MRTS Interview Spotlight: Philip Brittain - The VICTORY Framework Men Desperately Need Now

Confidence feels like a personality thing until life hits a season where you cannot “perform” your way out. We sit down with Philip Brittain, author, international speaker, entrepreneur, and creator of the Victory Framework, to talk straight to husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons who feel the pressure to be the provider, the steady one, the guy who never cracks. The conversation keeps coming back to one idea: confidence is a spiritual advantage, and identity cannot be safely anchored to outcomes.

We get honest about the cost of living behind a mask. Philip shares how the wrong voices, including childhood bullying and being picked last, can become a long-term identity script that fuels self-doubt, isolation, and hidden pain. We also flip the script and talk about the danger of being picked first, because constant approval can create false security and crushing pressure to keep the image alive. If you’ve ever said “I don’t care what people think,” we challenge that belief and unpack what it’s protecting.

From there we move into real-life friction points: marriage, affirmation, respect, and intimacy, plus the way unmet needs can drive distance and temptation if a man refuses to communicate and get help. We close with alignment, purpose, and spiritual habits, including why consistent Bible reading and prayer bring clarity and measurable change in joy, discouragement, addictive behaviors, and relationships. If there’s one stronghold you keep hidden, we offer a path forward: get in the Word, stop isolating, and get around other men who will hold you accountable.

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Transcript

Cold Open And Theme

SPEAKER_00 0:50

When it's both locked in the light, it's gonna be both the standard off the cool window full when it's stuck on the round. No man, no fun, just real man here. Talk about faith through the down and the fate from the ground of the week to the left of the chair. Welcome to the man's round table, full of a chair. Man's round table, steady at the step in the top. Real man, real faith where the food's alive. What is it at the table with a storage chair? Welcome to the man's round table, full of a chair.

Confidence Beyond Performance

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Welcome back to the men's round table series. Spotlight. Well, but you guys that are not aware this is a brand new series. It's a new show, as a matter of fact. Uh, we do still do the men's round table series every Thursday night at 7 p.m. EST, Eastern Standard Time. Uh, this is just an opportunity for us to spotlight men from around the country, around the world who have incredible stories, have some insights and uh actionable tips for the men that are watching and listening, who are husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons who need to kind of kind of support and the accountability that we provide here on the Men's Roundtable series. So this is an extension of that, and we've had one show already. So we're just getting started. It's been fun already. I'm bringing in a good friend of mine, and he is an author, international speaker, entrepreneur, as well as the creator of the victory framework. You might have seen him on the platform several times over the past few months. He's that good. Philip Britton's in the house. Phillip, how are you doing, man? Good to have you here, man. Doing great, man. Happy to be here. All right, excited, man. Good to have you here. All right, so a lot of things that we're gonna talk about, they all, of course, gonna be centered across the board to our men folk, the husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons. That's who we're talking to today. We're not excluding the ladies, but we know that they always jump in the comment section anyways and kind of share it with their significant others and their loved ones. Thank you for supporting us and doing that. If you're watching us for the very first time, which is very possible because the show is brand new, we are live on Facebook and YouTube and LinkedIn. So we're live on all three, and of course, the listening platforms will have this episode probably in the next month or so. So stay tuned for that if you are a podcast listener, not a podcast watcher. So, all right, so Phil, we talked about so many things in regards to your story. So we won't pull out too much of that if we don't have to, but one thing that you teach pretty consistently is that confidence is not a personality trait, it's a spiritual advantage. I love you, kind of share what what it means. Say talk to the men who find a confidence in their performance, and what happens, what do they risk when they lose that opportunity to perform?

