They Call Me Mista Yu

Rooted, Realigned, and Risen: Mairin Moore Cane's Face To Face With Mortality

Mista Yu

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Your body can be the loudest truth-teller in your life, especially after years of trying to be “the responsible one” who keeps the peace. We sit down one-on-one with Mairin Moore-Cane to talk about what happens when silence, stress, and people-pleasing collide with real life. She shares her path from a quiet childhood shaped by split households and insecurity to a season where chronic illness changed everything and demanded a new way of living.

Mairin opens up about being diagnosed with gastroparesis and nervous system damage, the fear and isolation that came with extreme symptoms, and the moment she realized control was not the same thing as strength. We dig into the messy middle that never makes it onto social media: the doubts, the grief, and the decision to build a legacy for her kids instead of chasing approval. Along the way, she explains what a TED Talk really is, why one clear idea can move people, and how telling the truth becomes a form of leadership.

We also challenge hustle culture without shaming ambition. Mairin breaks down a healthier definition of hustle that still honors excellence, while protecting your mind, body, and nervous system. She shares her “unseen load” framework, the hidden burdens people carry until they become heavy, plus practical tools like gratitude, journaling, breathwork, prayer or meditation, and one simple daily question: what can I release today? If you care about authentic leadership, burnout recovery, women’s empowerment, resilience, and sustainable success, this conversation will stay with you.

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SPEAKER_00

Welcome back to one-on-one with Mr. U. Of course, I am your host, Mr. U in studio with a speaker, best-selling author, woman's empowerment coach. She does so many different things. Renaissance woman, if you will. Marin Moore Kane is in the house. Marin, how are you?

SPEAKER_01

I'm great. How are you?

Childhood Roles And Finding Safety

SPEAKER_00

Fantastic. I'm glad that you're here. Before you uh, before we get into what you've been doing, which is awesome stuff. If you're watching and listening for the very, very first time, first again, first first off, if making us part of your week, excuse me, again, Tony Cloud, excuse me. Uh, if you're watching this for the very first time, we are definitely live on YouTube and Facebook, as well as all listening platforms, probably within the next 90 minutes or so after the show wraps. So fancy again, pick us part of your week. We have four shows on our brand. Excited for you to be a part of this one. Wearing more canes in the house. So let me ask you a question real quick before we get into the awesome stuff that you're doing right now. Kind of give me some take this into your childhood. What's some key factors from some key factors that got you from where you were then to where you are today, the woman you you've become today? So kind of give me some little key factors, some tissue, if you will, how you got from where you were then to where you are now.

SPEAKER_01

You know, I think that life is it's pretty self-explanatory. You know, we grow from these little kids to who we are now as adults, and who we were then is not who we were, who we are now. And my story is very much that same thing as a little girl. I was a very quiet, timid, very analytical. In one of my homes, I, you know, I kind of had to keep the peace and I had to be the one to take care of things. And I was kind of the responsible. I was the oldest. And so, you know, I was always very much trying to show up as the responsible one and the one that made everybody proud. And the one that, you know, that really was there to really well, I felt in my responsibility was to show up as the family, ironically enough. And then in another home, because my parents were split up, I was the visiting child where, you know, I always sought out the love. I always sought out to fit in. And unfortunately, then I didn't feel that. And I was very insecure, very cautious of how I showed up, very quiet. And unfortunately, there were some things in that home that didn't just quite sit with me in a place that made me feel safe. And that's a whole other story we could go into. I only think we have what, 30 minutes, but let's just say I was not who I was then. And I spent many, many a year. Actually, um, I'm getting ready to have my Ted talk about this, ironically enough.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, wow, congratulations.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you. It's coming up. I'm getting excited. I just had my last coaching call yesterday and it was like, but you know, I you grow into who you are, and the things happen to you and they happen for you in a way. I think that you have to learn to accept some of it is choosing forgiveness, some of it is choosing to grow past, some of it is choosing really just to become the different person from that situation. And that's really my scenario, my story. I went from a very quiet child, like I said, to to be honest with you, you know, when you hold things in, the body holds the score. And I I got very sick and excuse me, I kept seeing symptoms for a few years, but I thought they were always isolated. And then I got very sick in 2020 and went from running nine miles a day to 90 pounds bedridden and really losing my life with chronic illness. And I will tell you, I don't quite know what caused a lot of that. I'm losing my voice, so forgive me. But I uh, you know, when you hold a lot of that in, your body tends to show up in other places to say, you can no longer be quiet about this, and you can no longer ignore this because this is who you are. And so I really had to face and show up differently and learn to speak differently and advocate for myself and learn who I really was on the outside of what other people were. So here I am. I show up now. I'm a I'm a speaker, I'm a I'm an author, I'm a coach for women who really need to use their own voice and really show up in their own times of growth and transition.

