The 5 Most Influential: Rethinking Who We Align With

Hey, Friends and Family.

Even in the months of the podcast season when things are slow, we have content for you. Our team thought it a great idea to start reviewing previous (but timely) episodes of our show during the times that Mista Yu is away from the microphone. All of these episodes (or beautiful Blasts from the Past) were previously broadcast, but we are sharing them with you at a time when you might need them most. Hope you enjoy!

One To Grow On:

This is the toughest conversation many of us may have, but it is the one we absolutely must have. Our team thought that based on the current climate, this would be an ideal episode to reload for all of our new listeners and those that have been with us for years. Enjoy!

The impact of our social circles on our personal growth and development cannot be understated, especially during divisive times like election season. Who we spend time with directly influences our mindset, opportunities, and future trajectory.

• The five people you spend the most time with shape who you become
• Like standing near a smoker, negative people affect you even if you don't adopt their habits
• "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future" is more than just a saying
• The Crab Bucket syndrome: when people pull you down to stay at their level
• True friends love you too much to leave you where you are
• Being a "diehard" fan in sports can translate to harmful blind loyalty in other areas
• We often attach ourselves to groups without researching what they truly stand for
• Evaluate relationships based on how they affect your spiritual, physical, mental, emotional and financial health

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Your Inspiration Station
• 2:41 The Company You Keep
• 6:00 The Five People In Your Life
• 9:04 True Friends vs Crab Bucket Syndrome
• 15:09 The Diehard Mentality
• 21:09 Making Informed Choices
• 27:14 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Thanks again for listening to one-on-one with Mr U and your Inspiration Station. I'm really excited about today's episode and a chance to share another compelling story with all of you that I really hope changes your tomorrow. Let's not waste another minute, let's get into it. Happy friday, everybody. Welcome to the all-purpose pod for an all-purpose life, and I'm your coach, mr you come on. After this crazy week, guys, you might need a little extra this morning. Here we go. Here we go. A lot to shake off this week, right, guys? Well, you conquered Monday, tuesday, wednesday and Thursday. So congratulations, you made it to the end of the week. You did it.

Speaker 1: 1:20

Some might ask I don't know how I got here, I don't know how I did it, but in fact you did. And I don't know if it's been crazy in your neck of the woods, but it's been a crazy week Election season. So did you guys take care of that business? Did you hit the polls this week? Was your voice heard? I know there's a lot going on. You can turn your TV on to the news, you can go into your social media timelines and you can see it. There's a lot going on out there. I'm not going to belabor the point, but I hope that you guys are doing well this week, hope you guys are feeling good about where you are and where you're headed and hopefully this episode will help you kind of get there, help you encourage, help you to be encouraged a little bit where you're headed.

Speaker 1: 2:18

Got some things on my mind this week that I definitely want to hit hard on today's episode. You know, one of the things that I noticed, especially during times like these election season, with all the politics and all the back and forth and all that's going on I'm realizing something as well that the people that we associate with they have an impact on us. Now, I know that's not really news to most of you. You can figure that out Whoever you hang around has an effect on you. If you hang around negative people who are always backbiting and talking about other people, well, that's kind of your atmosphere, that's your space that you're in. It's just like if somebody stands next to you and they're a friend of yours and they're an avid smoker, Even if you don't smoke, you're affected by their decisions. Not saying you're going to get cancer, but you're exposed to the kind of things that would cause cancer. You're exposed to somebody who is smoking that may cause you to be affected by what they do. It's not much different than social media or any other kind of interaction. Who you're around makes a difference. It affects you. We can say it doesn't, but it really does. It affects your mindset. It affects how you think.

Speaker 1: 3:45

We're going to talk about that in some great detail on today's pod. I want to ask you a question, guys, something to think about. We can discuss it on Twitter, at TCM, mr U T-C-M-M-I-S-T-A-Y-U, or on our Facebook page at TheyCallMeMrU. But who are the five people you spend the most time with? You may have to think about it. Get a piece of paper, write it down. This is going to be important.

