Wi‑Fi Is Down, But Your Life Doesn’t Have To Be

Our team thought it was a great idea to start rewinding previous (but timely) episodes of our show during the times that Mista Yu is away from the microphone. All of these beautiful Blasts from the Past were previously broadcast, but we are sharing them with you at a time when you might need them most. Hope you enjoy the review!

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What if most of what we call “connection” is just access in disguise? We open up about the difference between collecting contacts and building relationships that actually change your life and your work. From the definition of connection as a door you must choose to walk through, to the quiet ways bad ties drain your energy and decision‑making, we map out how to evaluate the people and pipelines shaping your days.

Then we widen the lens. The pandemic made it painfully clear that humans are wired for real connection; isolation corroded our mental and physical health. Yet the answer isn’t more scrolling. It’s discerning, reciprocal ties that challenge your comfort zone and broaden your worldview. A raw personal story about a friend named Freddy shows how “useful” connections can backfire when character is missing. We close with three takeaways: connections can keep you stuck, you’re shaped by the pipelines you join, and good connections should make you better for yourself and others.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs a nudge to rethink their network. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: wh

Our team will choose random (but timely) episodes from our previous three seasons (which are our most popular ever!) to share with our listeners during the slower parts of a long podcast season. We think you will enjoy them! Thanks for listening!

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We love hearing from all of you about how you're enjoying our content! A really cool way you can do that is Fan Mail. Check out the promo and starting sending messages right away! It's easy and it's fun too! Trust me! Thank you for reaching out and allowing us the privilege of hearing from our faithful listeners and viewers! I can't wait to get your next message!

Chapters

• 0:00 Season Format Change
• 2:07 Why Connections Matter
• 5:37 Defining Real Connection
• 9:43 Mistaking Access For Connection
• 12:29 Choosing Disconnection And Its Costs
• 14:33 Sponsor Message
• 15:47 Business Connections Versus Real Growth
• 19:57 The Introduction Trap
• 22:57 A Music Mogul And Uneven Exchange
• 26:37 Vetting People And Terms
• 29:37 Skills Versus Who You Know
• 32:37 Clubhouse And Gatekept Access
• 37:07 Freelancing Through Life Without Roots
• 40:47 Read The Contract Before You Sign
• 43:27 Pandemic As A Connection Crisis
• 47:57 We’re Made To Connect
• 50:47 Fan Mail CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:44

Hey friends and friends, it's Mr. You. I think we're gonna be something different. It's best to be different out of some of the season. So starting this season, we're gonna release random but timely episodes from our first few seasons, which I gotta tell you are the most popular seasons of my entire podcast brand history. I think when you hear them, you'll know why they're so popular. It's gonna be great for new listeners and great also for long time listeners who've been following us for a while. So stay tuned. Thank you for watching us and for listening. Hope you enjoy this new experience. We're going into the archives. Here's a blast from the past right now. I think you'll enjoy. Have fun. On this episode of They Call Me Mr. You, the podcast, we'll be discussing the importance of connections, good and bad. We're talking relationships, baby, personal and professional. And by the end of this episode, you'll walk away with some tools to help you see good and bad connections in an entirely different light. We're gonna help you navigate through some life struggles, and perhaps you may rethink everything you thought you knew. If you free your mind, the rest will follow. We're going connection crazy today. On this episode of They Call Me Mr. You, which starts right now. What's up everybody? Welcome back to the All-Purpose Pod for an all-purpose life. Win your weekly membership before you go change the world. I'm your host, Mr. You welcome back to the all-purpose pod for an all-purpose life. We're your weekly mirror check before you go change the world. Wherever you are, and however you listen to our podcast today, thank you for making the call me Mr. You part of your morning, your day, and your week. We appreciate you guys. We're talking connections today. Most of the things that we see around us, whether it be in the media or whatever wherever it may be, in our social media, in the news around the world, around our nation, a lot of what we see that's negative can be tied to bad connections. We consider ourselves good judge of character. We think we can figure stuff out. We think we can be detectives and diagnose and discern people and things and ways and actions. But honestly, we're not as good at that as we thought we were. We don't do that great a job of discerning situations and things and people. We're not good at connecting. I would venture to say that we were born, we were made to connect with people. We're gonna flesh that out a little bit throughout the course of the episode, but it's something that we're made for, but we don't seem to be very adept at doing it. How do you spell connection? We're definitely gonna define it together today, and by the time the episode is over, you'll clearly see why this word has so many meanings and applications, and why our lives are so jacked up because we don't fully understand what connection