How TED Talks Actually Work

SPEAKER_00

Well, we're definitely going to get into what's behind you in a little bit. I'm gonna ask your question about that TED talk because I'm intrigued by that. Um I don't want to spend a lot of time on it because you're developing things and working things out. I just have one question that the analytical person in me has to ask. In effect, how do you do a TED talk? Because for me, I'm the kind of person that I need to have some bullet points. Having some slides wouldn't hurt me. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

What did they how do they purpose this? Is are you memorizing 60 minutes of information?

SPEAKER_01

No, in fact, a TED a TED talk is basically classified as what is it? I mean, there's really they say no more than 18 minutes. So there's that, you know, you're freed from stage at that point at 18 minutes.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01

They they do say that you want one, what is the one concept or idea that you can introduce to the world that is whether it be ingenuitive or or something that's just a key to the world that you can share that that helps change and leave them different. And you know, really that that's just it. It's it's your stories, it's your why, it's what you believe in, it's it's what your passions are. Um, sometimes maybe it's your work. For me, it it's my story, it's my life. And for me, it was sharing that what you cannot hold those those voices in. You have to show up in who you are, or they come out in other areas. And sometimes it's illness, sometimes that's other things.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like it's telling your story. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. That's that's doable.

SPEAKER_01

It's passion. I mean, it's really you gotta know your key points a little bit, you gotta have some backup statistics to follow it up. But you know, in reality, it's just sharing your story and sharing why you want to have other people know it so that you can help them.

SPEAKER_00

I love that. That I mean, that's going to take you to a whole different level in your business. I'm quite sure. I'm glad I taught you before you got too famous. So I'm glad you got on before before all that stuff happened. I'm so I'm so grateful that you didn't uh do this after your Ted talking about she's she's not gonna have time for this.

SPEAKER_01

I'll say one thing. That is the one thing that I'm grateful for every opportunity I have. And you know, I I hope and I'll bookmark this because let's say I do go big, as they all say, right? I I think it's just every opportunity that God gives you, and I'm grateful for everything, and I'll I hope to never ever change from that.

SPEAKER_00

I love it, man. I love it. I'm gonna hold you accountable. You know, I got the number now. I'm gonna I'm definitely gonna hold you accountable for sure. But you've been featured as CEO Weekly, USA Today, Women's World. You've been put out there as a leadership model, along with all the authenticity that I I personally have seen come out of you.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Tell me why you you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna rephrase that question. Tell me what you've been experiencing as being a woman's coach and as a leader, and good and good and bad. I want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly because people come on our show, and I'm I've been talking a lot about people who've been on our show for in the past. I'm skipping a lot in past references, I don't know why. But people come on our show and they want to tell me all our highlights. I'm like, that sounds great. Yeah. I want to get into more of the Grammy part because my listeners want to hear that. They want to understand, you know what, what they're in right now, they'll tend to be where they stay. Yeah. And it's it's it's real, it's authentic to be able to have. I mean, the social media world shows you the highlights. You don't see the work, you don't see the the blood, sweat, and tears, so to speak. You don't see that kind of stuff. Or you see the highlight. This is where I am. How'd you get here? Oh, oh yeah, I forgot about that part. So I love you, I love you kind of share from a perspective as a woman's empowerment coach, as a leader who leads your presence first. Tell me the some of the good and the bad and the ugly about that. I want to make it real for our audience. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

So here's the thing: life is messy. Let's be real. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely.