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Man, that's that's a great question. Man, I identity is a big one for us, men. We we do, we tend to wrap up our identity in our performance or our job or sports or whatever it is. I I gotta do better. I gotta provide better, I gotta provide more. I gotta be the breadwinner, I gotta, I gotta be all that my wife wants me to be, needs me to be. I gotta be all that my the business needs me to be. I gotta, I gotta show up because my peers are looking at me and they're thinking, good or bad, whether I perform or not. You know, we we wrap up our whole identity in whether or not we're doing good in whatever category it is that we have decided that we need to be good in, right? And it's it's such a false sense of security, it's a false sense of identity. And when those things, when you're not performing well, you don't feel well because your identity is wrapped up in the wrong thing, yeah. And and that's that's really the tragedy, right? There is because there are going to be seasons where you're not performing well, where market conditions are gonna shift, where somebody's gonna betray you and your business is affected greatly. It's gonna be, you know, your your your marriage is going to have some rocky times, and you're not going to be a hundred percent. You're you're gonna have times where you're gonna feel like isolating yourself and and getting quiet and pulling away and and not wanting to show up. You want to isolate yourself and and not want to feel the pain because things are too hard. And when your identity is wrapped up in the wrong things, that can happen far too easily. No doubt, man. So man, I it's it's it's a big deal, it's huge, man.

Trading Comforting Lies For Truth

SPEAKER_01 5:42

I I think if we want to if you want to be honest about it, and if we just look around a little bit, I'd see it so much, and honestly, it's not even gender-related at all. I see it in men and women. We're surrounded by both, we serve with both, we're in ministry, both, we're in relationships with both. I see it all the time. The scary part is that, man, once you start down that road, you know, you you're kind of faced with a big decision. You find out this probably gonna find out somewhere before you get too far down. This is probably the wrong road that you're going down. You gotta decide am I gonna keep going from the same face, or am I gonna turn around and start back over again? Both decisions are huge, they're big and they have massive implications, but we're all faced with that. Usually, folks take the that first route. Because you know what, I already been going this far. I'm gonna go ahead and just keep going. It ain't gonna amount to what I want, but I fear, I fear man, perhaps I fear the shame of having to go back and start all over again. So, identity is critical, brother. You you nail that man without question, man. You talked a lot about in your story, you talked a lot about self-doubt and kind of uh, you know, believing the lies that have been told to you. What do you say to the men that you know would rather have the comfort of the lie than the discomfort of the truth? What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_03 7:12

Oh man, I it reminds me of that scene from The Matrix where he's sitting down having a steak dinner and he takes this juicy bite and chomps on it for a while, and he says, Man, ignorance is bliss, right? And then he decides to go back into the matrix, you know. I we we can't really do that, but we we pretend really well, you know. We we we we we put on these masks of of pretending that everything is okay and it's not, and man, it just it if you don't dig in and deal with the identity piece, if you if you don't dig in and deal with where that false sense of identity comes from, which is usually due to listening to the wrong voices. For me, it was the constant bullying in my young grade school years, the the being beat up, the being called names and being picked last, and you know, everyone pulling away and not wanting to be. I had no friends growing up, I was the guy that everybody hated to be around. And that that does something to a person when you when you hear that negative constantly, constantly, constantly, when when everyone is constantly pushing against you, and and there's something that happens mentally, physically, and spiritually when you let those things sink in. And later on in life, they become part of your identity. You you hold on to it, and it's not who you think you are that's holding you back, it's who you think you're not because you've believed a lie that other people have said, you're not good enough, you'll never do that, you'll never succeed, you can't do that, all the dumb things people say when they don't have your vision. But man, I it's so important to really deal with the past hurts, the past pains, learning how to grieve, learning how to dig in and feel the things that we don't want to feel, especially as men, right? We we wanna we wanna compartmentalize, put it on a box, put it on a shelf and say, don't open that box, it hurts too much. Don't go there, man. And then we go out and live our life with this false identity, and we've got some of the people fooled some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time, right? There's people see our hurt, and we're we're carrying around baggage, and there's there some people see it, whether they say it or not. You're you're not fooling everybody, and when we can get to a point where we can be honest as men and say, Look, I I'm I'm hurting, I'm dealing with some stuff. Look, the reality is that I am, and you are, and every one of us is dealing with stuff, whether in this season or the next season or the last season. We're we've all got junk, and when we can come to a point where we can actually be honest and say, Man, I'm dealing with stuff, we need to be a shoulder and and to to be that that person to lift up each other's arms and say, Hey, I got you, brother. Let's go, right? We we need that. Isolation is is a killer, man.

