How Digital Life Shrinks Critical Thinking And Memory - Arnold Beekes

Your phone makes life easier, but it may also be training your brain to quit. We sit down one-on-one with transformation trainer Arnold Beekes to get brutally honest about brain health, mental health, and the hidden costs of constant scrolling. Arnold shares his personal background growing up under an authoritarian father, how nonstop criticism shaped his inner critic, and why so many capable people still walk around feeling “not good enough.” That pain is real, but it is also workable once you can name the conditioning and stop treating it like a character flaw.

From there, we zoom out to society. Arnold breaks down the invisible straitjackets that come from parents, culture, school, industry, and media, and why they can push us into living someone else’s life. We talk screen time, sleep loss, and the growing “mind health” crisis in wealthy, tech-advanced countries. Then we tackle the term digital dementia: what it is, how passive consumption erodes memory, creativity, and critical thinking, and why outsourcing thinking to AI can quietly reduce our cognitive capability over time.

We end with practical brain fitness. Arnold teaches a simple approach built on diverge and converge: follow your curiosity, then create something with what you learn. He also shares how living in multiple countries without speaking the language forces growth through discomfort, connection, and real-world problem solving. If you want better focus, stronger mental resilience, and a clearer sense of self, press play, subscribe, and share this conversation with a friend, then leave us a review with the brain habit you’re changing first.

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome back to one-on-one with Mr. U, of course. I'm your host, Mr. U in studio with us. This is a transformation trainer right here. He is known to work with brain fitness and brain health. Arnold Beats is in the house. Arnold, how are you there, sir? Good to see you, man.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

I'm excellent. Thanks for being here again. I uh I'm really excited to get going.

Growing Up Under Constant Criticism

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Same here, same here. So we had a great conversation before we got to this place where we're having our live interview today. And you said some amazing things. I want to kind of flesh all that stuff out of you because I think all people need to hear what's going on inside here sometimes. So one of the things that you discuss uh a lot is you said that our brains are being downgraded. I want to kind of get into that, but before we do that, I'd love you to share a little bit about your background, kind of share a little bit about your childhood, where you came from, how you got from that place to the person you are today. Share that briefly if you can. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Well, it's it's not easy to do that short if you're as old as I am.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

It's okay, you got time.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Um, but I I I grew up in a family where my father was a military officer. Okay, and he was extremely authoritarian. I would say at home it was even worse than at work, and that had an impact on everybody in the family: his wife, the children, everybody, and there was only one way, and that was his way. And that meant that there was never. Well, I recently discussed with my sister. I said, Can you can you recall that at some point in time I I did get a compliment from my father? And she said, No. Oh wow, neither could I, yeah. So and and neither could I as it regard my sister. So we grew up in in an extremely hard environment, yeah, non-stop criticism, and that made me feel, and it's still not 100% out of my system yet. I easily feel not good enough.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

So that is um the environment where I grew up, now in hindsight, but I didn't know it then, obviously, because now there's a lot of well data, there's research, there's stuff about mental health, mental illnesses, etc. But when I grew up, um that stuff didn't exist. There was no internet, there was there was no stuff. So there's no way you could know. But if I look now back, I would say both my parents and both my younger brother and sister would now be labeled with a mental illness. I'm pretty sure about that. That's incredible. And some people might say I'm crazy as well, but it's like it's like I distracted myself by trying my best to do 200% what my father required me to do, and that is why, well, that has a positive side because I'm really, really very good in discipline, and I'm really really good in figuring things out myself and working on uh and learning and learning, constantly learning and growing and improving and improving and improving. That has the dark side as well, but it the the positive thing is that yeah, I developed that because I had to make sure that my father was not angry.

Depression And Breaking Old Beliefs

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Incredible man. There's so many things about your story I want to get into because I know that you talk a lot about brain fitness and you have some concerns about society as a whole. I want to get into all those things because it's so important to talk about that. Personally speaking, and you can get into as much of this as you want to. You dealt with depression, you dealt with uh areas where you had kind of life hit you, uh, divorce, you faced off against addiction, things like that. Can you can you can you guys speak to the people who are listening or watching that may still be facing off against those issues, they're still dealing with them, they haven't conquered them yet. How would you encourage them based on what you learned about yourself through coming through those trials and struggles? Can you speak to that a little bit to the listeners and the viewers for us?

