Mista Yu is on "Iesha Speaks Truth": Strong Families Create Strong Communities and Strong Nations

Strong nations start at home. We sit down with author, minister, and coach Yusef Marshall A.K.A. Mista Yu to unpack why fatherhood, marriage, and faith are the true infrastructure of a healthy society—and how men can lead with courage when life feels heavy. Mista Yu’s story moves from an absent father and a decade inside a destructive sect to three near-death moments that forced a reset. He shares how books became mentors when people failed, how accountability reshaped his character, and how the presence of God turned ritual into relationship.

We get real about the gap between the stereotype of the “absent dad” and the quiet excellence of men who show up every day. Yusef explains why some communities are vulnerable to radicalization, how pain points get exploited, and what it takes to build a church culture that lifts men with truth and love. We contrast the works-pressure that breeds frenzy with the peace and clarity he found in Scripture and worship. His insights on leadership are blunt and freeing: stop chasing applause; lead for God. When the weight of leadership presses hard, return to your why and your accountability.

Yusef also shares the heart behind his book, The Heart of the Stepfather, written as both a guide and personal healing. Expect practical, hopeful steps for dads and future dads: protect your schedule, pray aloud with your family, ask better questions, pursue correction, and find mentors further down the road. If tomorrow isn’t promised, today matters even more—so build the habits that make homes safe, children secure, and communities strong.

If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review to help more listeners find it. Your voice helps grow a community where fathers are seen, supported, and strengthened.

Our team will choose random (but timely) episodes from our previous three seasons (which are our most popular ever!) to share with our listeners during the slower parts of a long podcast season. We think you will enjoy them! Thanks for listening!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Vigil Recap And National Prayer
• 3:18 Families As The Foundation Of Nations
• 3:53 Introducing Youssef And Church Context
• 7:23 Character, Accountability, And Discipleship
• 10:12 Youssef’s Upbringing And Father Wound
• 16:03 Trust, Mentorship, And Self-Work
• 22:42 Sponsor: Jase Medical
• 23:47 Near-Death: Bus Accident At 13
• 29:17 Cult Involvement And Escape To Faith
• 39:17 Quran vs Bible: Peace And Works
• 46:37 Radicalization And Social Pain Points
• 51:42 Sponsor: Y’OUR Skincare
• 52:47 Another Close Call And Perspective
• 57:07 Writing The Heart Of The Stepfather
• 1:00:52 Are Fathers Being Sidelined?
• 1:03:57 Church Culture And High Standards
• 1:06:47 When Leadership Feels Heavy
• 1:07:57 Final Advice To Overwhelmed Fathers
• 1:09:47 Closing And Where To Find Youssef

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:40

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode. If you guys joined me last this past Wednesday, we had our prayer vigil online and it was very, very powerful. If you missed that, I encourage you to go watch that. We had key people join us for that one, and we covered our nation. We covered Minnesota, we covered ICE agents, we covered protesters, every single thing within our nation, because we want our nation to be a nation uh walking in peace that has that spirit of wisdom and reconciliation marked uh within this nation. And so we covered our nation uh during that prayer vigil, and it was very powerful. So if you are at all struggling with prayer time or don't know necessarily what to pray when it comes to our nation, as the Bible directs us to, I encourage you guys to watch that episode and you can just join with us on that on that um episode and uh agree in intercession for those different topics that we covered. So, yeah, check that one out. Today's episode, though, is going to be very, very unique. It is purpose-driven, and we're talking about the foundation of our nation because the foundation sets the premise for everything else. And so the premise for this episode is strong families create strong communities, strong communities create strong cities, strong cities create strong states, and strong states create strong nations. So we want our nation to be strong. We cannot skip the family. And if we want families to be strong, we cannot ignore faith, marriage, and especially fatherhood. This conversation is focused on men, fathers, future fathers, and men who are willing to take responsibility for the world around them. And my guest today Liz this out. He is an author, ordained minister, speaker, coach, and podcaster. And more than anything, he's a man who believes encouragement, accountability, and faith in action can change lives. Youssef Marshall, also known as Mr. You. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being with me today.

SPEAKER_02: 3:30

Oh, wow. Thank you for the introduction. Thanks for having me here. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01: 3:33

Yes, it's awesome. Um, so I we we both attend the same church, and um, he also leads worship. He's an amazing, amazing voice um in um in the prophetic spontaneous worship as well. He just flows with whatever the Lord has placed on his heart for that time. Um, and it's it's it's really incredible. So you can also check out northpalmchurch.com or dot org, I believe. And um the name you'll be able to see. Am I right, North Palm Church?

SPEAKER_02: 4:00

To be honest with you, I'm not sure if it's.com or dot org. Now I'm wondering.

SPEAKER_00: 4:07

Let me make sure, okay?

SPEAKER_02: 4:09

Please kind of think something about now. North Palm.com.

SPEAKER_01: 4:16

I put them up and just can we be sure now?

SPEAKER_00: 4:23

It is.org, it looks like.

SPEAKER_01: 4:25

Okay, make it a chance.

SPEAKER_00: 4:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 4:30

Yeah, I'm like looking at okay, yeah. This is North Palm. Actually, it's northpalm.org. Okay, so you guys can check out our church and you'll you'll see words and you know, uh, you'll see worship there, which which uh Yusuf is also part of. Uh, and it's incredible. You'll see what all our church is about and um the prophetic move that's taking place, the many lives that have been transformed. And we love it. We I love it. I've been going to our church for now 17, a little over 17 years, I believe 18 years now. Uh, it's transformed my life completely. Um, everything I've learned from finances to getting my first car to saving to business to uh having my private life with the Lord, be accountable to the Lord. Like all those things I've learned came from um being connected to our body and under the leadership of Pastor Mark and Patricia Estes. And so um, we're both underneath that leadership and we understand the importance of accountability, that discipleship, and the community, um, because that's what trains us, that's what sends us out for our call. It's not just staying in the four walls, but being empowered in that four walls to go out and do what the Lord has placed as an assignment for you to do and to have that backing and to have that maturity or character so that when you step into those places you can represent Christ well. And um, yeah, we're we're very much about excellence and honoring, you know, people and um loving on people and telling the truth and speaking the truth and also being accountable and being corrected. Uh when it's correct. And so, yeah, I've been corrected many, many, many times. Um, you know, showing the club. Yeah, and and you, you know, you receive that because you understand that it serves a greater purpose and it's to sharpen you. It's not to break you down, it's not to destroy you, but it's to sharpen you so that when you when you're entrusted with more, when God puts things on you more or puts you in certain spaces, you have the character to be there, right? Not just the skill, but the character. And so um that's what our our church is really big on. And Mr. Youth, Mr. Uh Yusuf is going to bring some um incredible insight into what we're gonna be talking about today, which is the foundation of our nation, which we're talking about, fatherhood, we're talking about family, those two things. And he and he um this area of his life is something that the Lord has stirred in him, has cultivated in him to be able to speak into this area, and he's helped many men to be able to grow in this area as well. And so let's start off first, um, Yousef. Before the titles and the platforms, who was Mr. You?