Brotherhood And The Cost Of Isolation

Picked First Pressure And Hidden Pain

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Absolutely. That's one of the reasons why we have the community that you and I share together, and that's what uh a primary reason why I started the men's roundtable series podcast in the first place, because honestly, people may jump on the comments or and say otherwise, but I really saw it. I really saw what we are building through that podcast, and through this podcast now, because this is uh this is definitely a part of that effort, that mission. I really saw that. I think people jumping on social media posts talking about stuff. I really saw the kind of community, the safe space, the ongoing accountability that we're providing through this show. People who are we're pulling into the family and we're watching out for them. They're across the country, not global per se yet. I don't think we have any global partners that I know of yet, but definitely national, all across from where you are to where we are, all across the country, coast to coast. And we're checking in on folks, we're giving folks uh 3 a.m. wake-up calls or check-in calls. We're doing the thing that we're supposed to be doing as brothers. So I love that. This is saying I I know people say it all the time. I've even said it, but I don't know how true we can talk about that a little bit if you want to. People say, I don't care what people think. No, it's such a lie, we do. I don't think that's a real thing. I think it's I think it really is real. And what you said too about being picked last, if you ever been on a basketball court or a football field, and you were picked last or even next to last, it burns. I've never been last, but I've been second from the last. I've been there, and probably it was my height at the time, it could be a lot of different factors why, or people, or maybe I didn't know the person as well as the people who are in front of me. I don't know, but being picked last, it there's a pain that comes with it. But I really feel maybe you can speak to this part along with the I don't care what they think part. What happens when you pick first? That's a scary place to be, too. You just don't know it yet. You get picked first and you get kind of this comfort, like, oh, I've been picked. So I see I know grown men who I've worked with, who I serve with, who I've been in some kind of relationship with. They are the ones that have been picked first. And the I and the mindset that they have is like, wow, I'm glad I'm not you. I'm glad I wasn't picked first because now you got a sense of security, like you said earlier, where you think that you know what, you got an end now. You're always gonna be a part of this clip, this club, this group, you're always gonna be in. But yeah, from a internal value standpoint, what does that really mean?

SPEAKER_03 13:24

Oh man, that's a great, that's a great question, man. I I wish I knew what that felt like to be picked first, but for coming, you know, looking at it from the outside and and what reading I've done, when when you're picked first, maybe once or twice, that's good, you know, it gives you a little boost, yeah. But when when it happens all the time, I I think it really gives you a false sense of security, and it it kind of produces a you get a little bit of a chip on your shoulder, like yeah, I'm all that in a bag of chips, don't you know? Just ask me, I'll tell you. Come on, I know I'm all that they all know it, they pick me first. Can't you see I'm all that, right? Uh, you kind of you you assume something based on you know some outside factors, and I I think sometimes people can wear that as a mask to hide from others the pain that they're really feeling. And so, going back to your first question, the the performance idea for for some, it's I have to perform, and there's this elevated pressure that we put on each other because hey, they pick me first all the time, I have to live up to that now.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

Ooh, think about that.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Rather than just being yourself and and and being in your moment, now there's nothing wrong with striving and and going out to perform at a high level. But when you put that pressure on yourself to say, well, they assume, therefore, I have to live up to this, and I have to put this external pressure on me, we can we can almost wear that as a badge of honor that we shouldn't be wearing. Yeah, because we we know deep down inside I'm actually not that good. I'm really not all that in a bag of chips, and I'm actually a hurting, depressed man, and I need some help, but I can't tell anybody because everybody thinks I'm up here. I can't let anybody in and understand below the surface what's really going on because it would break the illusion. I think that's that's the danger that a lot of people, uh especially men, but I women do it too differently, though. Yeah, I mean for for them, it's it's it's style, it's dress, it's what kind of man they have on their arms, it's the you know what if if they got the sugar daddy, if they you know, uh women do it differently, but it's the same heart, right? Yeah, are we in trouble? I I don't know, maybe I I might have just put my foot in my mouth.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Am I in trouble with Kristen? I'm just okay, keep going, man.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