entails. This 10-letter word isn't some cool nouveau popular phrase that we hear in business and in ethics and in social media. This word is a responsibility, and we fail in that when we don't fully understand our end of it. We're gonna talk about that in great detail today on the episode. So, how do you spell connection? The word connect literally means to bring together or into contact so that a real link is established, to provide a link or relationship with someone or something, form a relationship or affinity with another, to associate with and relate. What I see in that definition, and what you may also discern, is that the word connect essentially opens the door as an opportunity for you to do a B or C, to do something. It doesn't automatically make that something happen. Connect brings us together so that we can establish a real link, so that we can establish a real relationship, so that we can establish a real connection that goes beyond just the surface things and goes into a relationship, a bond, an association. Connection just opens the door. It's a conduit, it's an avenue, it's a way to establish a real authentic link between two parties or two entities. See, in today's world, connection to us means something different than perhaps what this definition is describing. To us, access to our social media accounts is connection to us. If we're logged into our Facebook and our Instagram and our Twitter accounts, to us that's connection. Having information at our fingertips, on our mobile devices, on our phones and iPads, that's connection to us in today's society. Having access to all the latest news, the politics, CNN and Fox News, the stock market, entertainment news, People Magazine, our favorite sports teams, what they're doing in free agency, what team they're gonna sign with, how much are they signing for? What was the score of last night's game? To us, in today's society, that's what connection sounds like to us. See, we can make sure we check our news and weather app so we know what's going on in the world. That's our so-called link to information. I got some friends that don't even watch the news, don't even watch television at all because they don't want to see or hear certain things. They prefer to be disconnected. They might be considered social hermits. I don't call them that, but one may ascribe that title to them. Some actually even believe that they're more pleasing to God if they see, hear, and witness less. Almost a way to insulate themselves in an act of self-protection. I'm not quite sure what their view of connection is that makes isolation of that kind the best solution to handle the woes of this world. Another topic for another day, I guess. But some people would rather be disconnected. They shut down all their social media accounts. They only use their phone to call there and talk to their loved ones and go out for brunch. They prefer to be connected with limits or semi-connected. See now, as long as we have an internet connection and Wi-Fi, we feel connected to what matters, right? What if your Wi-Fi goes out and you don't have a hot spot? Then what? How do you connect? I know people who will go into a full-blown frenzy because they don't have Wi-Fi, because they can't get onto the internet. So they can quote unquote connect. Now with the rise of social media, we can know what our families are doing, where our friends are going, where they've been, the status of our investments, what's happening on our favorite TV shows, and what's happening in the lives of the influencers, excuse me, that we love to follow. But what do we really know? Are we really connected? Are we really connected? All those things kind of sound as though we are, but are we really connected? One of the reasons why I wanted to have this discussion with you guys is because there are two areas where I see connections in such a different way. I'm seeing it with a more narrow focus than I ever have before. One area is in business. You know, I got people who I know that would be considered or they might consider me a business connection. Hey guys, it's Mr. You. You know how much Mr. U loves his coffee. I think I found the answer for all you guys that are health conscious but still love coffee. Strong Coffee Company. 15 grams of high quality protein, check. Sustain energy throughout the day, check. No jitters and crashes, check stress relievers like Aswagonda for your morning commute, check and double check. It's also good for your skin. Come on now. A healthy alternative that actually tastes good. I've arranged the highest exclusive discount for my listeners. Use the promo code strongcoffeecompany.com forward slash discount forward slash TCMY. That's what they call me, Mr. U. StrongCoffeeCompany.com forward slash discount forward slash TCMY. The link is also in the show notes. Check out Strong Coffee. Let me know what you think. To be honest, I don't I'm not totally sure what that means, but they might consider me a business connection. That means it doesn't mean that we do business together per se, but it just means that maybe we know each other through mutual business connections or we only talk to each other when it's about business and there's no relationship beyond that. Don't forget our definition about connection. It opens the door for an established authentic link or relationship or association. See, in business, connection means that you're linked up with somebody who has the ability to enhance or improve or help grow your business efforts. They could be a mentor, a coach, a consultant, some kind of advisor of sorts. In business, they help you to get from one place to another, to help grow from one point to another. The business ventures that my wife and I are involved with, that