Illness Rock Bottom And Legacy

SPEAKER_01

But I think it's through our messes that we grow and we get stronger with if we're paying attention to it and if we're actually having gratitude for that enough to grow through it. My one of my hardest moments being in its messiest was, I mean, like I said, I was a high performer. I was, you know, I was hustling and doing my work, and I was showing up for all of these other people. I've been married for 26 years. I was showing up for my children. Thank you. It's probably one of my biggest accomplishments, and I absolutely love it every day. But I will tell you that, you know, in in your messy of seasons, you question everything. And my messy season was when I was sick, and I went from thinking I was pleasing everybody and I was happy with my life, which I mean, we're all we all think that we're in one place until we're challenged. And when you're sitting on the bathroom floor, I was I'm diagnosed with gastropresis, which means that my gastro system is paralyzed 70%. I also have some nervous system damage, which means that all the autonomic things that your body does, so like your breathing, your temperature regulation, your heart rate, your digestion, those don't function in the same way for me. So my blood pressure typically can be normal, and then all of a sudden it's 200 over 160 and it's unmanageable. So I went through a time where I was anything even remotely stressful could put me into a risk of cardiac arrest or any type of stroke. So I mean, I really had to isolate myself. Like I said, when I was in bed for three years, it was I was in bed. And my my kids would like, you know, they always had to kind of tiptoe because God forbid we spook mom. We didn't want her to get sick. These were kids who also they're now 21 and 16, but they had to see some of my worst moments. And they were also the ones who had to call the ambulance many a time for me. And messy moments, scary moments. Um, to be very frank with you, I tried to control it for like two years. I kept, you know, uh disagreeing with the doctors. No, we got to find more answers. No, this is the and I finally had to come to the conclusion that so this is my life. And what do you do with this life? Because whether it's five minutes, five years, 50 years left, I mean, who knows, right? In reality, what are you gonna show up as and who's watching you? And my kids were watching, and I knew I still get choked up to this.

SPEAKER_00

It's okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

I I I knew that I didn't want my kids to ever give up, and I knew they were watching everything, and there was many a night where I would have rather have given up, you know, when you're vomiting all day, every day, and you have nothing left in you. There's some pretty scary moments that you go through, but you know, I made a determination really one night that I was done. And I literally was on my hands and knees, crawling back to bed. My husband had just fallen asleep. And not to get too religious, there. I always had this sermon on who's now my my pastor at my church, and I was listening to him on the TV. And I said, God, I can't do this anymore. I really can't. And I give up, I give it to you because whatever I have left, I don't know what the heck I'm doing. And I just know that my kids are watching, and if I'm gonna leave anything, I'm not gonna leave it in a mess. And for the first time, I decided I was no longer going to do it to please anybody else but myself, God, and my family, my kids. I wanted my kids to know. And so I decided that if I got up off that floor that night, that I was going to start being more vocal with my voice of what I believed, what my values were, and how I wanted to leave a legacy. And that started with I was writing a journal, which then led to my book. And in fact, when I when I did hire my publisher and coach, I said, this is not to do business, this is to leave a legacy. And if there were a few times, quite frankly, before I published the book, that they kept trying to spin me into writing a business. And I said, This is not what this is about. And my podcast, all of it now, it's it's for those, in all honesty, who are ready to give up, who need somebody to be in their ear, like I need somebody to be in mine and keep going. I need other people to know the same thing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I love this. I love this. So in Christmas, I don't want to go up. First off, thanks for being so transparent. Number one, uh, I'm glad that you're you're doing a lot better now. I don't know what every day looks like for you now, but I'm still believing God for your healing, despite.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you.