Oh man, no, I but it's true, right? We we all know it, we all feel it. Yeah, I that that's that's a struggle, man. I we have to we have to be careful of putting on errors and and pretending that we're better than we are, putting that external pressure on us. I don't we weren't meant to do that, you know. I God said you're you're gonna have to work to eat, you know. Yeah, you're gonna have to put in some effort you by the sweat of your brow. Yeah, it's gonna take some work, so we need to be prepared for that, but we don't need to put on all that excess pressure, it it's undue, it's unnecessary, and just be yourself.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Yeah, I love that man. So many places we can go with that.

Marriage Needs Respect And Intimacy

SPEAKER_03 17:22

But I it's it's hard to do if you haven't dealt with past hurts and and issues, if you're not dealing with the present hurts and issues. For a lot of guys, for instance, you know, let's talk about the elephant in the room. You know, you get married, and for guys, they say I do, meaning I do commit to having sex with you as my wife for the rest of my life, and I forsake all other sexual pleasures. The woman says I do to have a man that will support her so she can live the life she wants. But women are not taught how to be wives, they're either taught how to be over sexualized or they're taught that sex is bad, and so you you you get in a a marriage relationship. Let's say you did everything right and you decided not to have sex until you got married, and you get married, and suddenly it takes it takes a week before you're able to consummate the marriage because the woman is told that sex is bad, so she's scared, she doesn't want it. Too many guys fall into that trap, nobody tells them. Let's say the thing that's not said, right? And so either the you know it it takes a while, and then two two things happen in in a lot of marriages, and I I think most guys would agree, either the the woman in the relationship just isn't in the mood, and she denies and denies and denies the sexual intimacy that men need. And so the man gets quiet, he pulls away, he gets distant, he starts to isolate, he starts staying up late at night on his own because he doesn't want to go to bed. Because why would I go to bed if you're just gonna deny me? Right? And so then a whole slew of other things start to slip in, or the the the relationship, the issues going on in the relationship, he starts to pull away, he starts to look for affirmation, he starts to look for the things that he's not getting at home elsewhere, and that that's trouble, man. That's trouble. Oh gosh, and so you know, I if there's there, you know, women listening, men men really only need three things. We're pretty simple creatures. We need food, we need affirmation, and we need sexual intimacy, period. Like I if the if the wife will will take care of those three things, man, we will conquer the world for you, right? That tell me I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

I'm not doing it, I'm not saying anything. Oh man, I'll be honest with you, man. As many times as we had conversations about this on the on the round table, of course, you I gotta I gotta have you as one of our panelists in there for sure. We talked about it, and I've heard comments like that. I've heard people say that. I'm like, but for me, I have to stop and think. I gotta be honest, because I'm a I feel like I'm a pretty complex person, even for my own self. Sometimes it's hard for me to deal with me. I gotta think, wait a minute, is it just as simple as three? I have to pause and think. That's why I I hesitate to answer your question to respond to it. I'm like, is it just three? Is it is there a fourth? I'm just I'm gonna analyze, I gotta make sure that I'm totally before I say it because it's gonna be online everywhere forever. I want to make sure that the food part I agree with, sexual intimacy. I totally agree with that, especially the intimacy part that's really important. Maybe not want to hear that part, but it's it's important for us, it matters, it's not just sex, the intimate part is important, and then of course the affirmation and the validation from our wise, so that we're you know that we're the father, husband that we're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