we're building, require us to be disciplined. Disciplined in what goes into our eye and ear gates, intentional about our spiritual and professional development, how we apply specific business principles, what we read and what we listen to. It requires us to take notes, make lists, practice what we learn, often teach it to others, train others to do the same thing to a successful end, hopefully. We have to duplicate and reproduce what we're receiving. That's a fruit of what we're connected with. It's not just saying, I'm connected to this person, and this person is successful. This person that's successful is connected to me. It's more than that. It's more than just that initial connection as we defined it earlier. There's a work to be done on our part after that connection is made. There have been times in my past where I was introduced to some of the most famous people in the music industry. I was introduced to some of the most famous people in the music industry. I was just introduced to them. That's it. So-and-so, this is so-and-so. So-and-so, this is so-and-so. It was just an introduction. A connection was made. But what was established? I think that we get connections all wrong in so many ways, not just in business, especially in personal, but in our social connections as well. We get it all wrong. An introduction was made, but that's all that happened. An action has to be taken after that in order to establish a relationship, an association. Some kind of building blocks have to be laid. Do you have business connections? What does your relationship or your business relationship consist of? Is it based on a barter system, a product for service kind of relationship? If you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours kind of arrangement? Forbes has an outstanding article on growing your business through relationships. And they have a lot of things to say about networking that many of you guys might find interesting and you might find it distressing. But what it says about networking to me is revolutionary, at least to my ears. The article is on our website under our latest article of the same title as the podcast. That'll be published within the next 16 hours or so. It's our fourth article. So you can check out the link on our latest article on the callmemisteryou.com in our blog section. Check it out. I think you're gonna enjoy the topic on uh networking as well as some of the insights about business connections and building business relationships the right way. I think you're gonna enjoy that. But as I as I was saying a couple minutes ago, I've been connected to a lot of famous people. Introductions, handshakes, even some head nods. I was just connected though. It doesn't mean anything by itself. Just to be connected is worthless if another subsequent action doesn't follow it. Here's an example of one of those kind of situations that I have for my past that I want to share with you guys. I told you before, I probably have mentioned that on several episodes, because I've been connected to a lot of people, especially back home in New York when I was in the music industry. I was connected with a very popular and legendary music mogul whose name I will not say over the airwaves today. But we wanted to be successful. I was part of a group and we didn't know how to do that. So obviously, and it was kind of part of the course where we come from, we followed famous people, successful people, and tried to green all we could from them. I mean, we could have tried to mimic what we saw, but how many of you know that just because somebody you know has a success a successful path doesn't mean you can walk the same path to the same destination and get the same result. We can't copy what someone else has done. We can't walk where someone else has walked, we can't go through what somebody else has gone through. Even if we both want the same thing, we gotta walk our own path to success. We gotta put in our own hard work, we gotta put in our own effort and strong work ethic. We gotta walk it out ourselves. But it's it's especially when you have somebody who's willing to show you how to be successful. There's a saying that your friend loves you the way you are, but your mentor loves you too much to leave you where you are. That's profound. I think it's something to think about, something to ponder. But this particular media mogul and music mogul, he was really only concerned about building his own brand. At first, we didn't realize that. We thought he was going to help us kind of learn what he learned and kind of glean from him and almost in a way mentor us, show us how to build what we were trying to accomplish. Not like what he was doing, but you tried to build success based on what we had going on and what we brought to the table. Share some tools and tricks to help us walk in some measure of success. But he was really more concerned about building his own brand, and anything that got in the way of that really wasn't allowed. His advice was more like crumbs than it was nuggets, if you know what I mean. It was minimal what we received. We did a lot of the work, but got very little of the help to help us turn that corner successfully. And we find out the hard way. One of the reasons why I don't want to mention the person's name is because I don't want to embarrass the person or their family or disparage their name. But they're very, very well known. I mean extremely well known. I mean, we were connected. My friends and I, we were connected to this person, but we had no tangible benefit in being connected. We completed certain tasks that was asked of us and got some minor credits in return, but we walked away seeking more than the connection that was provided to us. We sat at the feet of