His & Hers ***Blast From The Past Episode***- Accountability, Integrity, And Showing Up

Our team thought it was a great idea to start rewinding previous (but timely) episodes of our show during the times that Mista Yu is away from the microphone. All of these beautiful Blasts from the Past were previously broadcast, but we are sharing them with you at a time when you might need them most. Hope you enjoy the review!

Let’s talk about the kind of accountability that actually changes lives. We pull this one from the archives for a reason: it gets real about why partnerships thrive or break, why our culture loves to look committed on paper, and how to build agreements that don’t fall apart six months in. If you’ve ever been left holding the bag while a partner quietly checked out, or if you’ve ghosted a commitment you meant to keep, this conversation will feel uncomfortably helpful.

We start with the basics: partnership is shared responsibility. That means dividing the work, owning the struggles, and celebrating the wins together. From there we dig into the power of agreement—why two people aligned can move farther than one—and the hidden trap of optional commitments. We explore faith-infused principles like counting the cost, honoring your word, and the difference between covenant and convenience. You’ll hear practical stories, from wasted gym memberships to missed coffee meetings, that reveal how small compromises erode trust and stall growth.

Most importantly, we map out a simple framework for real accountability: say a clear yes or no, define expectations in plain language, set a rhythm you both can protect, and decide in advance how you’ll handle missed check-ins. Integrity becomes the engine that keeps the partnership moving, even when motivation dips. If your word holds weight, trust compounds; when trust compounds, results follow. Whether you’re building a business, serving in ministry, or strengthening a marriage, these habits turn good intentions into dependable action.

Hit play, then tell us where you’re tightening your commitments this week. Subscribe for more archive gems, share this with someone who needs a nudge to show up, and leave a review to help others find the conversation. Your word matters—let’s make it count.

Our team will choose random (but timely) episodes from our previous three seasons (which are our most popular ever!) to share with our listeners during the slower parts of a long podcast season. We think you will enjoy them! Thanks for listening!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Hey friends and fam, it's Mr. You. Now, our team wanted to try something fresh and something different, especially during our slower months of the season. So, starting this season, we're gonna release random but timely episodes from our first few seasons, which I gotta tell you are the most popular seasons of our entire podcast brand history. I think when you hear them, you'll know why they're so popular. It's gonna be great for new listeners and great also for longtime listeners who've been following us for a while. So stay tuned. I thank you for watching us and for listening. Hope you enjoy this new experience. We're going into the archives. Here's a blast in the past right now. I think you'll enjoy. Have fun.

Redefining Accountability Partnerships

SPEAKER_03 1:57

I'm your host, Mr. You. The Queen is in the house.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Hello, everyone.

SPEAKER_03 2:02

Great to get back in tune with you guys again to throw another awesome episode your way. We hope you enjoy it. We're excited about it. Uh, you know, what we're noticing in a lot of these episodes is that we're getting a lot of responses from people from all walks of life, and it's ultimately what we want. Uh, you know, we got single people who are really vibing with our episodes. We got married couples that are really digging it. We're just excited about all the people who are touched by these topics that I think are relevant to many different people, different genres, and we're just excited about how it's been going. Uh, excited to be able to do this with you. And this is this is pretty awesome. Uh, been a long time ago. It's good to have us uh flowing a little bit. Uh we did not have an episode for January. Uh, you may have noticed that, so we're gonna be doubling up for the month of February just to make sure that we stay on track and keep providing the kind of content that we think you've grown accustomed to us doing. So, pretty excited about that. Excuse me. Uh, we want to talk a little bit about partnership today. Hopefully, we can do that. Uh I laugh at this topic because every once in a while, it's pretty frequent, so it's probably more than once in a while. I'm personally approached by people who want to do accountability partnerships. It's become a common phrase in spiritual circles, uh men's groups, women's groups, uh mentoring and coaching circles. It's a pretty common phrase, accountability partnership. But I'm starting to wonder if we need to question what that actually means, because in most cases, nobody in particular comes to mind for me specifically, because this has happened so many times that I think I'm starting to lose count. But I think people want to want the idea of accountability partnerships, as long as it doesn't infringe too much on their personal time and doesn't cause them to have to make too many sacrifices. And I'm wondering if we really understand what partnership andor an accountability partnership actually means. Have you seen, Queen, have you seen some of those same kind of uh issues with the account the idea of an accountability partnership?