Speaker 1: 4:18

Your social circles are definitely important to your growth and development, and here they call me, mr you. This is what we talk about every single week. We talk about the five facets of health spiritual, physical, mental, emotional and financial but your social circles play a part in your health. In all those categories, in all those facets, they play a part in your growth and development. As your coach, I want to encourage you guys to get back in the game. Who you're around can positively or negatively affect that. So who are the five people you spend the most time with. Write those names down, look at them. What do they bring to the table? Are they just a shoulder for you to cry on when you're feeling down, or do they give you a kick in the pants and say get back in this game, you can do this. What do they bring to the table? In times like these, it's time to evaluate that.

Speaker 1: 5:19

I had a friend, an old employee I'm pretty sure she's not listening to the podcast, but she is. I doubt she'd be offended by what I'm going to say, but she was very, very upset a couple of days ago because people who she's known for years family have decided to cut her off because of who she was going to vote for or who she voted for. Long-term relationships severed because of her voting choice. She was very upset by that. She tried to hide it a little bit, but you can tell she was really, really upset. Who are the five people you spend the most time with? What value do they bring to your life? How is your life better or worse? Because they're there. Time to make some evaluations, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 1: 6:12

I heard a chaplain say once show me your friends and I'll show you your future. I think that's pretty powerful. Many, I know, don't believe that, but sometimes you don't realize the impact that people have on us. I don't mean just mentors and life coaches, I don't mean teachers and administrators, I don't mean employers, I don't even mean your mom and dad or your siblings, but everybody in your life that you allow to be in your siblings, but everybody in your life that you allow to be in your space, that you share details of your life with, that you ask advice from. They all have a voice, an impact On your life, on your trajectory and where you're headed.

Speaker 1: 7:05

A wise and famous philosopher once said I can't forget these words. He said friends how many of us have them? Friends, ones we can depend on? Really profound? Where's that come from? There's a Proverbs, chapter 13, verse 20. This is also in the Bible, of course. He that walks with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Then your parents tell you many, many years ago watch out for the company you keep. That was a mantra in my household. Watch out who you associate with. We didn't think mom and dad knew what they were talking about way back then. But it makes a difference. It makes an impact.

Speaker 1: 8:01

I had a story that I'll probably share one day, maybe in an article on a future podcast. I was associated with someone who I thought was a friend. I didn't have any intentions, no ill will towards anybody, but my friend wanted to do something that was illegal. He wants to take from somebody else because he felt he earned it or he deserved it because he didn't have and and in my association with him I found trouble, legal trouble, and that's really hidden for me, because I think about the impact that people have in your life. When you spend time with them and who you associate with, the company you keep, it makes a difference. A true friend loves you too much to leave you where you are. See, I know a lot of friends that don't mind staying where you are. Mind you staying where you are because they're there as well?

Speaker 1: 9:03

That old crab bucket syndrome you can put 50 crabs in a bucket without a lid on it and they'll never leave. You know why? Because as soon as the first crab tries to climb out of the bucket, the other ones are pulling back down. Do you have a friend like that that pulls you back down to stay where they are? If you even think about trying to rise up. They're offended by that. They verbally assault you. One of the crazy parts about that crab bucket scenario is that after a certain amount of time, when crabs try to continue to climb out of the bucket and the other crabs try to pull them back down, they'll break the claws of the crab that's trying to leave, basically hindering them from ever trying to get out of that bucket again. Sounds pretty vicious. Guess that's the animal kingdom. But we got people in our life that do the same thing to us. They try to cripple us so we never think about leaving again.

Speaker 1: 10:10

Something to think about. You can't fall for those kind of friends in your life. You can't fall for that trick. Even a little bit of communication corrupts good manners, good action, a right mindset. Just a little bit of that is dangerous to the whole. If I give you a glass of water and pour a little dirt in it, it's no longer clean water. It's a little bit of a speck of dirt, of gravel, just a little bit. It changes the whole dynamic of that water. It's no longer clean water anymore. It's been infiltrated by something that's not clean. Think about your friendships like that. Think about your heart like that. Who do you your heart like that? Who do you want to be a part of your life? What do they bring to the table? It's time for you to start vetting people in your life.

Speaker 1: 11:00

I look at our social media and all of the vitriol and the back and forth and I look at all the friends that comment and by friends I am doing finger quotes, by the way, in case you were wondering All those friends finger quotes, by the way, in case you were wondering All those friends finger quotes. They're leaving comments commiserating with you and telling you how great you are and how bad they are, how right you are and how wrong they are. Ask yourself the question I've asked many times on my Facebook page and to myself are these my friends? Can I find true value in them? How do they affect my career, my family, my environment, my ability to accumulate wealth, the fulfilling of my purpose, my health? How do they affect that? It's time to start asking those questions, especially now, especially in this season. So who are those five people that you spend the most time with? What value do they bring to the table? Something to start thinking about.