SPEAKER_02: 7:00

Who was Yusuf Marshall growing up in the complicated young fella? Uh, last key kid. His mom worked two jobs and went to school the entire time he lived in her house. So he had his own key by age 10 or 11. He learned how to be independent really quickly. Uh, he was in a single-parent household. So all the things that you would think would be uh a lore or temptation for a young man, I experienced it. Uh, gang, drugs, cults. I was all I was subject to all of those things in that time. But I had a deep desire to please my mother, so I that helped me avoid a lot of things that I could have normally gotten into. But I was a strong-willed young man. I mean, I think my household I was very, very deeply entrenched in education. So I was always uh a book run. I still am, I guess. I'm still still a nerd to my heart. So I read a lot of books. I'm a researcher. I do a lot of uh personal work on myself. And I learned that from those times where I was had to be alone a lot of the times, and all I had was books and encyclopedias and dictionaries, and I just try to learn as much as I can. So I was always a big learner. But for me, outgoing person, which is not really the norm at in that area in New York, but that's who I was. I was a friendly, neighborly person, always wanted to serve people. Not sure where that even came from. My mother's like that, but everybody else in New York, in our area, in our neighborhood, was never like that. So I kind of came up being that kind of person, and I I found out later on what the real reason was for why I was that way. It wasn't because of my environment geographically, it was more of a spiritual thing. So that's who I came up as. I was a pretty good young kid. I didn't get into too many uh scrapes. I was trying to keep level level-headed kid for the most part, was pretty smart. So, but in a nutshell, that's who I was before I began to evolve.

SPEAKER_01: 9:01

Well, I love that you said that um even from young kid, before you, I guess before you even got closer to the Lord, like you could you start to see now that the characteristics of who you are is not necessarily always the product of the environment, but it's the deposits that the Lord has placed in there since the beginning, since before you were even born. So it's like, you know, because the Lord God tells us that before we before we were um formed in our mother's womb, he knew us, right? So basically everything when God says new, it's not just like, oh, I know your name. It's everything because the word of God tells us that you know he knows the number of hairs on our head. Like he's very much included in tiny minute details. So that's that's beautiful that you could you you could pinpoint, you know, what God has had placed in you that you definitely didn't see, you know, around you at the time. What do you think that your upbringing uh taught you, positively or negatively, about manhood, responsibility, and leadership?

SPEAKER_02: 9:59

Um it's kind of twofold. Great question, Aisha. I think the first part, uh I was in a religious household, without question. My mother and her mother before her were deeply religious. That particular denomination was not one that I would say fed me. It was more about practices and rituals and duty and things like that. And it wasn't so much about presence and experience and relationship. So I I I was in that, but I think it kind of caused me to crave more. Because I always felt like there was more than just these little random things that made uh people decide if I was good or bad, you know, morality type things, and not so much relationship and being intuitive when it comes to the spirit of God. So I feel like I I was missing something there, but I didn't know what it was at the time. Also, I was again, I was in a single-parent household, so my father was not uh willing to be a part of my life. Uh, and that kind of impacted me in many ways. It made me look at relationships almost on a temporary basis. Like, you know what? If I get close to you, are you gonna disappear? Are you gonna not show up? Am I gonna turn around? You're gonna be gone and never come back. So it made me distrust, you know, uh relationships that could have been fatherly in nature or maybe some kind of mentorship, or just a friend that was older that knew knew more about the world. It made me not want to be uh so trusting to get myself to that because I had some trust issues because of what was going on with my father. Literally, as a matter of fact, I chased him across the country trying to get an answer to just one simple question. Why don't you want to be here with me? So I I found my way to from New York all the way to California to just get an answer to that question. Why don't you want to be here with me? So why did you leave and never come back? Why did you ever call, you know? And I I spent many, many years of my childhood and even into some years of adulthood trying to get the answer to that question. So it impacted me because as a father of three daughters, now we got six grandchildren and three great-grandchildren now. Just found out we got another great grandchild on the way. I struggled, I struggled with trying to be a father because I'm like, how do you be a father when you don't know what it looks like? You only seen it on the Cosby show. How do you know how to do this? I haven't had an example of that. So it's a long time of struggle before I came into a deep relationship with the Lord, before I found out he was my father, and the only father I really truly need at the end of the day. But I didn't know that at the time. So for me, it was a struggle to try to figure out what's a man supposed to be like, because TV says I'm supposed to be rough and tumble. I'm supposed to somebody offend me, I'm supposed to punch him out, or I can't cry, all the things that are these norms that people talk about that men are supposed to do. I believe that stuff. I didn't have any other uh countering example of it. So very complicated childhood, but I think I came out okay.

SPEAKER_01: 13:02

Wow, that's beautiful. Uh wow. I feel like um not only does that question is so loaded, but your answer is even more. Um, you know, when you look at your your upbringing and and what you did not see growing up and trying to not repeat that pattern, I in my own personal experience, uh not not to dive too much into it because I want I want more of what you what you got placed inside of you to come out uh during this time to to help, you know, fathers and and men and moms who have children and they're raising men and even fathers as well. So uh, you know, when when you look at the fact that you you didn't have when you don't have those that example in front of you, I think the one thing that I I love about God is that you know he tries, he reaches us where we are, and he does what he can to to pull us, and we have to say yes to him. But then when we do, he starts to bring in, and they they're not the necessary, sometimes it's not necessarily the person that should have been there because that person doesn't want to be there because we all have you know free will. But he'll bring in a substitute, somebody that can uh guide you, you know, in in the ways that you should go and train you and and let you see what you didn't weren't able to see. And and and I think, and of course it starts with us accepting God as the father and being healed so that we can receive, you know, like because you mentioned that when you've been hurt like that, uh by you know, father or mother, uh, in this case your father, it's hard for you to trust, you know, people because you're your your our mechanism for protecting ourselves is to put that wall up or guard ourselves, right? And then when we do that, it's it's we the when we when we ourselves and our own strength as human beings put that wall up, yeah, we're protecting ourselves for one thing, but we're also forfeiting other things that are just as equally important. So for example, um, I could put a wall up and you know, say that I can't let you get close to me, but I'm also forfeiting a relationship, I'm forfeiting that, you know, the opportunity to trust somebody that is actually good for me. And and because I haven't seen that, I can't even recognize it, right? And it is right in front of me. Um, so the very thing that could be there to help me is actually the thing I'm pushing away.