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Yes, and I I would say you are not shay. There is nothing wrong with you, it's not your fault. I'm gonna repeat, it's not your fault, it's the fault of conditioning in a society, about other people, about the environment, which has an impact on you, and the result is that you most likely, including myself, felt lousy and like I am repeating myself not feeling good enough most of the time. That doesn't mean that I am not good enough, it is what I thought I'm not good enough because I was not sub-criticized, and that was not only when I was living at home, and then later on when I got out of the house and my father was still alive, whatever, it didn't change, yeah. So I had a very successful career in the corporate world, people would say, but he never said, Oh, Arnold, that's well done. So it's it's yeah, it's it's an ongoing thing, but it's like I would say, don't believe the people who have a judgment and an opinion about you. There is nothing wrong with you, and you you have we all have unlimited potential. There are the limitations are only in our own head. You should throw away those limitations, and you will be amazed at what you can do, you will be amazed about like I have no effing clue that I could do these things, yeah. And it's like all of these things are like that's why I use the word straight jackets, but we wear invisible straight jackets. So if I don't know I'm wearing a straight jacket, then it limits me, but I don't know why.

Invisible Straight Jackets In Life

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Gotcha. You mentioned something about the straight jackets. I think you mentioned three specific areas. I want to get into those when you talk about invisible conditioning because I totally agree with what you're saying about the conditioning. I know it's a real thing, it is for the most part invisible. You mentioned parents, culture, and you mentioned industry. Can you share some examples of each one and how those can be straight jackets for people?

SPEAKER_01 7:32

If you can tackle that one, yeah, I and I would like to to add media to that.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Sure, good idea. Media as well, good idea. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

So let's start with parents. And what I just shared about my parents, it had an impact on me, on my environment, on my family, but also on my sister, on my brother, on my mother. Yeah, so it's like it's it's and it doesn't mean what these people say or do that, that's true. And that is and and and let me go straight into something is that I felt never love. I don't know what it is to feel love because uh my first coach actually, and this is about 25 years ago, he said, Arnold, you're the man who grew up without love, and I I can totally relate to that now, but it it was a long part of it. But it's not that I hate my my father passed away 25 years ago, but it's like it's not that I hate him or I disgust him or whatever, it's like he did his best to the best of his abilities, and it's most likely that he didn't know love. My mother certainly didn't know love.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

So I will ask you about that. Okay, your mommy then.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

No way, no way. She she, yeah, so it's like that's the environment in which I grew up, but it's like it doesn't mean that they were horrible people, or it doesn't mean that they had bad intent. It was like you you cannot share what you don't know, you cannot share what you don't have, yeah. So makes sense, and and it's like I grew up in what you could say mental and emotional abuse, the people who grow up in environment with physical abuse, whatever, but it's got nothing to do with you. How hard this sounds simple, and I know it's not, yeah, but it's like it's it's it's it's gonna do something with the other person rather than with you. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

So what was your your next time was was society, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Right, culture, industry, and media culture is society, is like actually, that's the reason why they push us to go to education, they're gonna push you to go to school.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Why are we humans, and we compare ourselves most of them with the animal kingdom and everything else, and whatever. Why are we let's say at least 15 years of our life we're at school? Why are we at school? Because we're conditioned there to be obedient, conformistic people, and to learn that you exactly do what someone else tells you to do, and only to tell you that you are a good person if you do exactly what another person wants you to do, and and that is what I call living someone else's life. You're not living your own life, you're living the life of someone else. Yeah, I live the life of my of my father mainly, and then you live the life of your teachers, then you live the life of your bosses, yeah. So it's like everything is like when are you, Arnold? Yusuf, when are you okay when you do exactly what the other person tells you to do? Yeah, when you meet their requirements, then you are okay, but that means I'm not living my own life, I'm living someone else's life.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Absolutely, absolutely, that's definitely a challenge, man. Definitely. You mentioned something. I want you to share this with our audience because I I want to hear this again. You said you were very, very concerned about society. Tell us why.