successful people, but never learned how to be successful. That's a tragedy. That's what I call an uneven exchange. And that's a real story that happens to a lot of people. Who's truly at fault in that though? See, we we talk about business connections and we don't ever truly judge and and determine who we're connecting with, what our motivation is, what their motivation is, and look at everything before launching out into this opportunity for connection. Whose fault is this really? If you bring home a poisonous snake and try to treat it as a house pet and the snake bites you, is it the snake's fault? Or is it your fault because you held expectations for the snake that to do something that they go against their nature to do? Something other than what their nature dictates. Whose fault is that? They're gonna be times in business. I've seen it quite a few times in my life. I have a lot of stories to tell. Where I got connected with people who were in business, and I didn't properly discern the situation. I didn't properly vet the person. At the expense of everything else going on around me, to my own detriment. See, who you're connected with, I really believe this. Who you're connected with is as important, maybe even more important than what you can do from a skills perspective. What you bring to the table. In those days, I believe I had talent, I believe I had a certain level of know-how and street smarts. But my skills were irrelevant. Who you're connected to is more relevant than what you can do. See, I know that's gonna blow some folks' minds because we've been taught that if we develop a skill, it'll take us anywhere that we want to go. To the moon. But it's not so. Who you're connected with makes so much of a difference. I know a lot of people, and I talk to these people every day. I network with these people and connect and just reach out and meet people in the marketplace and such. And what I found is that there's a lot of free agents out there. If they were in sports, they'd be broke or working down their savings because they're free agents. Nobody wants to sign them. The question is, why does anybody want to sign you? Why are you still working a nine or five that you hate? And then you complain about on social media, but you can't get to the place where you want to be to do the kind of job you want to do, or open the kind of business that you want to open. What's holding you back from doing that? What's the reason or reason that's hindering you from allowing you to achieve that dream and that goal? Is it somebody else's fault? Or is it something within you that's holding you back? You don't believe me? Ask somebody why someone who has lesser skills, less experience, less pizzazz, less oomph, or whatever metric you use to measure success with is able to move farther and higher than you are. Now, people might call it unfair or some other kind of labor you put on it. But if you remain connected to time thieves and people who undermine every upwardly mobile effort you make, your skills and your talents are gonna get lost in all of that. Because it's not about what you can do, it's about who you're connected to. They got this app that's uh an invite-only app, that's an audio app, but it's called Clubhouse. I think about it because it's such a weird phenomenon and very new to social media. It's not like anything else that's out there. First, you gotta be invited in. It's almost like a secret club. You gotta be invited into it. If you don't get an invite, you can't get in. You can't hack your way in, you gotta be invited by somebody who's already in. Think about that for a little bit. Somebody has to already be in for you to be invited. So if you don't know anybody, if nobody in your social circle has the ability to be a part of this group, you have no chance of getting in. You have to know somebody already in the know, so to speak, to allow you to get in. And then when you get in, when you are invited and you accept the invite, you have access to a truckload of successful people, millionaires and billionaires. I'm talking about names, any name you can think of in the music business, in entertainment, in podcasting, in uh in blogging, uh in fashion, uh, people in the fitness industry, people who write books, award-winning chefs, I mean, you name it, you have access to pretty much any genre you want to be a part of. Any group you want to be a part of and hear uh expertise regarding, you can do that. But the crazy part about that is that, you know, we look at what we can do as the the ultimate. If we can do it and we have the skills that we think that's all it takes. But connection is so, so important. And I think we're really finding it out the hard way, especially in the in the face of a pandemic. You know, more times than not, you know, you can find people who are freelancing through life. And by that I mean they don't have any roots in the ground, really. They don't have any mentorship, they don't have any coaching, they don't have any positive counsel in their life, no positive role models, nobody to affirm them in any way. They're just trying to make it. They stay up until 3 a.m. and then they get up at noon trying to hustle and get that bag. But they have no discipline, no work ethic, no goals, no nothing written down on paper, no ideas, no accountability, no dreams, no tangible connections whatsoever. They might just know a guy, but that's about it. See if you want enduring relationships and enduring connections, you need to develop the ability to endure. If you want enduring relationships and enduring connections, you need to develop the ability to endure. An unstable person can't expect to gain anything worthwhile. Because you can't rely on them, they can't be counted on. If the