SPEAKER_00: 15:27

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01: 15:27

So it's very good. You please go more deep into that if you want to. You can expound on that before we go on to the next.

SPEAKER_02: 15:34

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, that's that's a real thing that you're describing right there. And you know, being in areas, uh specific areas of ministry, and then just what I've learned through the coaching, uh, my coaching journey, which has been about 27, 28 years or so. I see people who have 20, 30, 40 years of this kind of uh emotional baggage, and it's been left undealt with. I mean, could you imagine coming home from a long trip and all your clothes are still inside the bag inside your bag and you don't take them out and wash them and stuff? Could you imagine what that situation is gonna be like when you finally open the bag? I mean, that's that's that's what's happening spiritually to a lot of people. They have this baggage and it's not touched, it's a sore spot, it's sitting in the closet, they ain't gonna mess with it. But it creates a stench, it creates uh uh a situation that can affect everybody in the household after a certain amount of time. And I just feel like, you know, dealing with these things and being upfront, and it's something that men do struggle with. Transparency and open and honesty sometimes is weaponized against men sometimes in certain situations. So I do understand why that happens. But it's something that honestly, I got I got freed by being willing to be open to do that. Uh you were talking about having people around that kind of kind of take the place of the person who didn't want to be there. Unfortunately, my story is not, it's not, it's not uh cherries and whipped cream. I I didn't have that. I didn't have mentorship or a quote unquote father figure to speak of. There are people who may have tried, but their their worst inclinations got the got the better of them and they couldn't stay in that capacity. So I went through a lot of years never having that. I found more solace and more mentorship in books, and I learned a lot about myself through books than I did about somebody who was there to walk me through a journey. I didn't have an Elijah walking me through, I didn't have a Paul walking me through a journey. And I hadn't had that. Honestly, I've been in ministry this uh in a couple months, it'll be 30, well, about 30 years almost. I've never, I never really had that. So it's it's one of those things where I'm really learning how to be reliant on God the Father and for God to wear all the hats that he wears in my life because I don't have any uh point of reference to, you know what, this person did this, this is my spiritual father, he brought me through this. A lot of people have that. I'm not mad, I'm not envious. I'm grateful that you have that, but that's not my story. I didn't I really didn't have that a lot.

SPEAKER_01: 19:04

And I think I think God knew exactly what he was doing in your life and and how he would maneuver through that. Because the thing is we we also can't box God in. So yeah, he can use that, and then he can do it a different way, however he wants to do it, but the purpose is still there. Um you know, for me personally in my life, I I didn't have my my biological father. My my story is very strange, very unique. Um, my mom was violated when she was 14, and then she got pregnant with me. Um and then it's okay. Um, and then at 15 she had me. And um I didn't find out who my biological father was until 2023, I believe. Wow. Um, so I was like 30 something. Oh, I'm 34 now. So I was like 33, 30, 32, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 19:54

About that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 19:55

Um, yeah, so uh, or yeah, 30. Yeah, 32, I think. So um, yeah, uh, and then you know, finding out who my father, but before finding out who my biological father was, like I had I did have my stepdad in my life uh when I turned nine, up until I was like 15 years old, and he wasn't perfect, but he was what I needed for that time. Um and and then, and I still had so much more to learn because my stepdad, his father wasn't there for him. So, you know, there were things that he didn't know how to do, but he did his best. And I I I can only really say really good things about him because he protected me. I lived, I grew up in the hood and it was very violent, and there's a lot of sexual abuse and stuff. Thank God he protected me from that. Um, it was just because of his name and who he was, and people feared that. So, like I said, he wasn't perfect, like he was he was selling drugs and stuff, but people feared him, which is why I was always protected. Um, and uh, you know, and he kind of took me under his wing like I was his own kid and taught me, you know, school that it was important, even though he was doing you know crazy stuff. He was like, You're gonna get an education, you're gonna graduate. So there were good things that came out of that. And there were certain places he could take me that that, and then certain places he couldn't. And then when I came to North Palm, that's when things started to change because first I accepted Christ and my heart as my as my everything, my my savior, my father, my friend, everything. And um, and he started to heal me. And then I think that's how I I started to see that like the people in my life, Pastor Mark, Gene, um, at that time, they were men in my life that really had my best interest at heart. Um, you know, like I remember Gene is another guy in our church, guys, and he he's a leader in our church. Um, he's from Haiti. And I remember one day we had a Valentine's Day party, and I was still learning how to, you know, love myself and not be kind of like flashy and all this stuff, which is why I'm very grateful that I didn't become an influencer or creator until after the Lord had saved me and I had gone through my process. Because before then I was very, very much all about me. Um but uh so I remember we had a Valentine's Day party at our church, and I I came to the church. I invited my cousin to go with me, and I was still in my process learning about God and learning how to dress nicely because at the time I was still dressing provocatively. And um, I came to church and I had I I went to the mall with my cousin and we were running late. So I just grabbed an outfit from a store that was a very provocative store that I always bought stuff from, and I was like, Well, let's go just to let's get it. So we got our clothes, and I had a very the skirt was kind of short. The funny thing is, I felt like it was too short. And I asked my cousin if it was okay, and she's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why. I, you know, I'm still learning, she's still learning. So asking her is not really gonna help. So, anyway, I put on this outfit. We changed in the car. I got into the building of the church, and Gene pulls me to the side. He pulls me into a private room, he leaves the door open, and I like I noticed all this that he's doing. So he says, Come on, I talk to you for a second. I was like, Okay. So he takes me into the green room, he leaves the door open. As he talks with me, he stands by the door and he said, You know, come on in. And then he says, Um, first one I asked you this question, how do you see me? I said, like a father, just like that, because that's how I saw him. Um, he did he had, you know, taught me so much about God and and and you know, I had grown to trust him. And he said, Great answer. That's exactly the answer I wanted you to give. He was like, I want you to understand that you are a woman of God. And he starts speaking to my dad. He didn't need to say anything about my clothes. He just started speaking to me, my identity. And he was like, I want you to know who you are. You are a woman of God, and you will attract the right man, and the right man will see you as a woman of God, and they will love you for who God, what God has placed in you and what God is doing in you and the character of you, not just what you're on the outside. You know, not that you're not beautiful, but it's going to be more than that. And he just starts speaking to me. And immediately after he's finished talking, I was like, Is this about my outfit? Like he didn't even say that. You said it. I said, okay, I'll go to change. I'm gonna go. I said I have my pants still in the car, I will change the skirt. And the top was fine. It was just the skirt was too short. And so I changed and came back in. And I felt great about that. Now he had been in a place in my life where I respected him. So when he um when he did that, when he pulled me to the side and you started to speak to my identity, it's like I, it's like I was, and I was a teenager at the time. So I was like, it was like I was craving this structure that I didn't have before.