That's that's part of the respect piece. There's a lot that goes into the respect. The affirmation is a big piece of the respect. Yeah, if you've ever let read love and respect, which I'm sure you have, all the the the affirmation, that's all part of the respect piece.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Okay, because this this thing that can file under that, I'm like the thing I like to see. Like, yeah, for example, we talk football sometimes, you and I, and we've even done it on uh on our uh broadcast. They call me Mr. You. We talk about football a little bit. I like it when my wife watches our game with me. I know it's not happening all the time because I'm not gonna explain, you know, what the what the ex is doing, and I'm not gonna explain coverages as much as I can understand it. She don't want to hear all of that stuff. So it just it's just it's it's basic stuff for her because she's not really into it that much. But it matters to me if she wants to watch a game from time to time. So you know what? I'm like, you do? Oh wow. We sit down and have little stacks together and we watch the game together. So I don't know, I don't know where to put that in your in your in your three bullets. Your three bullet lists. I don't know. Is that in there? That comes under affirmation, man. It's part of the respect.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Oh man, if if you respect me and you admire me, you want to come into what I'm doing and be a part of what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

Fair.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

Right? Yeah. You you want to you want to hang out with me. You want to be in my presence, regardless of what I'm doing. That that's love, that's respect, that's admiration. That is, I just want to be wherever you're at. Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Oh, I love that. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 23:18

Let's let's go biblical, man. Isn't that what God wants of us?

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Without question. He wants to be in everyone. We are his life, right? He wants to be invited into every area. We're not doing that. We invite him on Sunday and a Wednesday night. The other days of the week, we're on our own, and we don't really want him around to see what we do.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

We gotta put that into practice, and it's easier said than done.

Misalignment Purpose And Knowing God

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I want to ask you about because you lead a lot of people, you know, especially in the areas of faith and finding purpose and such. Where do you see men most often out of alignment? Is it what they believe about God, what they believe about themselves, what they're willing to sacrifice and compromise? What do you see, where do you see men most often out of alignment?

SPEAKER_03 24:11

I think you nailed the the the two things. How we view ourselves is is actually a direct reflection of how we view God.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

And more so, the the closer we get to knowing God, the closer we get to know ourselves. As we get to know the creator, we understand the created. Knowing who God is, his nature, and what he wants of us to be near us, to be in relationship with us. It gives us a better, clearer understanding of ourselves and the masks we wear, the pain we carry, the the bruises that we show. And we we really have an issue with knowing God. And therefore, we have an issue with knowing ourselves and being able to be real and transparent and present for everybody else in our lives. Because we don't have that real relationship with Christ, we don't understand Him, we don't have that relationship. Because that relationship suffers, all of our other relationships suffers. I love that. I I think that really is the core. Everything else comes out of that.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

We got time for a couple more questions. I gotta ask you this one just as a trail off of what you were just sharing just now. A lot of well, a lot of men, I won't say most, a lot of men desire to understand purpose. A lot of probably most men just they think being a breadwinner, just doing their own thing, excuse me, and being a good person is all that matters. But there are a lot of men, a larger number of men, even in today's times, that want more than that. When you look at their routines, it's almost a guarantee they're never gonna find it just because of how things are structured. What do you say to the man who talks about wanting purpose but refuses to change anything to accomplish it? What do you say to them?

SPEAKER_03 26:45

Man, going back to what we just said, it if they're struggling to find the purpose, I would bet it if I were a betting man, I would bet heavy on the fact that they do not have a clear, close relationship with God Almighty, with their Savior Jesus Christ. My guess is they're not reading their Bible, they're not spending time in prayer. And if they would do those things, a lot of things come into clarity really quick.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

What are you seeing that that's that says you know what this works? Because somebody might be watching, listening who don't ascribe to that and they don't see the point. Real quick before I ask my last question for the day, just real quick, if you can see a little piece of your life. When you have done that, what have you seen that said, you know what? People might want to do the same thing too.