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yes, I have. Um I've seen it in a lot of different areas. Um I think more with people who are believers or people that you know I'm around and go to church, they want someone to help them stay on task.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

I and I think it's because the cares of life and our busy schedules, they we put those in a priority pile at the top of it instead of the things on relationship with God.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Um, and I've been guilty of that. I think we all have to some degree, but when we notice it, then that's when we do our change or our shift to do something different and change our our schedules and how we do things.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

I think I can see a good bit of that too. You know, I I kind of just feel like in any kind we're talking about partnership, that's kind of the title of this episode, but really anytime we're talking about any kind of ship, and I and we discussed this in in previous episodes, where there's a partnership, a fellowship, a sonship, a relationship, it always takes more than just one person. It takes two people in agreement, maybe perhaps sharing common values, but two people going in the same direction to accomplish a specific goal. And it feels like to me, the idea of partnership and accountability is optional for some and mandatory for others, and it can both be in the same ship as it will. And it's like that that just can't work. You can't have that kind of arrangement and agreement, and you have one person who sees it as an optional thing. If I feel like doing it today, I'll do it today. If I feel like showing up for this, I'll show up. But otherwise, you know, I'm deciding no matter what we agree, I'm gonna decide whether the contract, the arrangement that we came to is enforceable or not. And we just decide arbitrarily to not do our parts. I think that's challenging.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

Yeah. I it made me think about um when I was younger, much younger. Um I had opened an account and it was a savings account, but I kept taking money out of it. So I started getting these penalties. And when I got the penalties, I went to the bank and I'm like, why do I have to pay these fees? And they said, Why do you have a savings? And I didn't think about it. And they said, Why did you open this account? What was your reason? What was the cause of you to take it out? And what was the motive of even getting it from the beginning? And it just made me think about okay, we start these accounts, whether it's the accountability partners or the friendships and the connections with people, but do we want to be held accountable in what we have opened up? Is that really where our heart is? And it made me think about that account when I wasn't doing what I first initially said that this is what this was for, I started using it, or I neglected it, you know, and I think that that made me think about that past experience I had with that account, but it made me think about what we build in our life with people, with being accountable to people and people being accountable to us. We want what we give out, or we want even more than we give out so that we can change and be better. So, what are we willing to give? You know, in order to build this account up, our our accountability, our relationship, our friendship, our connections.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