SPEAKER_00: 24:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 24:36

And I wanted to do the right thing. I just didn't know that this was the right thing. You know, like I was just doing what was habit, you know, it was a pattern. And um, and these those things have to be, you know, rewired. Like you have to change the way you you think when you come to the you know, kingdom of God. So that you can see things properly and different and start to see yourself and love yourself for who you are. Um, so it's interesting that, you know, uh Gene played that role in my life, and I still I to this very day I respect him, and we have a great relationship, him and his wife, and they're very close friends with me and my husband. But yeah, so that gets me into this next question I have for you is like a lot of men inherit patterns. So we talk about like this habitual thing that we grew up with, and and we inherit these patterns before we discover purpose. So looking back now, uh, how did your early life prepare you to eventually speak into faith fatherhood and leadership?

SPEAKER_02: 25:34

How did early life influence the now? Great question. I like it, I like it. Uh I I think one of the things that this is this might come off weird, and I I reckon I even in my head, it sounds weird. But there's always a perception of, you know, a mama's boy being in a negative and people get ridiculed for this. Uh for for me, I I'm not saying it was the ideal situation, yeah. Having a father, a loving father in a household is always a good situation because a family together is obviously better together. But when I look at uh you know the relationship I had with my mother, I think I don't think she overcompensated on purpose because of a father not being there present in the house. But we had a relationship where it was almost like almost like a she could she could talk to me sternly and let me know where I'm I'm messing up, discipline-wise, correction-wise, but it felt like I was talking to a friend a lot of the times. And it gave me a lot of comfort and it made me want to please her. And what I did was I looked at her life because I understood the background from the island that she's from, and where my grandmother's from, and what they went through there, uh, and what they dealt with, and to see them come to this country and and do what they've done, how they crafted uh a viable life for themselves, where they are not just coming and taking and being consumers, but they're serving and giving still. Even when they don't have as much as you'd like to have to be able to give, they were doing that. And I feel like that's one of the things that I pulled from that, from that uh existence, from that experience, is our heart of generosity. And I really feel like that is what kind of drives almost everything that I do. I mean, I I've been coaching for 27, almost 28 years, and a lot of that I think 25 of it was free. I was coaching people free for two decades, two and a half decades. Uh I look at times where I've given my literal shoes. My wife and I had a restaurant in South Carolina. I give my literal shoes off my feet because a young boy who walks in there with his parents doesn't have anything. His shoes are just destroyed. Barely on his feet. I'm like, why you why you even out here with this? I find out what his shoe size was and I gave him my shoes. And I walked to the car in my socks and drove home in my socks. Every time I give my little shirt or sweater off my back to give to somebody, I couldn't credit God for that overall, but my mom and my grandmother, they forged that kind of uh lifestyle of generosity. And I believe that's a big part in why I do what I do and why I reach out to people the way I do, how I treat men who are in similar backgrounds as myself, is because I want them to have what I didn't have, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00: 28:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 28:50

Um, so before we get on to the uh next portion of our our time today, um, I want to introduce one of our sponsors. This is Jace Medical. Um and uh Jace Medicals, I want to just pause for a second because uh Jace Medicals, they deal with in preparation for uh natural events that could take place. And so um I want you guys to take a look at this video and we'll come right back. You probably saw the flooding in Texas, like major flash floods in San Antonio, people getting rescued from their cars, neighborhoods underwater. It's heartbreaking. And honestly, it's a wake-up call. We don't think about this stuff until it's too late. Like, what if the roads are shut down? What if you can't get to a pharmacy? What if someone in your house needs antibiotics or emergency meds and help is not coming fast enough? That's where Jace medical kids come in. They are phenomenal. It's a little emergency supply of life-saving antibiotics and other meds prescribed to you and shipped to you. This is prescribed medications from real physicians. They're able to customize a package for you. I didn't get mine because I'm paranoid. I got mine because I've got kids, a husband, family, and friends and neighbors around me. And if a flood storm, blackout, or whatever happens, you don't want to wait on medical services if you're someone who requires meds like albuterol or insulin. So if you've been thinking or haven't set a plan for having emergency meds on standby, don't wait. Jace Medical makes it super simple. You can use my code Aesha ISHA and you'll get a great discount on medications that you need. You can find the link in the bio or the description. Okay guys, if you want to check out Jace Medical, go to jace medical.com. You can use my coupon my code Aisha All Lore Case when you're checking out, and it will um give you a very nice discount. Um, I love Jace Medicals. They have real doctors prescribing these medications, and this is your own um set of medications in case there is a natural disaster, you have you know um something prepared for you in the areas of of medications that are a necessity. So check them out, jacemedical.com, and then use my code when you do. Um okay, so Yusuf, you shared um with me privately that you escaped death multiple times and that those moments became conversational points for you. Um take us into the first one. Like what happened and where was your faith at that time?

SPEAKER_02: 31:06

The first one. Uh I felt like it was uh the most pivotal because even though I lived in a neighborhood where I was acquainted with death, I was acquainted with tragedy, I was uh acquainted with loss. I seen people die in the streets that I live on. I seen houses burned down and people are all homeless instantly. I seen all kinds of things. But one, uh, I was run over by a city bus in in New York City when I was uh in Brooklyn when I was about 13 years old. Uh the driver, this is this is a a weird story, but I'll try to keep it just brief, just for brevity say. Uh he was driving the bus and customary day, pull a lever and it opens the door. I I took one foot onto the bus to get on, and he closed the door before I got the other foot on. And then started driving away. Look like he was in a trance because he didn't have any facial feature or reaction. He was just looking straight ahead and just driving out and all my friends were on the back of the bus screaming. And I'm hanging out of the bus and coming dangerously fast to a fire hydrant where my head, you know, is almost in line with the fire hydrant. My leg came out and the bus ran over me and then eventually stopped. And it was traumatic because everything seemed to slow down. I saw all my friends in slow motion in the back screaming and crying, calling my name. I'm like, I didn't know if I was out of body, if I was alive, I couldn't even tell because I'm like, the bus just ran me over. I didn't know if I was still here or what. And that was probably one of the most traumatic ones because I'm like, wow. It began to cause uh a chain of events to happen because my mother was pregnant with my sister at the time. So I was thinking about her, like, she's dangerously close to being, you know, coming to terms. I don't I'm thinking about her feelings about this, but is it gonna stress her out? Is it gonna make her lose the baby? So I was thinking of all kinds of stuff. So that was probably one of those situations that was scariest. I'm like, when you don't have any control of that, it's like it makes it even double double scary. If I if I that's that's a word. So that was that was the one thing, but I just I saw God's grace in that because I'm like, it could have been so bad. I mean, if I only had one leg, at least I was still alive. So I just saw life differently from that experience.