wind blows north, they're headed north. If the wind blows east, they're headed east. They can't be trusted. And an untrustworthy person trying to expect mail when they don't have an address, it just ain't gonna happen. And those are the kind of people that are looking at connections and not recognizing all that comes with it. There are people who you've been connected with, perhaps in business, that because you didn't understand exactly who you were connected with, it was to your detriment. There are times with people who have invested their life savings with somebody in business, but didn't know fully who they were investing with. They didn't know the history and the background. When you're connected with somebody, everything in that conduit in that avenue, you're subject to it. If it's illegal, you're a party to that in some way. You're connected with that. We gotta be really careful who we connect with. It makes a big difference in where we go in life. Our trajectory in life is especially important in the fact that we need to make sure we know who we're connected with and why and what and who. If you're gonna connect with somebody in business, fully understand the terms, even if you're not in a position to dictate them. At least, at the very least, decide if the terms are acceptable. Then be intentional about being fully educated and able, and at the end of the day, to make a competent business decision. Okay, if it's a startup, some kind of investment situation, a business opportunity, or you're working a nine to five. Understand the terms up front. You know what? It might even require you to read that paperwork that you normally gloss over, read it all. Because you are subject when you sign on that dotted line. You're subject to everything in it that you didn't want to read. Everything you wouldn't take the time to go over and browse. You're subject to all of it. So you can't complain when something happens that you didn't expect, but you already agreed to it prior. Just something to think about, a little bit of business sense to throw at you today. Not much different from business than relationships when it comes to connections. The pandemic has taught so much, at least to me, about connections when it comes to a more personal nature, more relationships, families, things of that nature. The pandemic has exposed so much. See, everybody's up in arms about all that's going on with vaccines and access and social justice regarding the pandemic and things of that nature. And those are all valid things to be concerned about. They're all valid concerns to be up in arms about. Because when the pandemic hit, I remember it really well. It attacked our ability to connect. I know that a lot of people might see the pandemic differently. They may have a different take than minds, and that's fine. But if I can put it in a nutshell, in one concise sentence, the pandemic attacked our ability to connect. It radically changed our lives in that way. It limited our ability to do what basically comes natural to us. As human beings, we naturally are connectors. It's unnatural for us to be social hermits and emotional hermits and live in caves all by ourselves and separate from everyone. That's not natural for us. It goes against how we were made, how we were fashioned. We're connective, emotional beings. When that pandemic hit, it immediately attacked our ability to connect. And a lot of people were angry that they couldn't connect. Some couldn't verbalize it in a way that was uh that made sense, that was clear. They rallied against the rules and establishments and restrictions and basically bugged out. But at the core of it, if we can look past all of the vitriol and all the other stuff, all the politics, they were angry they couldn't connect. Now, almost a year later, the lack of connection is hindering children from completing their class workers, their class assignments. They're doing virtual school and can't even complete the assignments because of a lack of connection. Working adults can't finish their work-related task because of a lack of connection. We're made for connection. And I really believe that if we cut off from connection for any long period of time, we slowly die. That's how much we need it. But to my point, my previous point, because I believe that, and because I know we actually need to be connected to people, I think it behooves us, because that's part of our nature. It's it's in us. It's inherent in us to be connected to somebody, to others. It behooves us to be that much more careful about who we connect with and how we connect. I'm not advocating spending all your free time on your Instagram and your YouTube. I'm saying we need connection. People to hug, friends to call and laugh with, opportunities to enjoy and share experiences, and hear different points of view. From people who don't look like us. And learn from each other. That's the beauty of the human experience, especially when it's done right. We're made for connection, we need it. But we have to be also careful about how we connect, whom we connect to. Why we're connecting in the first place. That's what this show's all about. We your weekly mirror check before you go change the world. And look at ourselves first. Why we do what we do? What's our motivation? What's the purpose? What's the benefit? What's up, everybody? It's Mr. You. You know I love hearing from all of our viewers and listeners. You guys have some great questions. I love it. On every episode of the podcast, they call me Mr. You, right at the top of our show notes is a way you can text me directly. It's called fan mail. Send a text to me anytime in or out of our shows with questions, feedback, topic ideas, or some kind of encouragement for the coach. And I'll