Redefining Hustle Without Burnout

SPEAKER_00

The years and the things that you've seen. I believe that Jesus took care of that for us on the cross. So that's kind of where I'm at with that. And and that's and that's I'm not gonna I'm not gonna I'm I ain't going back on that, even if that stuff happened to me, and it does. I want to talk to you about the hustle part.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm from a part of the world. A lot of people who know me know where I'm from, they know what my hometown is. Hustle is in the vernacular. It's it's it's it's it's baked in quite literally.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You talk about releasing the hustle. Tell me why you think the hustle even started for you. And how did you actually go about releasing it? Because people who are watching and listening to the show right now are hustling as we speak. A lot of people who are when I first started in 2020 with the show, people who are listeners, they were all doing something. They would tell me in the comments, I'm doing the laundry, I'm jogging, I'm homeschooling the kids, I'm doing X, Y, Z. Hustling while listening to this show.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Tell me what hustle means to you and how you came about releasing it.

SPEAKER_01

So here's the thing. I think that we have this determination or title of what hustle is, and in reality, hustle, you can still hustle and still show up differently. I think, and that's one thing I had to learn is, and I think maybe that's what the beautiful thing of what COVID and quarantine did. I mean, in reality, it really messed with a lot of things, but it did one thing. It taught us that we can slow down enough and not have to maybe necessarily show up in a response of a reaction or fear that involved having to do something in such a way to succeed. I think that you can still show up and hustle in a way of doing all the amazing things that we want to do in life. To me, hustle is I'm gonna show up and do and be my very best, and I am gonna prove every bit of what I am capable of in life. I am going to make it happen as much as I am given every opportunity. But that doesn't mean I have to be anxiety-ridden. I don't have to be stressed to the max and running to the point where our bodies are responding in fear and anxiety and worn out. I think that there's other ways that we can show up to still do all of the amazing things that we can and still be the hustler that we are.

Authentic Leadership And Integrity

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, I love this. I love this. So tell me, because you deal with leadership so much, and I love talking to people who deal with leadership, but I always have to have to kind of go a little bit deeper. I have to.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I really believe in leading yourself first. Should me, well, this is a two-part question for you, American. Where have you seen authentic leadership and where has it been missing in your life and experience?

SPEAKER_01

You know, I think authentic leadership, I actually just did a podcast and I just literally just hopped over from doing one. There was a gentleman.

SPEAKER_00

I know you're busy. I I I I get it. We already established your big I get it.

SPEAKER_01

So actually, I would love to introduce you because I think that he had a fantastic thought to this. His name was Stephen Scoggins. You'll hear him on my podcast coming up soon once it publishes. But he did a fantastic and beautiful way of really explaining what leadership is. And really, we cannot lead from who we used to be or where we think we're supposed to be, or from an area of control. Leadership really is showing up right here, right now, being the best kind of leader that we are. And I think that that is the kind of leadership that needs to show up a little bit better. I actually forgot your question, but but that's really what you know.

SPEAKER_00

I can help you with that. No worries.

unknown

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00

It was it was a two-part question, kind of long. My apologies. The first one was where have you seen authentic leadership in your life and experience? And where have you not seen it? Where has it been missing in your life and experience?

SPEAKER_01

Um, you know, it in my own life, I I I've seen it in very different ways. I saw it in my mom. She was a single mom, and she just showed up doing the best she could to be a great mom. I yeah, I I I cannot fault her for her faults because you know, we're all just doing what we know best in life in the time that we have. My grandmother, she was another one as an entrepreneur. She had a coffee shop. In fact, my mom almost had me in the coffee shop as an entrepreneur. She was my biggest hero and probably my biggest. She was who I epitomized of what kind of person I wanted to be as a leader. She was an entrepreneur and she never let anything stop her. I never heard her complain ever about having to go to her her shop seven days a week. She just she loved her work. And I never heard about financial complaints from her. She always made it happen. She taught me so much about manners and professionalism and how to show up in customer service, you know, even as little as, you know, as being as little of, you know, three, four years old, you know, she had greeting cards at the back of shop and she was organizing or having me organize for him, or she taught me how to count the money backwards so that the customer actually physically knew that you were giving the right money back. I mean, she was all about having integrity in her work. So those would be the best kind of leaders. And then I've experienced those that are not. And in unfortunately, in our own leadership journeys, we have to find them out on our own way. Unfortunately, I won't throw them deeply under the bus, but I have had a few partners in other businesses that uh showed me what kind of leader I didn't want to be. Loyalty. And and how much I put my heart and my soul into the people that I work with. And I will never ever lose that integrity of that. And unfortunately, some people don't do that. And so you can only pray that they grow further into their leadership.

