the program, he was no longer reactive.

Speaker 1: 36:37

So when one of these consultants started arguing with him.

Speaker 2: 36:39

He was just calm, under pressure, he didn't take it personally. He actually could stay there present and, you know, negotiate and answer back and it and it changed because he was a a lead in his company. It changed the the whole business his ability to remain who he really was and with all his capabilities.

Speaker 1: 37:06

Oh, I love that. I love that. This is fantastic. I'm so glad that you were here with us to share this. This has been insightful. I expect that the next time you're doing more books that you want to come back on to our show. What you brought has been super insightful and I'm so grateful for it. If you guys are thinking about taking the free imposter syndrome quiz, which I highly recommend, it has a personalized report with it. It's wwwcompletesuccesscouk forward slash quiz. It's right here on the screen. It's also in the show notes and in the comments section so you can find it very, very easily wwwcompletesuccesscouk forward slash quiz. I have one final question for you. All of our guests get this question. It's usually the toughest question of the show for some people, but I put it in here. If you were not doing the authoring of books and being an expert coach in imposter syndrome, what is Tara doing? I've already heard the answer from our chat, but I'd love for you to share it with our listeners and viewers what?

Speaker 2: 38:09

would you be doing? Oh my gosh, Because I'm doing right now what my dream job is, basically.

Speaker 1: 38:19

No, no, no, You're all out on the table right now. What I, what my dream job is basically so so all right.

Speaker 2: 38:26

So when I was born, my father had this vision of me as an opera singer. He said you know with with, you know a viking. You know a Viking helmet with horns and rawr. So I have recently discovered, after all my life thinking that I was a bad singer, that I couldn't sing I have recently, just 18 months ago discovered that I'm not a bad singer. I'm actually just not a soprano, I'm an alto, which is the lower range, so I can't hit the high notes, and I always thought that I couldn't sing because I couldn't hit the high notes. So now I'm in a choir and two weeks ago we were singing in Salisbury Cathedral. I mean, it was just incredible. So that is something which is really heartfelt and for me. I don't think I could ever be an opera singer. I'm not that good, but at least I can sing in a choir and I'm loving that.

Speaker 1: 39:29

I love that. I love the story you shared about that pivotal moment when you're 11 years old and and singing, and you love the music and how it's grown. I'm excited that we're going to be in touch with each other. I want you to send me videos of you singing. I want to hear it and see it and kind of celebrate with you. But go ahead. What do you want to say? Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 39:51

No, no, we have some. I can say I will send it to you.

Speaker 1: 39:56

I think we're already connected on social media. If we're not, let's please get there. But thank you, tyler, this is fantastic. I believe that if anybody was listening and watching intently, you got something out of this real-life imposter syndrome and you might have gotten yourself some help, I know I did. Thanks again for all of your thoughts here and the comments and the questions coming in from you guys. Thanks for watching and listening.

Speaker 2: 40:23

Tyler, any closing thoughts before we, uh, close the episode down? Yeah, three things. It's. It's not you right, it's not your personality, you're not alone and there is something you can do about it, so don't just put up with it I love it.

Speaker 1: 40:36

Thank you, that was that's all good advice. The show has been fantastic. If you're watching and listening, of course, please subscribe to our YouTube channel, youtubecom, at theycallmemisteryou. Of course, you can find us on all of our social media platforms our website, theycallmemisteryoubuzzsproutcom. We'll give you access to all of our social media links. If you can find me, send me, shout out messages or just follow our work, and you can follow tara. All the information is going to be in the show notes and, of course, on our youtube channel in the comment section. You can find all of her work there and her uh websites and you can kind of uh be able. I also forgot almost forgot that you also are booking a 15 minute call with anybody from our audience that wants to maybe have some help. You still doing that from your website yeah, absolutely so.

Speaker 2: 41:21

There's a book, a call button on the website, and you know it's completely free and we'll have a chat that's the same website.

Speaker 1: 41:29

Complete success right complete success, yeah, very, very good. Thank you very much for joining us, tara and mr you, we're out of here. Thanks again for watching and listening. Have a great day.