Speaker 1: 12:14

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Speaker 1: 13:11

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Speaker 1: 13:35

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Speaker 1: 14:03

So think about that last question. It's definitely going to make a difference. It's definitely going to matter. Who are those five people in your life that you spend the most time with. Even if it's your mom or dad, they still have an influence. My only question to you is is it a good influence? Does it help propel you to your destiny or does it keep you in a box of sorts or a crab bucket? You know one of the things that it's a topic that's dear to my heart, because I'm a huge sports fan. Do we have any sports fans out there with us? Y'all listening?

Speaker 1: 14:52

Today we hear something that's a common term in sports Not the only place, but that's what we hear the most that's being a diehard. Not the Christmas movie or the maybe not a Christmas movie, but the maybe not a Christmas movie. But a diehard is defined as a determined person, somebody that's devoted, somebody that's even fanatical. Now, what comes to mind when you hear that? Fanatical, strongly and fanatical, fanatically, determined, excuse me or devoted, unwilling or rigid to change, very loyal to a set of beliefs resistant to change? Now ask yourself is this a good thing. We having battles and fights about if LeBron is the GOAT or not. He's not, mj is, but whatever. We having battles about who's the best running back in football or who's the greatest quarterback, who's the best running back in football, or who's the greatest quarterback, who's the GOAT and we're having battles back and forth and we're screaming at each other and we're basically fanatical about what we believe, our team colors, who we root for.

Speaker 1: 16:10

If you go to the stadiums, it's even worse. I was at a game where I was living in Tampa at the time and my favorite team, the New York football giants, were playing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Obviously, this was a away game for us, but I was there and the kind of vitriol, the kind of intense anger and it was amazing to see this Much of it was directed at my wife and I. We had on Giants jerseys and the folks in Tampa that were in the stands, the fans that were there, some of them actually attacked us verbally. No taunting from us, no shouting, nothing. If our team made a great play, we would get up and cheer, clap our hands. Nothing more than that. I mean threats and verbal attacks. I'm like this is just a game, but those folks who try to exercise that kind of intimidation and those kind of threat tactics. They consider themselves diehard fans of their team. Now I think it kind of leads you a little bit and we're talking about sports, but in actuality we're not really talking about sports only.

Speaker 1: 17:41

I got an old article on our website, theycallmemryoucom. It's called the Die Hard Life. This is specifically for the sports fan, but I believe if you're even a casual sports fan or not a fan of sports at all, I think it'll still be valuable to you. I believe it's called a diehard life. It's going to be way in our archives on theycallmemryoucom. It's a pretty old article but I believe it'll help you think broader about the idea of being a diehard, not just in sports but perhaps in other ways. Diehard is almost the same, has the same connotation as being old school, being old fashioned, being buttoned up, traditional, being ultra conservative. The opposite of that might be open minded, progressive, liberal, unconventional, unorthodox, open-minded, progressive, liberal, unconventional, unorthodox. So the term dire heart goes beyond sports as we can see. It goes a little bit deeper.

Speaker 1: 18:44

Here's a question Do you think it's harmful to attach yourself to a group or circles of people without doing a little research, without getting a firm idea of what they're about, what they believe, what they stand for. If we're honest about it, we do that all the time. We attach ourselves without fully understanding what we're attaching to. It could be a sorority or fraternity. It could be a school organization or a political organization. It could be a political party. We're in election season, it's not hard to see the parallel there. It could be a friendship circle, like we talked about earlier in the pod, a social circle, sometimes talked about earlier in the pod. A social circle. Sometimes paying attention to the details makes all the difference.

Speaker 1: 19:44

You know, I ran into an article in the daily news. It's about some hometown folks from my hometown. That was so. They felt disenfranchised. Obviously, they felt as though their voices weren't heard in either the democratic or the Republican party and they really wanted to disassociate themselves from both. So and I have felt this, these kinds of same feelings, at a time or two, and and these people from my hometown decided that they wanted to go ahead and and go independent. They were not happy with things from a moral standpoint maybe, perhaps some of the issues that were being raised or not addressed in their communities, in their real world situations. They felt like now the party addressed those and I guess, in short, now the party cared about them. So they went to the polls to vote independent. Well, they missed a small detail and their lives were never, ever the same again, and I don't mean that in a good way.