Why Mental Health Is Sliding

SPEAKER_01 11:50

We know uh much more about the shit which is happening in the world and and whatever. That's partly true. That's partly true. But the main thing is that let's take it from a health and a mental health point of view. Okay, it's it's I would say 50-60 percent of people have some problems with that. That is not normal, yeah. So, but that means you either physically and or mentally or emotional health has an impact on the way you function, has an impact on the way you think, has an impact on the way you behave. And by being a lot of people like even 20 hours a day on their phone, and in that case, because you're on your phone and you're not sleeping, lack of sleep is a huge impact on your mental health.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

Good point, good point.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

Yeah, but it's like that thing has an as an impact on every fiber in your being, and that's happening everywhere, all over the world, especially in the Western world, in in what do we call the technology advanced world, and whatever, there's just been was it last week or the week before, very recently, the global uh mind health monitor was released. It's it's the largest research in the world. It's it covered more than a million people, and it said the people who are in wealthy and technology advanced countries like your country, like Western Europe, like whatever, they're worse off than people in sub-Saharan Africa and in South America. Why? Because they're day and night on these devices, yeah, and that has a negative impact because it's not only that you well, we already discussed the sleep, but it's also like um you lose your capacity for memory, for critical thinking, for for for coming up with your own creativity and your own ideas, all of that stuff, it's like it's and that's why I say brain fitness is is equally, if if not more important than body fitness, is like if you don't use it, you lose it. So it's very true. If I don't lose, if I don't use parts here, and I say, Oh, the AI is is is the best thing that happened to me in the world, no, because it's destroying everything with your capability here. It's the same, like well, I I had the unfortunate thing of a few years ago, a very severe car crash, and I broke a lot of things, then put it in in plaster, and you cannot you cannot use it. And after that, if they remove the plaster, it's not that you walk again like oh that nothing happened. No, you you gotta learn to walk again. Yeah, that's what people understand physically, but what they don't understand that that's the same thing happening cognitively.

Digital Dementia And Brain Downgrade

SPEAKER_00 15:21

So when you mention that's that's that's that's some powerful stuff, man. So when you mentioned you mentioned a couple of things I want to talk about, you mentioned uh how the brains are being downgraded. I want to get I want to get into that a little bit if you can break it down for make it make it make it something that we can all understand, and also the idea of digital dementia. That one hits me at close to home because my grandmother passed away and she was dealing with those things right before she left us. And it's weird when you see somebody who you've known all your life, basically, my grandmother was one of my best friends, if I can really say that. That's the kind of relationship we had. We used to watch wrestling together. We we had that kind of relationship with each other, and for her to not recognize me at all, one of the most painful things I ever felt in my life. And so I want to talk about the brain being downgraded, but also I want to talk about the uh the idea of digital dementia. What does that mean? And kind of share those things with us if you can. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

And of course, there's a difference between digital dementia and normal dementia, yeah. So of course, of course, and I I want to highlight that because they all turn back to the same point. I took care of the last eight years of my mother with dementia and parking, yeah. So, and then I did a lot of research, like because basically it can't be treated at the moment. So it's like, what should we do about it, and what is it? And and basically we don't know, yeah. But what is known is that there is a very, very high percentage that you can prevent it. People don't know this stuff. You can prevent dementia up to even in the 90 percent. That there have been doctors and research and everything being done, and the main thing, Yusuf, where they come up with is that you let your brain do complex, challenging stuff. In other words, keep on using it instead of watching TV all day or YouTube or or gaming all day or whatever. No, you have to actively use your brain. So that's the dementia thing from what people say is old age, but that age is already declining very rapidly. So my mother was past like 85 or something when she got that. But there are now people in their 50s who will get dementia, so that age is going down, it's you know, down, down, down. It's no longer like when you're very old, you get it. No, it's now younger people who get it. Digital dementia is has a different cause because my mother never used PCs or smartphones or whatever, but it's like digital dementia is the same thing. If you all day are like consuming everything which is happening there, you're not using your brain, you're not using at all, you're just basically ignoring it because you you accept everything from the outside world as true, and and and and so you lose your critical thinking, you lose your creativity, you you only want instant gratification, it's like everything's gonna be within 20 seconds of dopamine hit, otherwise, I'm I'm going to to the next video. So that is for dementia, but it's even like it's not only young people, it's like there has been research, and I know in this case it's from Poland. There were doctors in Poland where they uh for x-ray, yeah. If you they make an x-ray of you, and then they do an analysis of the x-ray, like okay, what's wrong or what's what should be done. Those doctors noticed that if they use AI to do the analysis, their own capability declines. That has been tested, that's scientifically tested. It's it's it it's not just an interesting story, it's the truth. So that is digital dementia. It's like you you so you start behaving stupidly, yeah, and you start not questioning. I think in today's society what we need is critical thinking and questioning, questioning our leaders, yeah, because they make terrible, terrible decisions. So we should be capable of doing it, but but if we are day and night on our phone, we can't. Because we basically put our brain in the stone age, and so it's like that is that is not good. So it's like there's serious repercussions for your brain, just as with your body, if you don't use it, you lose it, and that is happening right now.