I love that. I love that. It reminds me of uh dearly the parted uh mentor, Dr. Miles Monroe. I quote him so much on this show, but his words were always so impactful to us, his books and his materials, they were always so impactful, the teachings, they were just life-changing for us. But something you said there about the account made me think about a quote that he loved to share. And he would always say that when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. If you don't know why you something should be used or how it should be used, you're guaranteed to abuse it. If you order something online and it comes in a box with instructions, excuse me, not following those instructions is gonna have disastrous results. You're probably gonna damage it or uh utilize it to a point where or in in a way it shouldn't be used, and you find yourself having uh unusable object and it won't it won't fulfill the point of why it was made, why it was manufactured. And when you talk about that account, that's what will come into mind for me. If you don't know why you have a savings account, if you don't know why you're endeavoring to step into this kind of uh relationship business-wise, then you're gonna abuse it and you're gonna waste your money and you're gonna end up losing out and not fulfilling the whole point. I think it's the same thing with partnership. You know, we we talk about stuff like partnerships and relationships and every other shit, and we don't take into account that it requires agreement from us. The power of agreement is so powerful, and if you read the word of God, you'll see it. The power of agreement is so powerful that God responds to your agreement. Excuse me. If you say, you know what, if if if two people agree on an issue, on a matter and say, you know what, we're going forward to do this specific thing. The Bible says that God will honor what they go forth to do. That's that tells you something about the power of agreement. I mean, look at Genesis chapter 11 with the Tower of Babel. That situation was messed up, but look at what was going on. They had the wrong intention for why they wanted to build a tower. They wanted to reach heaven so that they can kind of uh establish their own kingdom and not be a party to the kingdom that was going on on the earth around them. They wanted their own thing, they wanted to have their own name and lights, so to speak. But they can't, even though the motive was jacked up, they came in an agreement and were nearly successful in their goal. They would build a tower that was almost so high, they were getting ready to crack the heavenlies. And God dealt with that. If you read Genesis 11, you see how he dealt with it, how he confounded the language. But the bottom line is that agreement can take you places that you could never go on your own. So I so it's it's because of those kind of ideas that made me think: why do we talk about accountability partnerships and stuff and not fully invest in the partnership? That means being there in the thick and thin of it. Those kind of words are just lost on us these days. People talk about thick and thin and loyalty, those things just are don't seem to be a part of the world that we live in, it feels like. And those and those that do carry it are usually from a different generation, and they're holding on for daylight to maintain the values and the morals and the standards that we grew up following. Like honoring your word and being a person of integrity and and and sticking out through thick and thin and not giving up at the first sign of trouble. Those are the kind of things that the generation that we're in now don't seem to really get. But you can't enter into a partnership, accountability otherwise, and not understand you gotta have stay in power. You gotta see this thing all the way through. You gotta walk this thing out. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Yes. Um, it made me think about something we read um a few years ago, and it was talking about how many people join a gym.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Oh Lord. I'm gonna take a drink of water on that gym partner.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

And so one of the guys said, Why do you want to invest in having a gym for someone to come to? He said, That's the easiest way to make money. He said, Because people want to look good on paper. And so they sign up, but they might never step in the gym. He said, I've had clients that have been um a member for 10 years and have never seen the inside of the gym.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

So that's just free money that he's getting. And you think about that commitment. You signed up for it. On if they was if your insurance company was to require that you have some kind of exercise, you look good on paper. But if I saw you in person, or if you saw me in person when I had a membership, um, did I go? Uh sometime. But but you know, that makes a lot of sense. We we can even say things, but we can't hold true to our word. You know, like you said, where's the accountability? Where is, you know, the sticking to it and being a man or a woman of our word, you know.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

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The Importance of Accountability Partnerships

SPEAKER_03 15:13

and even those before them, it's not the same thing. Like I said earlier, it's optional to people. People decide whether they want to do it or not, how they feel, their emotions are essentially king in their life, and they decide if they want to do it or not, and it's not even about the covenant or the commitment that they made. And we see that in every every area, every walk of life. People breaking agreements, people breaking covenants, people changing their minds, and the other person in the agreements don't even know that they changed their mind. And you sit out here still working and laboring under the same agreement, under the same assumption that you know what, we're in this together. Other person stopped working. You don't even know. Like, wait a minute, you still in this? No, I quit that long time ago. What? You didn't even know that they already bailed out, and you still sit here working. You know, because partnership at its very core is defined to the share responsibility. What that basically means, I don't care if it's the business, ministry, organization, friendship, whatever it is, marriage, whatever it is, that means you share the work, you share the struggles, you share the losses, and you share the gains.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

For better, for worse, for richer for poor.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