SPEAKER_00

I love that. I love that. When I say root, realign and rise, what comes what comes from? Oh, wow, look, it's right there.

unknown

That's yeah.

SPEAKER_00

What comes to mind for you now at this stage of your life and your in your journey?

SPEAKER_01

I think in everything we do, roots, it's who we are. It's what we, what our values are, our integrity, where we're coming from, always keeping keeping that as our base. Realignment, we will always have resilience that we will have to face growth lessons in which we'll have to realign in. And it it really matters how we show up in that, not thinking about the past, what we could have done different, not thinking about where we should be instead, or really just understanding that we are in a present season of becoming more of who we are right here, right now, realigning in that moment in order to rise.

SPEAKER_00

I love that. Somebody's watching right now probably believes in the myth of being a superwoman.

SPEAKER_01

I hope so.

SPEAKER_00

What would you say to them? What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01

Uh, you know, I think we all have it in us. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to be able to use. Maybe it's a platform, maybe it's a skill, maybe it's just an opportunity. But I think that if we're really getting deep into it, I think God, higher being, whatever you want to call it, I think we are given certain talents, certain skills, certain opportunities in life, and it's how we show up in those. And it's my job, my belief to show up to help others. It's what I love to do, and it gives me the greatest joy to do it. It gives me purpose to live every day.

SPEAKER_00

We have that every day.

unknown

Yeah.

Grandma’s Smile And Community Service

SPEAKER_00

You're you're big, you're a big bright light in this place, so we definitely want to go around. Sure. Thank you. We got so we got so many uh areas where we connect and we are weaved into networks and circles and communities and things like that. But it feels like sometimes we don't learn from. From history. We go on and we and we talk about things, we teach, and the generations ahead of us have no idea that we learned anything because they have they can't see it in our life. Tell me the number one thing that you learned from grandma that you are still doing today is the thing. If you know what? If I don't remember anything else, I can't forget this. What's that?

SPEAKER_01

You know. Wow, there's so many. To be honest with you, I I think just showing up with a smile every day. I think that is the one thing she never gave up. She always taught me to serve with a smile. And I remember very vividly there were Christmases that we would be sitting at her shop wrapping gifts for people who some couldn't afford. And it was the one gift that they could give. And there were others that brought in just, you know, they were trying to save, you know, their time and just here, wrap our gifts for us. And I remember one year we were exhausted. And it must have been 11 o'clock at night. And this person had come in and we were just locking the door. And they said, please, it's all I have. And I just need one. And there was just something different about this customer. And I called her nanny. My nanny said, just come in. I'll give you a cup of coffee. We'll get you through the night. And what never fully came out, what we were able to get from it was that this person was reuniting with a family member. And that was the only thing they could afford. And it was probably going to be the most life-changing meeting for this person, at least a memory that they would always hold. And what I got from that truly is no matter what's going on in life, just show up with a smile because it's not always about us. It's always about around us. And I think we often go through life so much in this hurry and this hustle and in this culture that we pass people and, you know, the crosswalks. We don't even make eye contact with them anymore. And in reality, we really need community. And I think it's being lost so much. And I look at my children and future generations you were talking about who don't even know until it's just there or it's not. In reality, it's how we show up today to serve for them. And I'm doing it for my kids. I'm doing it for this person who brought in that present. And I think that I think it's one of the things that we need to really emphasize for us all to show up in. We all have stories, we all have things. And it's not just for us, it's for our whole community.