Practical Brain Fitness Habits

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Makes sense. So, what do you suggest people do, especially those that are watching and listening right now may catch on the replay? What do you suggest people do to keep their brains fit? I know that shortening your screen time is something that is recommended across the board. We've heard it for years, it just really put it into action a lot of the time. Some people do, but not everyone. What do you suggest, Arnold, is a good way to maintain brain fitness or create uh brain fitness, I should say. What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 21:02

There are a couple of steps. Um what I what I suggest to people is, and the technical terms I will explain is diverge and converge, it's it's out of creativity, but it means like diverge means follow your curiosity, follow things which you find interesting, and there's there's no reason behind it, just like I want to know how how long are bees living and how do they make honey? How does that work? Well, go find out, it's really good for your brain to do that. Okay, that's diverge, and it can be anything. Like I I want to understand whether horse riding is something for me. Well, go and do it, try it. So that's the diverge, and out of the diverge comes the converge. Converge is bringing things together, it's like Create something and create something, it doesn't have to be like a business or a painting or whatever. That's super or a startup, but all these things are really super, but it could also be create a new ingredient, use a new ingredient in your meal. Go have a different walk in go to different streets where you never be. Go live in another country.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

I got questions about that. You did that, I think, four different countries and didn't speak the language. Why did you put yourself through that? Help me understand. You have to be lonely and almost intimidating to be in the country where you don't speak the language, and everybody else does. Why'd you put yourself in that situation?

Moving Abroad To Stay Curious

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Well, there's a positive and a negative reason. Yeah, the the positive reason is exactly like I when I worked in the corporate world, I had at some point in time European and global responsibilities, meaning I was a lot in a plane. Throughout mostly Western Europe, and once a month I was in the US while I was based in the Netherlands. And then I had like, okay, you in a plane, you go to the airport, you rent a car, you take a taxi, you go to your hotel, from the hotel to the office, and then the opposite thing. It's like it's nice, I loved it, but it's like I want to live in another country for a while. How is it to live in the US? How is it to live in in other countries? Like, so I wanted to get that experience. At that point of time, for reasons outside of my own influence, it didn't happen. But 10 years ago, well, I was totally broke, and and and I went to the social benefit system in the Netherlands, and I said, Hey guys, I'm totally broke, I've got nothing anymore. Well, you still get some money. I said, Okay, but that you still got money in your own retirement fund, so you gotta use that. We don't give you any money. Oh, thank you very much, Dutch government. So okay, I was totally pissed off. So it like I I had to take up that I took the money out of the retirement with with and then I said, I'm gone. I I'm now doing what I already wanted earlier, I'm out of this country. So, and that's when I first ended up a few months in Vietnam, and then I ended up more than a year in Budapest and Hungary, which I loved. It's really, really, really nice experience. And um, and that's what I liked it to continue. It's like because, but then I had to go back to take care of my mother, what I already taught, and um, and my mother passed away a few years ago, and then I had to settle everything, and then I'm like, okay, I'm gone to another country, yeah. Which meant yeah, so I first was in Vietnam in O Chimin City, then in Budapest and Hungary, then in Kluj in Romania, and I just arrived two weeks ago in Paraguay. Okay, so and I love it, it's like it's so nice to see other climates, other cultures, other people, other things working in a different way. It's and it links to that curiosity. It also is like, hey, if you travel in a lot, meet different cultures and people, you you get more respect for other people, you get more respect for how things are done, and you you more understand why things are not working or things are working, yeah. And it's like it's really beautiful, it's really, really nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