Speaker 1: 20:56

I got an article on our website. It's the most recent one. I believe they call me mr youcom and the name of the article is called rock the vote. Once you guys to check it out, get on there and check it out. Love to hear your comments on the article. You can comment right at the reading, right at the bottom of the article. But it talks about that story in detail, even shares the link so you can comment right at the reading, right at the bottom of the article. But it talks about that story in detail, even shares the link so you can hear what happened. It went to go vote independent but something really bad happened in the process. Love you to go check that out and give us your views and what do you think about that? How does that speak to you? Even share some examples of what has happened to you that's similar. We'd love to hear about it. If we can Now that term, diehard.

Speaker 1: 21:42

It has a lot of attachments. The phrase is often used or applied to right-wing politics. I personally have never heard that before, but some of the research is showing that that has been a use in right-wing politics. I personally have never heard that before, but so many researchers showing that that has been a use in right-wing politics. I know that it was first used by a Lieutenant Colonel in by the name of William Inglis. He was under French attack in, I guess, the peninsula war and he used that as a rallying cry for his troops. He was wounded, under attack at the time and even though he could have retreated, he could have given up. He decided to stand and continue to fight their French opponents and that was his rallying cry to his troops Die hard, die hard. Now in hindsight, their French opponents, and that was his rallying cry to his troops Die hard, die hard. Now, in hindsight, I'm not sure that that's a great idea. Dying is not something that we are running towards. Generally speaking, of course, I believe that Lieutenant Colonel English was probably saying that we're not going out without a fight. I think that's what my modern day translation of that would be.

Speaker 1: 23:02

I got several friends man who call themselves diehard sports fans. They love their teams, they're proud of their cities, they bear their colors and they do it without shame. But they also do something else as well, something I want you guys to think about and caution against. They're really good at not seeing what's actually going on. They're really good at ignoring what they see. They're really good at ignoring the facts. I know guys that will tout a certain player, but the stats, the game-by-game stats, don't match up. But because that player plays on their team, that's all that matters and they can do no wrong. Now, I don't know if you want to apply that to the season that we're in. I don't know if any of this helps you re-evaluate who you side with, who you're involved with, who you associate with at the end of the day, those decisions with who you associate with At the end of the day, those decisions like we heard about in the proverb, those decisions make a difference in your trajectory, where you're headed.

Speaker 1: 24:30

Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. There's something to think about. Who wants to be in a companion of fools and be destroyed? Who had to walk with wise people and be wise? It's something to ponder, something we need to think about. So, guys, to give you a heads up, we got a fantastic offer I want to share with you guys, since Black Friday and Cyber Monday is coming up soon. They call me Mr U and Bluehost, offering you a special bonus offer Ends on November 30th at 11.59 PM.

Speaker 1: 25:14

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Speaker 1: 26:02

So, guys, what do you think?

Speaker 1: 26:05

Had it been helpful for you?

Speaker 1: 26:08

Are you able to see some differences in how you can approach your social circle? Do you see some ways that you can look at who you spend time with? Look for the value? I hope you do, man, we're so excited to have you joining us again this week. I hope that you share us on your social media, share us with friends and family. I believe there's something to be said for that. So hopefully, all that's going on in your life right now that you're encouraged. I hope that I've been a help to you in some small way. Help you get back in the game, to remind you that you're not alone and that we can't do life alone. You made it. You made it to the weekend.

Speaker 1: 26:56

I'm excited to be here with you guys. I'm excited to be your coach. Think about those questions. Join us on our social media platforms On Twitter, at TheyCallMeMrU, on Facebook. Love to hear back from you guys soon. Love to hear your opinions and thoughts and topic suggestions. We appreciate you guys. Thank you so much for joining us again. We appreciate it. I'm your coach. Get back in the game, baby coach out bye. Hi, it's Mr U. Hope you were inspired by what you heard today. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts and on our YouTube channel and please leave a comment and a review. This episode was made possible by the support of viewers and listeners just like you. Thanks.