respond back to you at the very next episode of our show. I'm making you a part of our show. So send a text, show some love, ask a question, fan mail. Thanks for supporting us again. We love you. We appreciate you. Have a great day. Enjoy the music. Coach out. Just something to think about. You guys ever heard of solitary confinement? It's something that happens in a prison system. There's a lot of reasons why they have solitary confinement, but I want to talk to you about what it does to a person. Because we talk about our need to connect and how it's innate in us to connect. I read a study recently that said that people who experience solitary confinement are more likely to develop anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and psychosis. Did sound familiar? The practice also affects physical health, increasing a person's risk for a range of conditions like fractures, vision loss, and chronic pain. Essentially, it's an extreme version of isolation. See, we want and need connections. That's just an example, an extreme example of what happens when we don't have it. A lot of people who have been, I guess, adversely affected by the pandemic, where they were uh immobilized or unable to do certain things. A lot of the news reports and some of the articles I've read, they have some of the same symptoms somebody in solitary confinement had. That's not a coincidence. We do want and need connection, but we need to evaluate the value of that connection. We've grown a lot less selective to our own detriment. We accept things, we endorse things, we entertain things, we perish slowly. I want to tell you a story about a friend of mine. We're gonna call him Freddy. He was a chronic liar. It took several weeks for meeting him for the rest of us to figure it out. Before long, we found out that he lied about his family, where his mother worked, their family's financial picture. Freddy lied about everything from where he went last week to what he was gonna do next week. He was my first introduction to a chronic liar. In our neighborhood, it was rare to find real friends, and it was necessary to have as many allies as possible just to defend against some of the things that were inherent in the area where I grew up at. So we tolerated the lies. We remained connected with Freddie. We tolerated him trying to trick people to get money, being dishonest, to get people to do things for him that he didn't want to do. We accepted him that way. Knowing that most every word he told us was not true. I never thought that would ever affect me. I just saw that as his problem. We would learn much later he lied to a lot of people, not just his friends. Do you know anybody you're connected with that you know it's not good for you? But you have not separated yourself from the influence yet. One day I was walking home from uh a job that Freddie and I were working together. I waved goodbye to him, he lived across the street. I waved goodbye to him, he went to his house and I headed toward mine's. This dark figure dressed in black jumped out from behind one of the largest oak trees on our block. The tree was so big I couldn't even see him behind it. He jumped out with a gun pointed at me. Almost his his entire face was covered, so I couldn't even recognize him or or identify him. And he pulled out a pistol and pointed it at me, and his hands were shaking so violently, he had his finger on the trigger the entire time. I just knew that was the end for me. It didn't take a rocket science to figure out that a guy with his hand on the trigger and his hands are violently shaking. The gun can go off. The robber was really, really afraid. I know the reason why, but I'll explain that at a later date on a later episode. But it made me rethink everything in that moment. I turned to look at Freddie and see if he if he could see this, maybe he could help me. He was only a few steps from his door. And he had both his hands in the air. I couldn't see a gun or a person, but I knew that both of us were in the same situation. In classic, in classic fashion, I didn't give the robber anything. No matter how many times he asked me. I guess it was a mixture of shock and defiance. He came close to me, all I can do was just stare at the gun. He came close to me and started wifing through my pockets, pulling out whatever he can find. I knew that I had money in my pockets and I knew that he would probably find that, but I just didn't want him to shoot. He eventually got all he wanted. He ran off into the night. After the robbers left, they all ran off. And Freddie ran over to me and said, his first question to me, I'm not lying, my first question, his first question was, Did they get your money? How much did they take? That was his first question. Didn't ask me if I was alright. That was literally his first question. Which says a lot about Freddie. I checked all my pockets right there in front of him, and miraculously, all my money was still there. All the money for our payment for the day was right there. All that was missing was a large water napkins I had in my left pocket, and a watch that stopped on the train ride home. That's what the robber got. Fredd lost all of his money. And everything valuable that he had on him. And he was incensed that I had all my money, but his was gone. We found out a couple of weeks later who was behind the robbery. But my question was always, how'd they know we'd be on that block at that time? Our work schedule was so sporadic, there was nowhere to tell time by it. Sometimes we come home at five, sometime we come home at seven, sometime we come home at nine. A question never really got answered for me, but I always find it interesting. At the end of the day, I'm thankful for who I was connected with. Because