SPEAKER_01: 34:24

Wow. Um, at that time in your life, you know, I know that you were very young. When did you give your life to the Lord?

SPEAKER_02: 34:34

Well, that was after another near different experience. I was actually involved, and this is a story that's probably gonna turn into another story, so I just try to be previously. Sorry for layering on stories here. But when I was telling you about my upbringing as uh as a young brown and black man when you don't have a father in the house, you're susceptible to a lot of things. Drugs, cults, gangs, you name it. I was subject to all of those things. Well, during that time, in a search for validation and for love and for brotherhood, I found myself enjoyed in an Islamic cult. And I was involved with them for about 10 years. What they offered was the kind of things that everybody should want, but I didn't read the fine print. And I found out that what they were offering, there was more behind it that I didn't realize. And long story short, I saw things that were unspeakable that were taking place there. I saw uh the impact of demonic spirits, I saw brutality, I saw evil face-to-face, I saw malice and all the things that didn't line up with the love that I read about from God in the scriptures. And there was a point where my life was being threatened in that, in that situation. So I knew it was it's time for me to go. So I I kind of did what the uh spies did when Rahab had to hide them so they can so they can get out. That's what I did to get out of the uh the place where I was without being uh beaten or worse, because that was the that was a threat being made against my life. And one of the during the transition time, I was the victim of an armed robbery. A gentleman had uh, I was still wearing Islamic garb. So there's a reputation about those people in New York, they they they run deep. So you must say one, the whole community can be at your doorstep, it can be a thing. So it was a uh a bit of fear and intimidation that was involved with that particular sect of uh Islam at the time. But I was uh actually still in my garb mentally. I think I was already out, but I hadn't fully transitioned out yet. And a guy came up from behind a tree. I was walking to my mother's house after working and put a revolver to my head or close close to my head. As far as my microphone is from my face right now, that's how far that gun was. I believe it was loaded. It was a revolver, so I thought I could see that. And he had his finger on the trigger, which is like a no-no for anybody that's a gun owner. You don't do that, you don't put your finger on the trigger until you're ready to shoot something, just for safety reasons. He had his finger on the trigger and his hand was shaking violently a few inches from my head. So I'm sitting here thinking, oh, mom is right over here, five houses down. Is this how I'm gonna go out? So he made me re-evaluate my entire life. Uh, I did come out without being shot. I didn't lose anything of any real value. And I did what you see in the movies, what you see on TV shows. I got to my mom's step after the adrenaline started to die down. And I said, Went to the heavens, you know, speaking into the air, speaking to the ether. I said, God, if you're real, you know how it goes. I need you to do this. I need you to show up and do this. And I believe he did that. It was about eight to ten years before I sort of actually culminate. I was still in New York for a while, living my life. But about eight or ten years later, I got an opportunity to, I was doing music up there. I was doing, I was an RB hip hop artist, uh, independent artist in New York at the time. And some things were going on with our record company that wasn't quite right. So we weren't, we didn't like that. So we decided to change scenery and move to South Carolina of all places. I have no idea why we picked this place, but moved to South Carolina to start doing some production together. We came down here. I met my beautiful wife of almost 30 years now. And I invited myself to her church. I heard so much about God and Jesus from her. I said, is it the same one that my mother and my grandmother follow, or just a different? Because it sounded different to me. It didn't sound religious and practical and routine and ritualistic. So I wanted to go to her church to find out that Jesus she was talking. Maybe I'll meet him there. That was my plan. And I I ran smack into the presence of God. The I would call it the fiery presence of God. I feel like I was on fire. And I was on my face crying on the floor, service was going on, and I didn't see or hear anything that was going on. I was in a whole different dimension, if you will. That's when I realized that not only did God answer my prayer, but he saved my soul. And that was the uh the change that kind of changed everything and kind of sparked the person you're seeing now.