You share the work, you share the struggles, you share the losses, and you share the gains. It's a shared responsibility. So I don't know if people want to get into this and get real deep, but I think we might need to talk about it a little bit because even though we're crunching toes already, probably, people might already be cutting us off already. But the truth is that we gotta look at how much our word is, you know, how much our word weighs. Does your word matter? Ask yourself if you're listening to that today. Wherever you are listening, does your word count? Are you the kind of person that says, you know what, I'm sorry, I forgot. And the person you're supposed to meet with is sitting at the coffee shop for an hour and 45 minutes, and you are just getting there because after a repeated call, you finally decided to show up for an appointment. Does your word matter? If you say, I'm gonna call you at 3 o'clock and the call never happens until months later. Does your word matter? Does your word hold weight? How much does your word weigh? You've got to ask yourself that question because before you can enter into any kind of partnership, any kind of relationship, fellowship, or any other kind of ship, you have to have some kind of integrity in your word because people are counting on that. People go to banks and financial institutions and they go to gyms and they sign their name on these agreements. And that's a part, that's a part of our the world that we live in. That's a part of our code, our standard. We have these lines, these signature lines over everything. Anything that we're trying to accomplish. If you want to buy something of note, or you want to buy land or property or be a shareholder, or you want to own a hotel, excuse me, or anything like that. That signature line is there everywhere. It's part of the contract. It's part of the agreements. When you sign your name on it, you say, you know what? I certify, I how are you signing your name? I certify that I am in agreement with this, and I'm gonna do this, this, this, and that, you know, for the duration of this agreement period, however long that is, five years, ten years, or as long as the business is active, or as long as the organization is is uh is active. And we don't understand that part. We kind of just blow it off like it's nothing. I mean, I I I have so many, I'm sure you have plenty, so I have so many accountability partnerships that I started with people and they walk past me today like we didn't have nothing. They forgot to show to the meeting, and it's been like six months. I'm like, are we gonna talk about this? That you disappeared for six months? See, honestly, this is gonna sound rough, but I gotta say this anyhow. It don't even matter if you're dealing with something, that amount of time and no response, no nothing, that ain't lining up. Something's something you lack an integrity somewhere in all of this stuff. And you can't say I'm afraid to talk because you see me all the time. You should be able to say, you know what? I didn't have I didn't think through what it would cost me to be a part of this relationship. So I need to step back, I need to do me, take care of some stuff. Okay, that's fine. I respect that. You should not wish them six months of my time. We sitting here walking around like, hey, what's up, what's good, what's good? Handshakes and daps. I'm like, bro, we got unresolved issues. I'm still waiting for them to show them to the to the Zoom call. And it's been like six months. And I've been sending messages. Are we gonna talk about that or we're gonna just pretend it never happened? Accountability partnerships require shared responsibility.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Yes, it does. You know, like you said, they didn't count up the cost, and sometimes we don't, and we just say yes because it sounds good on the surface, and we don't think about how deep that thing goes, you know. Like, I have to show up, I gotta be accountable, I have to be present, yeah, you know, and sometimes we're not present, and we are learning as we grow. You know, I think about high school students, you know, they have to be accountable because there is Laws that they have to attend school. So that's why they show up. So once they get their first job, are they gonna do as good as showing up to that job as they were doing at school? Because that was their choice to go get this job. If they wasn't made to get it or had to get it, you know, so they decide, oh, I don't feel like going in today, you know? Or um, I wish they wouldn't have put me on the schedule because other things become more important if they don't have to pay that bill. They just wanted that job so they can buy some new kicks, you know, you know. Wow. So, you know, I I think we have gotten away from a lot of things that are standards and rules and morals that we need to walk in in order to be able to be accountable to anybody, even ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

You know, we'll even lie to ourselves, you know. I'm not gonna eat this piece of cake. I'm not gonna eat this piece of Lord.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

I hear more toes, I hear more toes out here crunching out here.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Even my toes are crunching.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

I'm not gonna eat this, but then I end up eating it anyway. So if I'm doing that to myself, I'm lying to myself, what made me think that I'm gonna do that to another person? It's just like me buying something hiding it in the trunk when we have agreed that I'm not gonna spend money.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

God just said, Yeah. People do that though.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

But I tell on myself, I thank God that I do. I mean, like you said, I spent some money and better. Ah I'm gonna do better.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

But no, um, you know, like you said, you know, we have to count up the costs.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