So um you're pretty well-rounded, man, because of that, I can tell.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yeah, it's it's like well, I I'm currently in that phase, so it sounds simple. Well, if you got a couple of million on the bank, then everything is simple and easy, yeah. But it's like I don't have that, yeah. So it's like I I I came here um because I I had to get residency and an ID and the process, okay, fine. So it was in a hotel, and then I couldn't find anything. So now I'm I'm in an Airbnb, but in two weeks it will stop. But it's not like I'm going home because I have no home. So if I don't, if I don't do anything, there is no home. So what are you gonna do? You don't speak the language. Well, I don't speak the youngest yet. I want to learn it here. It's Spanish in most of South America, but like, well, you gotta figure it out, you gotta connect with people, you gotta you gotta do your research, you gotta ask, you gotta do this, yeah. So it's like you gotta build up a network, yeah. But all these things are not happening. If I just sit here in my apartment, it's like oh I'm I'm lonely and nothing is happening. No, you gotta get out, yeah. Yeah, and you gotta talk to strangers, and even strangers who have no clue what you're saying, so it's like no clue.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

You're a standout guy, man. Thank you for being on our show, man. Definitely want to hear more about the conditioning because we all deal with that, we just don't know it's happening sometimes. So you uh definitely shining a light on this, and thank you for doing that. Uh, I want to ask you this last thing that I want to give you uh a few minutes to kind of just speak to our audience, share what's on your heart, how you want to encourage the viewers and listeners who are listening to your episode with us today. But also, in doing that, I also want to kind of share how you specifically want to be remembered at the end of the day. We all have goals and plans and timelines and things like that, but I'd also know how you want to be remembered despite all you've been through today. How does Honor want to be remembered by everyone at the end of the day, and then take a minute or so to kind of just share some encouragement with our viewers and listeners, and then we'll close the show after that. The floor is yours, sir. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Better for all leaders. It sounds simple, it's not simple, it's something which is urgently needed because we see at business level, at societal level, at government level, at military level, they're not better for all, they're better for themselves. So I I hope that what I'm trying to do by using people's potential, and you, our audience, your potential is totally unlimited if you let go of the strait jackets, and I can help you with that, is to focus on better for all, yeah, making things which are better for all, for you, for me, for the community, for the environment, for the ecosystem in which we are part of. Excellent. Then your next question was what do I would like to leave the audience with? There's three things. There's three things. Number one, be kind, especially especially to yourself. Because we we have this voice inside of us. I have it as well, unfortunately. We call the inner critic. So we it's really terrible, it's really terrible. So we gotta learn to manage our inner critic and let it become an inner cheerleader. So be kind, be kind to yourself. Only if you're first kind to yourself, you can be kind to other people. The next one is like be imaginative, okay. Okay, yeah. So imagine a better world. Imagine where everybody's nice to each other, where everybody is helping each other, where everybody is is is like seen and heard, where everybody is is is really really themselves. You're living your own life instead of the life of someone else. Yeah, yeah. You're living your own life, yeah. So and and the third one is be unique. You Yusuf, Arnold, all everybody who's watching or listening, you are unique. You're not the same as anybody else on this planet.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

So use that uniqueness, and with your uniqueness is needed to make this world a better place for all of us.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

Thank you, sir. Your transformational trainer, Arnold Beeks. Thanks for joining us here, sir. You can find him at braingym.fitness. I'm sure he's happy to talk with you about brain athletics and brain health. He's very committed to mental mental health, so definitely reach out to him, braingym.fitness. And of course, I'm sure you can find him on social media as well. Arnold Beaks, thank you very much, sir, for being a part of this conversation. We needed to go here, we need to hear about what was going on in our brain. We spend all the time at the gym, and our brains are suffering as a result. So we definitely need to make sure we take care of that. When we lose that, nothing else really matters. We've seen that play out in our families' life and in the lives of others, too. So thanks for being a part of the conversation, sir.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

Have a great day, everybody. That's Arno Beaks. I'm Mr. You. We're out of here. Have a good day.