SPEAKER_01: 39:29

That's so beautiful. I wanna um I wanna kind of uh hit more on the Islamic portion of your life. Um, and correct me if I'm wrong. When I was in college, I was at the College of Charleston, I took a religious studies class, and my teacher was the head of the religious study unit, and this woman was well traveled. She was brilliant in different religions around the world. And uh for that class, I took that class because as an evangelist, I wanted to learn about these different religions because I was at the this college and I saw, I I met Buddhists, I'm people that you know believe in Buddhism and all that, and I was ministering to them. I I even had, thank the Lord, uh, a couple of them actually gave their life to the Lord, which was really cool. And just ministering to them and just eating with them and being with them and talking about God and just being that display, and it was just natural for me because like God did so much for me. I'm like, I gotta tell you about Him. And you know, you learn that you know there's only one God, you know. So you you start, you know, sharing that with people, and and you know, some people accept, some people don't. But when I was in this religious studies class, I took because I wanted to learn more about how I could reach many different people, and I also thought I would be a missionary too. I thought I would go when I was younger. So this this woman, um, she would the funny thing is, I don't know how many people were Christian in that class. Um, and at this time I was going through the school of discipleship at our church, and this is guys where they train you about the word of God. You get you go to a deep study of the word of God, and you're with the class, and you learn basically the values of our church and what we believe, and and you know, you start to understand the word of God more, and so where you're able to articulate it in a loving, you know, loving way, and you do do that soundly and biblically. So, and at this time, school of discipleship was a year-long process. Because I think right now it's like a month for your first mom. So it was a year-long fun process. I really enjoyed it because I got to meet new friends. But to get back to my point, um, at this point, so as you understand, I've I have been learning the word of God, right? And so this woman, the the teacher, or the at my at this at the college, she would always say, she would tie back into something that we were learning, back to the Bible for some reason. And it was always critical. So one thing I remember her saying was, um, she's like, You uh, you know, in in Hinduism, or we're talking about different religions, she was like, you know, you gotta attain this or attain that. And then, you know, in the Christian religion, for example, you can't have the knowledge of God. You can't know the knowledge of God. And I'm like, I would always challenge the things she would say because of what I learned at North Palm, you know, and and they encourage you at North Palm to read your Bible. You need to read it to know what it says. You need to do study, you need to understand the Greek, the Hebrew meaning. Like, they are very big on that. And so, like, you just learn when you are in that environment. So I was like, raise my hand every single time and challenge her. And I said, That's not true because the word of God says that my people die for lack of knowledge. You know, I said, So why would he tell us that if we couldn't obtain it? You know, so and then she would always be like, Okay, let's talk about this. Let's why don't you come to my office? And I would go to her office and we would always talk all the time, and I would always raise my hand every single time. And then at the end of that class, I had people come up and were like, Thank you so much for standing up because they were all mute. I don't know if because of, I don't know why, but I just could not because I was like, Don't put that lie out in the air, you know. God wants us to know him, he wants us to understand things. And but she we have to study the Quran. And I remember I laid down, you know, my Bible because this is a part of the class. You have to study the Quran, you have to study the um the Hindu uh books that she gave us and all this, all those different things, and you have to take testes on them. So I studied the um had to read the Quran, and I remember I said, God, I know that you know there's all these different things, and all these religions can sound to man as if they are the right thing. You know, you need the spirit of God to discern this stuff. So I was like, I said, okay, God, I'm gonna lay down the Bible, I'm gonna lay down everything I learned, and I'm gonna ask you to speak to me, you know, about this. And so I read through the Quran, and I got this feel, and that's why I want you to correct me if I'm wrong of your own personal experience. But when you read the Bible, you can feel the presence of it's different. You feel something. It's like you feel the presence of God, it's like a piece, and you keep reading, you start to, it's weird. It's just it's just cool, it's cool. It's like it's just the spirit of God. You just know something's different. When I read the Quran, it made me feel that I was having to like be in this place of self-righteousness where it was more so ritual, like you said, ritual-based, but more so like um my performance and a set of rules, and um like it was made, it felt man-made because I had read the Bible, understood the Bible, and you know, I'd studied it, and then I had to read the Quran. And I was like, it and it does if you read it, you kind of feel like and you don't, you know, you don't read the Bible, it does feel like this is right because per a human being, like there should be a set of rules, there should be a set of things that I have to do to obtain this. Like, whereas the Bible is like, it's your faith. Like, just believe, if you believe that you know, if you accept Jesus Christ as Lord and you believe in your heart that God rose him from the dead, then you shall be safe, right? Which is like it's simple. It's like this is what brings you to righteousness, this is what brings you to um acceptance of the Father, right? Into heaven. Whereas this other thing, I have to do a set of different things to get there. And it kind of felt like like more so like I was gonna be in this place of self-righteousness where I'd have to prove and if that makes sense, I have to prove and I have to to do to earn. Um what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts? Because you're you've got more experience than me.

SPEAKER_02: 45:09

Yeah, I don't remember the in the entire Quran just to be just to be fair, but I did read it. Um, and like you said, when you read the Bible, because words are spirit, you are definitely uh picking up on the heart of the writer of the Bible. So that's that's that's fair. If you haven't experienced that, you don't know what's missing. Uh, but in regards to the Quran, you know, that's that's that's definitely something I felt a couple of things when I read. I felt like you said, kind of like it was a schoolmaster talking to me, telling me how to do these things. But but for me, it felt like they were, even if I did those things, there's still a chance it might not be enough. And it it it kind of kind of had of a to me, this is what I recall from many years ago, it had kind of a an indefinite feel like, you know, do all this stuff, but there's still a chance that you might not might do more, you know. It didn't seem to have uh Finality to it. The only thing that had where I saw finality was in the in the judgment. If you don't do this, you're considered a non-believer, and this final thing is gonna happen to you. That part was the only part that's final. In the works and in the efforts to do this, I never got that. And the other thing I felt was frenzy. I felt like I felt like I felt like this antagonistic is the only way I could think of to describe it as probably not the right word, but I felt like it was like a frenzied kind of feeling. And that's not it's the actual opposite of peace. It's not it's not peace at all. And I felt that when I read it, and it was almost like, you know, when people who I was in community with, when they would read it, you can tell their attitude changed. They were hopped up, like they were ready to fight. I'm like, and I noted that, but didn't question it, didn't say anything about it. I kind of just like sat back and observed like, wow, they read this and now they want to, and now they're more aggressive. So how how can that how can that be so? So I was just trying to understand what I was reading, but yeah, you're totally right. It definitely does have that feel to it when you read it.

SPEAKER_01: 47:23

Wow. Yeah, thank you for breaking that down. Um, I wanted to that kind of makes me wonder if this is the reason why many people go to this radical place.

SPEAKER_02: 47:31

Um you know, it's exactly it's exactly the reason why. It's exactly why. It's it's it's honestly, and this is uh to be fair, I was in one of 73 different sects of Islam at the time. The number may be increased or decreased, I don't know, haven't done the research. But at the time, in that time in the 90s, it was 73 different sects of Muslims worldwide. I was just in one of 73 different sects. The one I was in, they uh they definitely had a lot of anti-American views for sure. It uh it was a hotbed for all the things that especially, and and I mean this with uh no disrespect, they have a they had a massive black and brown population. So you can imagine what the offerings were. Whatever you think, whatever you imagine in your mind that black and brown folks are dealing with in that area of the world in New York in those times in the 80s and the 90s, whatever you can imagine we dealt with areas where we didn't get what we needed, or we were marginalized. This this uh these teachings definitely spoke to that, and and you know, Mr. Fire ignited that and made that something that, you know, kind of uh I won't say radicalized, because I know where we're going with that, but I I don't think I really mean that in this in this setting, but it definitely did ignite and stoke some of those fires that black and brown folks are dealing with at the time, anyways. So it definitely spoke to that for sure.

SPEAKER_01: 49:07

Kind of reminds me of, I don't know if you I'm I'm pretty sure you've heard of this, but I don't know how much you know of of Zaram Andani, the mayor of New York City. Because he his campaign he ran on a lot of the promises of the issues that's happening in that city for for those that are struggling, you know, financially. And um, it kind of what you said just reminded me of that, like hitting on those pain points and promising this and that, you know. Um yeah to gain support of the people. Yeah. Uh every politician does that, but I think when you are talking about somebody who believes, you know, in this religion, it's very unique. Um, because the aim is not necessarily, oh, just make me your politician. There is always that that other motive, right? Of um, you know, conquering the world for um Muhammad and it's not Shawia law because that's not what we need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, good, that's good. Uh so um so my next question for you, um for us to reflect on. It seems like a lot of men don't slow down until life like forces them to. Uh, let's talk about we talked about your second near-death experience. Can you go into just give us like the again your the third near-death experience you have? And third, uh how's that different and what changed permanently in you?