it could have been much worse. So, what constitutes a good connection? Is it your ability to flow creatively? Your ability to feel safe in certain environments, the pressure that forces you to embrace greatness, the greatness that's already inside of you, or a thriving relationship that sends benefits and blessings back and forth without any kind of hindrance. Because of who I was connected to, what could have happened to me didn't happen. But what happened to Freddie happened. What constitutes a bad connection? Is it being forced to resemble or become somebody else that you don't want to be? But that's acceptable to the other person? To whom you're trying to gain their affection? Is it a one-sided relationship where you give a whole lot and the other party gives you nothing back in return? Let me ask you guys a question. Are you actively dating? Are you a serial single person? Are you engaged to be married or recently married or married for 10 years or more? This could be a topic for another day or perhaps a side conversation, but I want to kind of flush it out a little bit. There's a big difference between a good connection and a connection that's good for you. Does that make sense? There's a big difference between a good connection and a connection that's good for you. Our view of what's in front of us plays a huge part in what we accept, entertain, and settle for and connect ourselves to. Because of the environment that I was living in back in my hometown, because of all the dangers that were inherent in the environment where I lived. Having as many friends as possible was to my advantage. Even though being connected to somebody like Freddie was to my detriment. That's just one story. Because of my connection with Freddie, I was arrested and taken to jail in a different scenario because of my connection to Freddie. See, one thing seems as though it was a good idea because of my environment, but at the same time, it was to my detriment. It was a bad idea with a bad connection. Here's some takeaways to consider while you're letting all this marinate. Number one, connections can keep you where you are. I come from a geographical location where it's a hot bed for tragic circumstances and unfulfilled potential. I understand why they call my hometown a concrete jungle. If you can make it out and accomplish your dreams, you've done something that hundreds, maybe even millions of people have never been able to do. If I had deep connections in that area, that might have been a key factor to why I stayed and never achieved what I have been able to do over the years. Because I got out of that environment. I really believe that if I had stayed there and had deep abiding connections, I would have never found what I have found right now. My wife, my daughters, my grandchildren, my businesses, my friendships, my connections, my relationships. I'd be trapped in a four by six cell called obligation with a cellmate named Guilt. Number two, you are influenced by whatever is in the pipeline you're connected to. You can say, Oh, that's them, that's not me. You can say, Oh, they're part of that political group, but I'm not a part of that. I'm in the group, but I don't agree with them. Or they don't speak for me. But association is key. If you're a part of them, their behaviors are reflective of you because you're still associated. You're fed and educated and inspired and motivated through that pipeline. Whether that's good or whether that's bad, association is key. Choose wisely. And lastly, number three, my third takeaway: good connection should make you want to do better for yourself. Good connection should make you serve others' interests better. It should inspire confidence that the impossible is possible. It should push you out of your comfort zone and into exploration of the unknown. It should challenge you to want to do more in life and not just remain where you are and settle for what you have. It should encourage hopefulness for the future, not a gloomy reminder of your past. Did you get anything out of the episode today? It just is helpful at all. We think we know what good and bad connections are, what the differences are, but you know what? Perhaps we really don't. Perhaps we should take more time to really think about what exactly is good for us. What exactly is bad for us? I know people who think that bad bad bad means anything that causes them to get out of the bed before seven o'clock in the morning. To them that's bad. But I might see that as good. Some might say, connecting with this guy who offers this uh a sweet deal on some land in Florida, they might think that's good. I might think it's bad. It's really relative, but at the same time, we need to be more discerning and more aware of what we connect ourselves to. Like the story with Freddie, I had good reasons for it, but my reasons weren't good enough. And they were to my detriment. And they cost me because I made the wrong connection for the wrong reason. Just something to think about today. So I'd love to hear your thoughts on our episode today. I'd love to hear what you think about all we discussed today, the questions that I've asked of you. Check us out on the callmemistery.com. The article should be up within the next 24 hours. Love to hear your thoughts and your comments on the article. We're gonna flesh out some of this stuff a little bit more, a little bit more detail. I know you're gonna enjoy it. Thanks again for joining us on The Call Me Mr. You the podcast, your all-purpose pod for an all-purpose life. We have a weekly mirror check before you go change the world. I got full confidence you're gonna change it. Have a great day. Thanks again for joining us. Enjoy the music.

SPEAKER_00: 48:21

Coach out, and the biggest.