SPEAKER_00

Anybody that's following your work, they're probably going to hear these three words: the unseen load. Talk to us about how you built that framework. I know it came from some tough times dealing with chronic illness and such, but kind of talk to me about what the unseen load came from and what are you seeing take place in people's lives now because of it. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think the unseen loads, I mean, they are. They're the things that no one wants to talk about. And some may feel like they're nothing, they're small, but we all carry them. And over time, they carry this heavy burden that, you know, it's kind of like, you know, when you hold up the glass of water for so long, you know, it may be the slightest glass of water that's not so heavy, but when you hold it up long enough, it actually becomes heavy. And those loads actually that we're holding inside of us, they actually do matter whether they feel heavy at the time or not. And how we hold ourselves up with that load is what really matters and how we handle that. There are things and practices that I always recommend, you know, starting your day with gratitude, showing up, asking yourself, what is one thing that you can release that's really doesn't have to be carried so heavy that day, writing things down, you know, what keeps you grounded, you know, things I've got practices for burnout, you know, taking those deep breaths and not just really sitting in, you know, your five minutes of of meditation or prayer. There are other things that you can do within it. I journal a lot. I was actually just talking to somebody recently about this, that, you know, it's just not forcing the things in how we're journaling or forcing ourselves to do the practices of it's showing up presently in them and allowing yourself to be heard. Those unseen loads really are screaming inside of us, and they're very hard to carry, they're very heavy to carry if we don't, if we don't work them out.

Values Boundaries And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely. Love that. All right. This should be my last question, hopefully. Depends on depends on how you answer it.

SPEAKER_01

Uh oh, I feel like pressure's on.

SPEAKER_00

The pressure is on. This is always a tough question, but I always ask this for most of the guests. Sometimes I'll I'll talk I'll talk with it in and out, but what's the area in your life right now that you believe is least aligned with your values? Did that make sense?

SPEAKER_01

Ooh, least aligned. Least aligned.

SPEAKER_00

That means you know what? I need to work on this. This is not where I want to be.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I I definitely hold myself in boundaries. I'm I am a what you see is what you get. I show up in honesty. I show up in my values. If I see something that I don't like, I'm very much vocal to say, I think we can do this better. I don't think that you have to show up in a in a violent, angry way, but you can offer different ways to do things. I don't believe in ego. I cannot stand something or somebody who has an ego because I think that we all have room to grow further in. And I boundary myself for my health now. So that is one thing I really, really put a stake in the claim on that we all should be doing. I don't like the, you know, we go back to the hustle culture. I don't believe that we have to do it the same old harmful way to our bodies, to our nervous systems, to our minds and to our spirits.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you very much. I appreciate that. So, so so so so much here. If you don't mind, just take the next two minutes or so to close our show out for us. Speak to the people. Whatever you want to share, it's on your heart. You don't have to uh share anything, you don't have to reshare anything. This could just be where you are right now, what you may want to say to the viewers and listeners who are watching. And then also, in whatever order you want to do that, let them know where they can find you and your work. You can do it in reverse order, but take this time right now to do let those know where they can find you, and of course, share whatever's on your heart. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01

I appreciate that. You know, I think if there's anything I can leave with your audience, it's that we all have something that we're going through. The world is going through a lot right now. And be kind to yourself, be gracious to yourself, and know that you don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to have everything in control, and you certainly do not have to show up perfect in order to lead for yourself, for others. Be kind and know that we're still becoming something more. You're just in the season of really becoming of who that is and what that is for you. As far as where you can find me, I would love to connect with anybody. I'm at marinmorecane.com or any of the socials Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram at Marin Morecane.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you very much. Best-selling author, speaker, women's empowerment posterships, women root, realign, and rise. Marin Morecane. Thank you again for your time and for doing this. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much for having me. Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, pleasure. That's Marin. I'm Mr. U. We're out. Have a great day. Thanks again for watching and listening.

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