No, no question. I mean, the Bible talks about that. If you gonna before before you enter into a battle or a big endeavor, weigh everything. Think it through and decide. And that's one thing that, well, it's not because I'm so wise or so smart, but that passage of scripture is how I deal with every single new arrangement. That before we get into this, this is what's gonna happen. I tell people that in very great detail. They may not want to hear all the time, they might be too wordy, too much information, but I want them to know before we go into this realm, before we step into this ship, this relationship, this fellowship, this partnership, before we get into this, this is what's gonna happen. This is what's required. You got to follow up, you gotta be transparent. If we're gonna be sharing our life, you gotta be transparent, and you gotta show up, you gotta be available. Tell a man in the beginning, say, Can you do that? And everyone to a man has the same answer every single time. Oh, yeah, no doubt. Absolutely. And then that sixth month shows up. And I can't find out where they're at. But I think it's funny because there's a passage script. I'm gonna read it real quick, it's real quick. It's Isaiah, the 55, the 55th chapter, excuse me, Isaiah 55, verse 10 through 11. I want you to hear this and don't get caught up in in who it's talking about. I want you to just understand the concept and the standard. But this is about this is coming from God Himself. I want you to hear what he's saying here. Verse 10 says, this is Isaiah 55, verse 10. It says, For just as rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return there without saturating the earth and making it germinate and sprout, and providing seed to sow and food to eat. So my word that comes from my mouth will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do. Hear that. He's using the Lord's using agricultural terms there, but hear that. That's the power of his word. That means wherever his word goes, it's gonna do what it's sent to do. We can go ahead and try to separate ourselves from this and say, oh, that's God, it's not me. I don't have the ability or the capacity to do that, but this is the standard that's being set, in my opinion. And I noticed also because in Psalms the 15th chapter, verse 4, it talks about how we're instructed to swear to our own hurt and change not. If you promise something, you don't change your mind because you don't feel like doing it anymore. You honor your commitment. If you told that old lady that that widow around the corner, you're gonna come and help her with uh a cabinet or help her clean her backyard, she's counting on you. She doesn't have anybody else. So if you said you're gonna go and help her on such and such a date, you got to show up. Not even on time, but early and be there to help her get that done and honor your commitment. How you feel about the situation ain't relevant. If your friend pops up with a with a better idea, an idea that's more fun, at the same time you promised this widow you would help her, that's irrelevant. The bottom line is that your word should matter, it should mean something. And I think at the end of the day, you can't have a partnership or a relationship of any kind if your word isn't something that the other person can rely on. So I think that's time for us to check ourselves and think about that. Think about where you are in your life, your spiritual growth, your integrity level before you enter into any kind of agreement. I don't care if it's I'm gonna be a part of this Facebook group, I don't care what it is. If you can't be trusted, if you don't feel like you can be trusted, don't say yes. You have to explain why it's a no, just say no. And keep on working on yourself until you feel like you can get to the place where people can trust you with all you got going on in your life, trust you to manage your situation and still uphold the values you say you uphold and show up when it's time to show up.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Yes. It made me think about one thing we used to say a lot Um, be a winner on the team and be able be a part of the team so that we can win together and not just someone that is being a heavyweight, and the rest of the team got to drag you. We gotta show up.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

I love it. Well, I hope it's made some difference in your life somewhere, in some small way. But we are definitely excited about being at this place

Honoring Words in Podcast Community

SPEAKER_03 27:13

where we can share this with you. Think about it. Your word has a whole weight, your word has to matter. So wherever you are, and however you're listening to the Call Me Mr. You and the His and Hers podcast, thanks again for making us a part of your week. Thanks for listening on this. If you have any questions, drop them in the comments. Wherever you find this episode, we'd love to hear your thoughts on that. And we definitely are gonna practice what we preach. So if you're gonna come in agreement, be honorable and have integrity. Have a great day, and thanks again for listening to Mr. You and the Queen.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Bye bye.