SPEAKER_02: 50:33

Yeah, there's a there's a lot of stuff. This this this happened more than this happened more than than than three times. But those those two those those two were the biggest. But I think the other one uh I could think of was I was in New York at the time. My mom had uh she was she was she was renting the brownstone that we lived in for most of my life, and she finally got her own house in the air in the area of Flatbush. And what my plan was to go and uh surprise her at her new house. That was my plan. So I got into my little car, had me a little uh little red Toyota, got in my car, and I was gonna go ahead and go and sneak up and visit. She had no idea. I would have bring some flowers and candy and the whole nine yards. You're surprised to say, you know, pride of your mom for getting your to me. I watched her work her entire life. Two two jobs and going to school in the medical field. I watched her do this, reading calculus books to her eyes till she fell asleep in them. I watched her to me. So I used to I even made food for her almost every night. Same same meal every night, but she loved me. She didn't say nothing. It was French fries and chicken patties. She didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_01: 51:50

I love french fries.

SPEAKER_02: 51:51

I made it me too. Uh the chicken patties were good too at the time, but I couldn't use the stove. I wouldn't allow it to that when she was at the home, so I was doing the oven. So whatever. But I tried to sneak up to uh to visit her and I had to go to a stop sign. This is a four, this is a four-way stop, but the road is so massive that you can't see the cars from either side unless until they're there. If I can lower hill, they come over. Well, I look both ways like you're supposed to do. I even paused and waited a little longer. Went ahead and drove to a stop sign. All I heard was a busting in my right ear. A busting that grew in intensity in seconds. Car slammed into me, and my car went into a fire hydrant, knocked me out. I thought, I mean, I woke up like didn't know where I was. I thought I was a garner. You know, had to call my mom and she had to come out there and she would just panic and stressed out. It was just like, what is going on? I just came to surprise you, Ma, but I I stressed you out instead of surprising you. I made you I made your life miserable. But uh, but that that those kind of things, I didn't realize if there's any kind of spiritual connection to those things at the time. But for me, I was just like, I don't think I don't think I'm unlucky or I don't have no bad juju. I mean, I didn't think that kind of thing. I'm just like, why is this stuff happening? I'm trying to do good things and bad stuff is happening to me. So it just made me kind of just reevaluate life and look at, you know what? Tomorrow is not promised. I got to take advantage of today. So those kind of incidents, like all three of those, what it really made me do was not get so caught up in the future because New Yorkers can do that. They get caught up in the next thing and ignore, you know, what's happening right now. So I'm looking I learned from that and still even learn it today, not to put the future in such a priority, not forget about the present and enjoy the flowers while I can appreciate them now and learn to kind of enjoy the present while I had it, because in 24 hours it's it's it's gone to the next thing. So just kind of learn how to just appreciate life. So those situations help me do that.

unknown: 53:53

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 53:54

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SPEAKER_02: 56:33

Well, you know, in those days, my only example of of fatherhood was the cosplay show. 1984 in the mid early to mid-80s. Uh, so I really I didn't have a lot of examples of that beyond the sitcom. And when I wrote The Heart of the Stepfather, this was in the year and the date. I'm I'm I'm that's 2016. When I wrote that, I wrote it in six weeks, 194 pages. I would go to work at my uh government job and I'd come home and I would write into the night. So I finished it in, and most of that six weeks were just editing and going back and proofreading. It was written long before in a month or so. But I was on fire. I felt like it was like it wasn't just therapy for the people who were reading it, who may have to deal with the whole father versus stepfather narrative, or just the narrative of what men would uh how how men are seen, how men are are trusted and experienced in today's time. So for me, I really felt like I needed to get therapy for myself because that book helped me and healed me as much as it did anybody else. So I felt like I had to write it because I I heard so many, heard from so many people who were in my position or even maybe even in a worse situation where they had violence in the household and a lot of other things. And I didn't have a lot of that. It was just I feel like it was a clarion call to the people who are doing fatherhood right. I I joke about this, but it's not really a joke. It's kind of one of my, it's kind of a tongue-in-cheek kind of thing where Mother's Day comes around, it's a full, full court press. You see all of the commercials, you can't take your eyes off there on every channel, no matter what you're watching on TV. You hear about it on the radio, Mother's Day deals, all kinds of stuff. Father's Day comes around, you're gonna get a tool, a visor, or a hat made a macaroni. That's your that's that's that's that's that's the pinnacle. And I felt like we were fight, I felt like I was part of a fight to uh serve marginalized men who are doing fatherhood right, and you never hear about it. You never hear about the stories of men who are taking care of their business. Or you hear the outlies of people who are not doing it, who are abandoning their kids, not showing up for their kids, and just being horrible examples of what a quality is. So I feel like that book was, at least that was my plan at the time. My that book was uh uh to be an eye-opening expose into what men are really doing that doesn't get talked about. There's a lot of men I hear that are excellent fathers, and you never hear a word about it. So the book was designed to kind of uh open some eyes on that front. Short story.

SPEAKER_01: 59:30

Do you think that society has lowered expectations for fathers or discourage men from stepping fully into that role?

SPEAKER_02: 59:38

Society? Uh I don't think society has lowered expectations. I kind of feel like society just has decided that it's not really relevant. It's not it's not important. I seen it in the school system when I was going to uh do things with my girls and and and try to be uh a father, be attendant, go to PTA meetings and that kind of stuff. They just it it was like we weren't relevant. And I seen that across the board. No mothers are the ones that you talk to, the fathers are just there, they're just sperm drones, I guess you could say. Nobody even cares. So society's not even lower in the bar, they just don't seem to care. We seem to be non-existent, and I hear that from a lot of men that they kind of agree with that assessment.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:26