Bible Habits That Change Outcomes

SPEAKER_03 27:44

There, there was a great study recently done, actually, that speaks directly to this. I forget the name of the I I forget it. I I had I have a copy of it, it's a fascinating study, but they they took a study of the effect of reading the Bible on a person's daily life. Someone who reads the Bible zero or one time per week, almost no difference in their life. Attitude, drug addiction, you know, overall feelings of doubt or worth. There's almost no difference in any category. Someone who reads their Bible two to three times a week, there's this minor ever so slight increase in you know, feelings of happiness or less feelings of doubt or suicide, less addictive behaviors. You know, so there's just a slight increase in all these other categories. But somebody who reads their Bible four times a week or more on average, it's like a hockey stick growth, man. It goes straight up the the difference it makes in whether or not you feel lonely, whether or not you're having feelings of doubt, discouragement, depression, suicide thoughts, your your level of happiness, your relationship with your wife, your kids, relationships with others. Like that they go through all these categories. And if you would get in your Bible four times a week or more, the difference is staggering. And that fits so well because I can go back to periods in my life where I recognize that I'm not reading my Bible, not nearly enough. And my life, I find that I'm in addictive behaviors more, I'm isolating more, I'm feeling doubtful more, I'm feeling discouraged more, all of these things. But I can go back and I can look at times in my life where I'm in the word daily, or at least four or five times a week, and I'm studying the word and I'm trying to be in prayer and seek God. Those times I can go back and I can see, man, my joy was through the roof. My effectiveness was through the roof. My my relationships were strong and encouraging. I could go through every category in those moments, yeah, and I can see where it applies and how it applies. So that is the number one encouragement I can give anybody. If you're struggling with anything, get in the word.

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Got it.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

It is living, it is transformative.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

I'm gonna have to get you to give me a second one since that's number one. But firstly, thank you for jumping in here, brother, and being part of our show. You've done something that nobody else on the earth has ever done. You've been on all four of our shows. You are you're definitely going up on the wall of fame without question, man. Thanks for taking the time to be in here and share your perspective and helping these men, these husbands, uh, fathers, brothers, and sons out, man. Thank you for being here, man, for doing this.

SPEAKER_03 31:14

Thanks for having me, man. It's been a blast.

Strongholds Surrender And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Same here, man. Final question. This is kind of a question I'd love you to pose towards the men that are going to be listening and watching today. I know that for you, the victory framework equals breakthrough. You've seen it in your own life and you see it in the lives of those that you're teaching and coaching. What would you say to the men who has that one stronghold, that one area that they refuse to surrender and is keeping them stuck? What is that? And what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_03 31:49

Man, that that one stronghold that you hide from everybody that you don't want anybody to see that you're afraid to talk about. The reality is that you're not alone. First off, everybody fights it in one way or another. Get in the word. The Holy Spirit will take care of it. But more importantly, get around other men and talk about it. Because other men who will support you and lift you up and strengthen you and encourage you and hold you accountable, that's what you need, in addition to the Holy Spirit and his work in your life. Get in the word, do the work yourself, get around other men. Relationships are so key. Don't isolate. That's such a big one. You're not alone, so don't act like it.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Absolutely. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

There's there's other men to support and lift you up.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Definitely. The author, international speaker, entrepreneur, and the creator of the victory framework, Philip Britain. Thank you, brother.

SPEAKER_03 33:02

Thanks, man. It's always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

Same here, brother. Same here. You guys are watching the men's roundtable series interview spotlight. Of course, our regular roundtable series is every Thursday at 7 p.m. EST. Unless I'm out of town like last week. But if you are available to be a part of that, by all means, jump in. All the links are in the show notes. We can kind of find out how to find our show. If you want to be a future panelist or be considered to be one, easy peasy. You jump into the show notes. The links are all there. But thanks again for watching the men's roundtable series interview spotlight. That's Phillip. I'm Mr. U. We already have a great day. Thanks for making us part of your week.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Men's Round Table series. Step inside. Real man, real faith where the truths collide. Voice to at the table where the stories get shared. Welcome to the men's round table, pull up a chair.