I love your um desire to make sure that you put on notice what's not being reported, you know, about the fathers that that are actually doing it. I got our church, I love that our church has a many different fathers, even those that are black, you know, brown. Um, because that that seems to be the you know the the truth the thing, which most black men are not in the homes. But um when I look at our church, it's the culture is so different. Um, I remember when I went to to when I was an educator with heritage community services and I would go to these different schools, and I remember um I would talk about my husband and I, and you know, he's white and I'm black, but I don't think about it like that. You know, like I'm not like, oh, my man is white, you know. I love him, you know. Yeah, I don't think about it like that, you know. Yeah, he's white, but who cares, you know? Um, and so when I talk about him at these schools, though, it's funny that the these are teenagers of high school students, and the first thing they'll ask me when I talk about my husband's character and who he was, like as I talk about as it relates to what I'm teaching, because I only give what what when it relates, um, they're like, Well, can we see a picture of your husband? I'm like, sure. And I show them a picture and they'll be like, We knew it. He's white. And I'm like, Wow, yes, I get that so, so much. And I'm like, I and I get where they're where they're coming from, especially if you grew up in a home where your father was black or your stepfather was black, and they didn't, you know, give a great display of what father look a father looks like. I get it, because that's all you've seen. So you think on the other side, and because you don't hear it, you know, necessarily reported that this this is not necessarily just a one person or one-sided thing, like this can happen across the board. Um, it might be more prevalent in one you know, society or one uh demographic, but it's it happens across the board. But when you look at our church, for example, I'm like, you you know, this is where I tell them, I'm like, no, black men actually, there are black men that actually are very faithful to their families and their children, and they're more, they're very involved in their kids' lives. And um, they're like, where's that at? Where can I find, you know, and I'm like, you need to come to the right church, you know, like our church, like there's a standard. Our pastor holds the men, Pastor Mark, he holds the standard, right? And um, and he expects the men and leadership under him to hold that stand. And it's a godly standard, you know, like the word of God says, if you don't take care of your family, you're worse than an unbeliever. So, um, and he he doesn't, Pastor Mark doesn't sugarcoat that for nobody. So it's like, and he's like, you have to provide for your family. He's really big on that. And I I love that um many, the men under, you know, we have a ton of men in our church that they are growing in that, even if they didn't have a father figure in home. Um, we're seeing that. So um, but I think it is definitely something that has to be, you know, you you learn, or you know, you God meets you where you are and you start to see that or desire something different because you just don't want your kids to grow up experiencing what you did. You want something better.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:21

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:22

And uh yeah. Um, so I know we're getting kind of close to the end of our time here. I'm gonna do you want to comment on that before we move to the next question?

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:30

We can move on. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:32

Okay. So um, as we we're gonna get to the end of our time here because we're right at three. Um, but uh give me one second, let me uh switch out here. My laptop doesn't die on us.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:56

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:58

Okay, there we go. We're good, we're good. Um, okay. So I I did have a couple more questions for you, but I want I want to pick the best one as we close out. Um I I think this one is really good. Uh, maybe for those that are watching, I'm trying to give y'all the best, best, juiciest question that I could give Yusef to answer for us that'll leave y'all with something very encouraging and inspiring. Um, let's let's let's end with this one. How does faith anchor a man when leadership feels heavy?

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:27

Repeat that real quick for me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:30

How does uh how does faith anchor a man when leadership feels heavy?

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:38

I think that's a great question. Uh I think faith anchors a man when leadership is heavy. When uh we can have a a good sense of of why we're doing what we're doing and who we're doing it for. If we're trying to please people and whether be on social media with analytics and likes and data and subscribes, if we're trying to please those people who you really can't please, you find yourself in a in in a in a hamster wheel. But if you recognize that as a leader, you're you're only leading because you've been graced to lead by someone. I believe kickstands with a really short answer, but hope that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:20

That was a powerful one. That was a really good answer. Uh that was the most concise, powerful answer I think I've I've I've gotten. It's really good. Um, yeah, that's really good. Um, I love that. You know, I I think that could be applied for all of us, me as a woman, all of us, but getting back to purpose. You know, as to the why. And that ties into everything, right? Because I think, you know, I'm not a man, but when I think about my life, you know, the when I think about, you know, when something gets overwhelming or heavy for me, I it's the why. It's in it, it's I go back to, and it teaches this in business too, you know, your why. Um, but it has to, the why has to be more like it has to be more real and more tangible and more purposeful. That makes sense. Like I can't just say, you know, there could be a why that really matters, but it really it's not enough to hold me to the to the thing that I need to do. So for me, like when I know that, you know, God gave me a vision and he showed me this, you know, um, then I'm kind of like, I'm staying, I'm standing, even when it hurts, even when, you know, this doesn't feel right, or when I know that this is God's way of doing things or his standard, and it might not always be pleasant in his will. Um, it might be, I might have some challenges, but I know that this is his will, and I could go back and pinpoint that this is what he showed me to prove that this was his will, I'm I'm solid. You know, that settles it for me. So um, and that's purpose, you know. I love that. Um, okay, a final question as we end, and this is going to just be you talking to the audience. Um, if you had 60 seconds to speak to a man who wants to strengthen his family, but feels overwhelmed or unprepared, what would you tell him?

SPEAKER_02: 1:07:10

I would definitely tell that particular person that if you're trying to do this by yourself, you're you're you're destined to be in this kind of struggle with this mindset. Seek support and accountability from somebody who's further down the journey than you are, and allow them to speak into your situation. It's what I do on a regular basis, and I really believe that that's the key to how I got to where I am right now. That's all the accountability, I didn't try to stay in isolation, which makes me a clear mark for the enemy. I had to seek out support and accountability from people who have done what I'm trying to accomplish. Smart decision I ever made.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:49

That's another that's another very powerful packed answer that is very good.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:55

Yeah, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:56

That was so good. Because like I I know some men that don't like counseling, but they don't understand how effective it is, right? Um, you know, and I I your your answer kind of just hit all of that, right? You know, don't do it by yourself. I love it. Um Man, maybe the future we can get you back on to finish all these questions I have for men. And if you guys have questions for him, you could drop it in the comment section. I'll be happy to pass it along and um and have him connect with you. Um but Yusuf, I want to thank you so so much for giving me your time, bringing your expertise and wisdom to today's podcast, um, for shaping the foundation of our nation of our nation in terms of fatherhood and family. I think it's very, very powerful and definitely much needed in this time. Um I hope to have you on again to expound on more of this.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:43

Let's do it. I'm ready. Let's do it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:47

Okay, guys, um, y'all can join us um or join me again on next Saturday, 2 to 3 p.m. E. T. Stay Locked. If you haven't already, you can hit the follow and subscribe button. Um, Yusuf, you can find him at Mr. U. He is Mr. M I S T A U Y U, correct?

unknown: 1:09:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:09:05

M-I-S-T-A-Y-U. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:07

And he is on um YouTube. He also has his own um his own podcast as well. And um he also has his own website too, I believe. Uh can you share that website with us?

SPEAKER_02: 1:09:18

It's too long. I had to put it in, had to put it in the sh in the show notes. It's a super long website, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:23

I can add it in the um comment section for our show notes, guys, for everybody who liked to get um to find more out more about his counseling and services and things that he offers and groups that he has to empower men um as well. So, yeah, Yusuf, I want to thank you so much for being with me, for sharing everything. Uh I love the authenticity you bring. And um, and guys, I hope you guys are very blessed by this episode today. And I will see you guys next week. Bye for now.